I wasn’t too sure whether to make this a rant, or just a generally wafflely story. By this I don’t mean a story about waffles - that would be a bit surreal, considering I’m not too sure what a waffle exactly is - or how you would iron one. I know it involves syrup, but then so does the Acer saccharumcan and in certain cases sex. (I’ll stop there before I get arrested, or this thread goes to the pit.) I decided to just start typing and stop when my fingers bled, it was time to go and play football, or I run out of space in the message window.
I’ve been recently trying to juggle various financial aspects of my life - mentally juggle, not physically, although if I was good I could juggle with money, for money - and have come to the conclusion that I should get a job. Not that I don’t have a job or two at the moment, I’m no slacker - in fact I have rather tight muscles apparently. (Incidentally, I’ve found that you can’t run out of room in the message window easily - it just starts scrolling your typing up, either that or it deletes the top line, I haven’t checked.) One of my problems is maintenance of my midget - it costs a lot to keep it going (grease, oil, rubber bungs, new pistons, etc.), sometimes I get in it but however hard I pump my feet it just fails to turn over…
Anyway, I have been stretching my bank balance out to keep the bank happy and to avoid having to resort to drastic measures like selling myself to medical science (I’m sure they could do with a laugh, or at least a brief snigger). My current employment involves either writing up a thesis (one reason for procrastinating and surfing the SDMB), or selling tickets for the local theatre on a part-time basis. As a physicist I’m sure I should be able to get a better paid job (e.g. as an accountant or a computer programmer, which is what most of my fellow graduates seem to have done) and my parents agree.
So, where to look? I could start begging - that seems to have nice, flexible hours although the pension plan is not very good, I hear - I’m not too sure I have what it takes to go up to a total stranger and try and bum a fag. Especially not in America, where I believe that sentence takes on a whole new meaning. Plus if I wanted to live off other people I could just stay at University. Or become a vampire.
It seems that there are several vacancies for teachers of all types which is not surprising considering the amount of friends who have given up and gone to more profitable, and less stressful jobs like bomb-disposal. Bomb-disposal being similar to waste-disposal I think, a camoflaged truck pulls up outside at some unearthly hour and the box of bombs (or whatever container you have for them) is thrown into the back. Sounds plausible - not too sure where the kevlar jackets and wire cutters come in to it, but I guess road rage incidents are more common nowadays. Research is probably my best bet, but I’m a bit squeamish of having injections, plus I rather keep my relative state of health. That’s my health state, not that of my close kin.
I have considered going into the theatre, but that just leads to the box office or backstage (and the law department, which joins on to the theatre). I think that trying to walk the boards would be risky - I’ve never been good at keeping my balance.
Another option would be to ask you, my fellow dopers…
…but that’s rather like painting a target on yourself and running through a subsidised NRA convention shouting “ban all guns” - it wouldn’t be long before someone took a cheap shot. I’m hoping that eventually someone will give me a job out of sympathy, or just to get rid of me.
Well, my fingers aren’t bleeding yet, and I’ve not even touched the topic of waffles. Perhaps I should, although I’m not an expert on such matter - I’m better at crumpets.
Feel free to inform me about job opportunities (or waffles - I’m ever ready to learn about new breakfast experiences).
<sitting, and waiting for the usual dearth of replies>
PT