Did you even bother reading the rest of the thread before you started jerking that knee?
:rolleyes:
Maybe she was just a nasty bitch. Maybe she was an old-fashioned-type woman who subscribes to the obviously little-known custom that a woman is the one who offers her hand first, not the man. Maybe she was a bitch or maybe her nervousness made her blurt out something that does come off as abrupt and rude. Perhaps she could be cut a little bit of slack considering where she is.
I would hope that she realizes that this is a man who might be anxious, nervous, bitter about being paralyzed, terrified at not knowing whatever is making him sick; and that she, a medical professional who has certainly been trained to understand that sick people are not always on their best behavior, could briskly respond, “Well I am sorry you feel that way, but I assure you that my dress in no way affects my medical knowledge or expertise. Now, would you like to continue or would you be more comfortable if I brought in another doctor?” I would hope she would be intelligent enough to take the circumstances into consideration and not respond with a somewhat snotty “Now that you’ve implied I’m a whore, I’ll bring in male doctor to make sure you keep your trap shut from now on.”
I guess they don’t teach that kind of thing in some medical schools.
Considering it was implied that the woman spoke broken English, (or at least, most of brossa’s clients do), it’s possible that she comes from a culture where such a thing is not acceptable.
Brossa: as to offering that some of your remarks as perhaps kind of bordering on racist, or rather, than they might appear to be bordering on racist, I apologize if you had no such intent. I was quite sure you couldn’t possibly be posting anything so crass on purpose, but thought that you might be unaware that referring to the “Non-English-Speaking Breast Pain Clinc” and the patient’s “greasy gob” can be misconstrued to have a certain ethnic slur to them. I am sure it’s just the disadvantage, on a message board, of not being able to see the writer’s humorous expression when using certain words and phrases.
Update for those keeping score: I struck a deal of sorts with the sensual-hug women at my school. I now give out hugs, but only “tap-tap” hugs, not sensual lovefest hugs. My shoulders have been squeezed dry, anyway. Our little Ms. Harding with the binder has also been excised from the group, as though a cancerous tumor.
As Denny said in a recent Boston Legal episode, “We begin our lives suckling on a breast, and if we’re lucky we end our lives suckling on a breast.”
Bolding and capitalization correction mine. I like to think so.
Don’t quote me on this, but I remember her saying something on this very topic I found highly amusing at the time, among the lines of “You should react to a faux pas in the same way you would react to embarrassing gasses and noises, emitted from either end: Pretend it didn’t happen, and let it dissipate gently into the air.”
She said that to a 15-year-old teenage girl who was being complimented by adult men.
She said that to a 15-year-old teenage girl who was being complimented by adult men.
She said that to a 15-year-old teenage girl who was being complimented by adult men.
There, that’s three times. I hope it’s stuck in your brain forever now and doesn’t spill out the next time you walk to your car.
He noted that the clinic he works in has a “joke name” that refers to an abnormally high proportion of people who don’t speak English natively–presumably, though not necessarily, of non-Caucasian races.
IANTD, of course, but I didn’t read it that way. It’s also considered unacceptable here–or was, at least, for a man to extend a hand to a woman in a non-business situation.
No, sir/ma’am. Judith Martin’s own words were enough.
Maybe so, but her words were nowhere to be found in the OP. If you had actually read the thread, you’d know that.
Except they weren’t her own words, and if you had read the thread, you would have known that.
:rolleyes:
If you’re referring to post #35, I see no reason to change my position.
You know that blurb on the SDMB front page where it says something like “Fighting ignorance since 1972 - it’s taking longer than we thought” - well they sure weren’t kidding.
Sigh.
That is it in a nutshell. It depends so much on the circumstances, and more than that, the chemistry. If the chemistry is right, it can be utterly charming, if it’s off, it can be alarmingly creepy.
Things were different back when. Ladies were not considered ladies if they did certain things, such as smoking or chewing gum in public.
I had hoped to start a debate about what is considered polite and rude nowadays. Also, the context was important. I realized, after that nice person found the quote, that Miss Manners was talking to a minor. A big difference in the safety area.
Last I’d heard, yes, acquaintance rape was the most common kind.
Sheesh, it’s 1973. No wonder it’s taking longer than they thought. 
You seriously have a problem with someone advising a 15 year old girl that it is ok to ignore a strange adult man who says to her, “My, you’re a pretty thing”?
Wow.
The advice, in fact, reads to me like Miss Manners is suggesting that people use their judgment in determining how to respond to a comment on one’s looks. I find it bewildering that such advice is so objectionable to you.
Miss Manners: “A truly harmless stranger–say, an old lady who says, “My, you’re a pretty thing,” before she thinks about it–may be acknowledged with a slight bow of the head and a distant smile. A strange man who makes such a comment should be pointedly ignored.”
Actually, re-reading that extract from Miss Manners, it would appear that she was using “strange man” in the context where strange means “odd, weird, peculiar, disconcerting, eccentric” rather than “unknown, stranger”. Telling women and young girls to pointedly ignore obviously odd men makes perfect sense!
As if she was telling someone to ignore funny men, when by “funny” she means peculiar, and you think she mean comedians!
If that’s what she meant by “strange man” she could have been much clearer.
I disagree and think she meant ‘a man you don’t know’. She doesn’t contrast ‘ordinary people’ with “a strange man”. She contrasts “a truly harmless stranger” with “a strange man”. Stranger= somebody you don’t know. Strange man= man you don’t know.
Definitely.
As a matter of social judgment, that is. Safety and courtesy have nothing to do with each other.
[oooohh Shiney] Er, what was that again? 
(yes I had realised, big difference between tlling a child “That’s a pretty dress” and “My, your a pretty thing”, what you quoted was me agreeing with you previously )
I certainly agree with you about bringing the nurse it. I’m just suggesting that no matter how insulting, the woman is a paying customer, not some personal acquaintance. There’s no need to get into it with her.
I think it was the English-speaking comment
What would your advice in that situation be, then?