Facial hair. My wife and I were discussing this last night. She is pretty much my representative sample of women, and she hates them. In my younger days with her, I would occasionally sport a goatee, or Van Dyke, and she hated it due to the prickly nature of the whiskers. Needless to say it impacted some of our connections once in a while.
So, this simple question for the ladies of the Dope: do you prefer your men with a beard, or just merely tolerate it since your man has other qualities you value? Or, as Olive Oyl once sang, do you prefer a “clean-shaven man?”
My wife hates it when I shave mine off, and always begs me to grow it back. I suspect, though, that it’s primarily because my stubbly face scratches her when we kiss.
I used to dislike them, then my husband grew one. There’s a sort of animal attraction to it, I have to admit, as long as he doesn’t let it get too long. It’s a secondary sex characteristic, after all, right?
My husband has had one for just about our entire 34 years together. Mostly a full beard, but occasionally a goatee (is the the mustache/small beard combo?) and once, due to a job, just a mustache. Thankfully, that job just lasted a couple of months.
I don’t like him with a bare face - it’s just not him.
My dad, on the other hand, once tried to grow facial hair, and it just didn’t suit him. So my answer is that it depends on the person and the facial hair. Well-groomed is a real plus.
One summer after we’d been married a couple years, I grew one during a 2-week vacation, just to see what it would look like, with no plans to keep it.
To say “I grew a beard” during those 2 weeks is a bit of an overstatement. My beard didn’t grow very fast back then. At the end of that time, I had something that was kinda sorta on its way to being a beard.
So I was about to shave it off, when my wife said, “*Noooooo!!! * I like it!!” or words to that effect. So I’ve had one ever since. That was 24 years ago. She still likes it.
But (and there are a few buts) I don’t like the “extreme 5 o’clock shadow” that purports to be a beard but it really isn’t–I mean, either grow one or don’t, kwim? And if you can’t, then give up. You can compensate in other ways.
And I really don’t like the hipster/lumbersexual/Mormon Elder bushy beard. This looks absolutely ridiculous to me. Like the guy forgot to shave for, oh, a year or so. And it looks really bad when there’s no trimming or shaping at all, just an unkempt hedge growing out of your face.
Don’t like the chin-only with no mustache a la Abraham Lincoln (although I believe he was a great President).
I love beards. My husband grew one about 18 years ago (we’ve been married 35 years) and I was pleased as punch when he did. Beards are teh sexy.
OTOH, if he were to shave it off, I doubt I’d mind (unless in his old age he looks like shit without a beard - unlikely, but I guess it could happen). For a while there might even be a certain “new and different lover” excitement - it’s possible, I guess.
But my vote is, he should keep the beard. It’s simultaneously virile-sexy-he-man attractive, and nerdy-intellectual-academic attractive. That’s an impossible combination to beat.
I’ve never liked beards and have always been vocal about it. There’s a few friends in my life that I think look good in beards, but they take super good care of them and keep them trimmed really tidy-like. And they’re not my man so I don’t care.
I have noticed a problem when boys who just aren’t meant to be completely clean-shaven try to be clean-shaven and we end up with stubble on his face and a rash on my face. In that case he probably would have been better off with a beard.
My current boy has a baby face and says he’s never been able to grow a good beard. Long story short he seems to have sprouted a beard right now, and it looks awful, but he doesn’t want to shave it because he’s proud of how well it came in. Ugh. I told him I still want to kiss him even tho he’s got that utter fucking mess going on, so he must be that good.
Patiently waiting for him to get over it so we can go back to his cute little baby face.
Of course, an unkept filthy mess on the face is unattractive but I was assuming a well-kept/groomed beard, just as I expect a man’s head hair to have at least basic grooming going on.
There are some men who either can’t grow beards or don’t look good in them. My late husband had a lot of Native ancestry and have very little beard, and what he had was scraggly and patchy. He looked better without. So obviously I don’t require them, but for men who can grow them I generally prefer them with than without.
Count me in as someone who likes a well-trimmed beard or goatee.
I have some “rules” about mustaches, though, so I don’t fully agree with this statement. I hate mustaches that go over the top lip. If I want to kiss the man, I don’t want a mouth full of hair. ew. I also don’t like really extreme, silly styles like handlebar mustaches. Those will get you laughed out of the room.
I can’t tolerate it. I always feel bad saying this, because there’s nothing inherently wrong with it, and it’s an entirely subjective thing, but my aversion to facial hair is so strong I doubt I could even kiss someone with it. Which isn’t to say men can never be attractive who have it. It’s the tactile experience. I just can’t. I like my men clean cut and clean shaven.
My wife insisted I grow a beard: my face scratched wherever I kissed her. My facial hair grew very fast, and I always had 5 o’clock shadow no matter how late I shaved.
My Wife seems fairly neutral on beards, I kept one for most of the '90s.
I grew back a mustache about three years ago but the chin whiskers are just too gray. I looked like a fat Colonel Sanders.
