Ladies: Does size matter?(No, not THAT)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ll spare you any trite and insecure penis questions and ask an insecure diamond question:
How petty are women when judging one another’s engagement/wedding rings?

I’m planning on popping the question this up-coming week while we vacation in Cape Cod MA.

We picked out the ring together and we decided to have a fairly modest stone (a .6 carot I believe) put in a custom made platinum setting. She hasn’t seen the finished ring yet.

Does size matter? Yes, I know all about the “C’s”(cut, clarity,carot… calcium, or whatever the hell it is.)

But I’m wondering if women really judge each other on ring size? I imagine my would-be fiance will be tickled with it but I’m hoping others won’t think less of her for not brandishing the Hope-Freakin-Diamond. Your thoughts?

2

Listen, buddy-

Anyone who judges the quality of your love/relationship/life/commitment/etc
by the size of the diamond has a major
need to consider their values.

It is the love that matters, not the
size of the rock.

Scotti

(On the other hand, if you aren’t planning
on going through with the whole thing, the
size of the diamond takes on a whole new sense
of importance. After all, with that kind of
emotional trauma in the offing, the bigger the
diamond the better)

3

Ok! When my now-husband proposed to me just over a year ago, I can tell you I was not too concerned with the size of the ring. What IS important (to me anyway) is that it is PRETTY. I would rather have a smaller diamond in a prettier cut and setting than a huge clonker that looks like crap. I don’t know about most women (some are shallower than others) but I can honestly say I’ve never felt like someone was judging me by the size of the diamond on my finger, or that I’ve judged anyone else by the same token. If I had to put my “diamond criteria” in order, they would be:
#1 nice shape
#2 nice setting
#3 size
#4 overall appearance

A further note is that if it is a very big ring, she will be too nervous to wear it!

So there you have it … good luck with your girl … I’m sure she will love WHATEVER you give her.

4

It only matters if you are a superficial diamond nazi. A friend of mine doesn’t like diamonds, she feel they’re boring (I kind of agree with her.) She REALLY likes emeralds, so her ring was a big, natural emerald, with a small diamond on either side, because her fiance insisted. It’s lovely, she adores it. But I suspect that if he handed her a cracker-jack decoder ring and asked her to marry him, she’d adore it just as much.

So, no, it shouldn’t matter.

5

Size does not matter. The sentiment is what counts. The love given with the ring far outweighs the size of the stone.

I am not much of a jewelry person, so the simpler the better.

6

Size makes no differences at all to me. I had a really nice engagement ring and wedding ring but hardly ever wore them. They got in my way at work so instead I ended up getting a simple band to wear a year or so after and kept my good rings for when I was going out somewhere special.

7

When Brian and I were first looking at rings, my request was just for something “simple and delicate.” I cannot stand the large, gaudy rings that go from knuckly to knuckle. The size of the diamond isn’t of much importance to me, just the style of the ring. Actually, I guess size does somewhat matter–I can’t stand the gigantic rocks some women wear. It just appears so ostentatious. And I do suppose that I would want the diamond large enough to be visible, but that’s about it.

My engagement ring adds up to one carat. The center stone is 1/2 carat, and the two side stones are 1/4 each. All my ring contains is these three stones and a band–very simple, delicated, and refined. Much more suited to me. :slight_smile:

My dislikes in rings: bagettes, platinum, diamonds that go all the way around, and wedding ring-engagement ring sets that are welded together. Just my personal tastes there. :slight_smile:

8

To me, size does not matter. My husband and I eloped, and got our rings on the spur of the moment. I personally was not interested in anything huge and gaudy. All I wanted was something that said “married.” I didn’t even have an engagement ring. We got our wedding bands at the pawn shop, $90 for the pair, his and mine. I got my engagement ring last year, for my birthday. It’s a 1/5 carat diamond, on a plain gold band. It looks good with the wedding band.

Walking upright has always been important to me, so I didn’t want any huge rocks to weigh me down. A friend of mine at work has a ring that I swear, makes her list like the Andrea Doria. Freaking HUGE. Good Goddess, I could have purchased a car with the money her SO paid for that thing. But they’re both happy with it, and happy with each other, and that’s all that matters.

9

My daughter just got engaged recently. She does not care for diamonds and dislikes large rings. He had a Native American craftsman make her a beautiful turquoise and coral ring. Tradition says ring should be diamonds and platinum so it lasts forever. I think the love should last, the ring is just a thing. If you like diamonds that’s fine, but judging by size is a lot like the high school student dating someone because everyone else likes them. You’re adults mow, This is your life, what others think does not matter here.

10

You want the ultimate in a romantic ring? Here ya go:

My dad discovered a raw diamond (as in never before cut or touched by the hand of man) while scuba diving way back when he was in the Air Force. He had it cut and set into a wedding ring for my mom. It’s definitely not a huge stone, but it’s very clear and nicely cut.

Top that, romance mongers. hehe

11

I have to go along with the large-diamonds-are-bleecchy crowd. I don’t like diamonds, and if I got engaged and I had to have one, I’d want it to be on the small side. Even if was some other stone that I actually liked, I wouldn’t want a huge, honkin, poke-your-eye-out-if-you-get-too-close kind of thing.

12

all I’ll say is I am a firm believer in the 2-3 month salary guideline. I had an engagement ring, many moons ago, which I returned as we did not get married. round, set in platinum, 1.85 carats, and perfectly clear. damn thing cost more than the car I drive, I was not nervous about wearing it, I loved it, I loved staring at it. But it wasn’t the size or the cost of it I loved, I loved what it symbolized, which, while that aspect of that relationship did not last, I did get two gorgeous kids out of the deal. And they are priceless.

13

Well, a big rock can be pretty if it’s tastefully cut, but mostly those things are cut for maximum sparkle – that is, to call attention to themselves. Tacky, tacky.

Any friend of your honey’s who tells her the rock is too small isn’t much of a friend, and is likely a jealous something-or-other, too. Don’t give people like that another thought.

Catrandom

14

heheh! The Big…Bad,Boody…Daddy, has not authorized copyright permission on topics concerning SIZE.

:wink: But seriously, size makes a difference to some people while others don’t care. When I get a ring someday (…for that special girl out there somewhere) I guess i’d probably spend no more than three grand. It is a fact that people get ripped off on diamonds…so shop around.

…I just got back from ebay…and they have impressive rocks on there for cheap prices. Some of it stolen jewelery. Go check it out…www.ebay.com

Peace!

15

Two to three months’ salary?! Jesus Christ, that’s almost as much as my car.

I gave my wife a quarter-carat diamond flanked by two tiny garnets, and she cried. Good enough for her is good enough for me.

16

The girls I know who got the biggest diamonds for engagement rings ended up divorced. They also had the biggest, most ostentatious weddings. My theory is they were trying to make up for the lack of substance in their respective relationships!

I’m still wearing my lovely clear 1/3 carat diamond and El Cheapo Service Merchandise wedding band we got way back when that was all we could afford. Now that we could afford more, we’ve got more important stuff to spend our bucks on!

17

'Allo, I’m not married or engaged and my boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago; BUT, seriousart, I do know the Four C’s [my brain is full of useless info, it seems]: cut, clarity, carat, and COLOR. Color’s only for diamonds though, [degree of yellowness to colorless-ness].
I too agree with most everyone so far, non-showy stones are best, with one exception: larger, semi-precious stones like tourquoise and topaz don’t bother like huge emeralds and rubies do… Who knows… :slight_smile:

18

Well said, Ellen.
My hands are too little to wear a big honking ring and frankly, I wouldn’t want too.

My engagment ring is a nearly 1 karat nearly flawless (only one boo boo, or whatever, in it.) diamond. It’s a simple solitare. It’s clarity is quite brilliant. I love it for this factor.

When I am sitting in gawd-awful traffic in the burning sunshine, I try to refract the rays of the sun off my ring onto the idiot with the booming car stereo next to me and see if I can give him a few facial burns. Whoop der it is, indeed.
[ ramble]
When we were in marriage classes ( gotta love being a catholic.) there was a girl I went to high school with that had a big honking ring on.Probably 2.5 karats. From across the table YOU could see how foggy the ring was. It actually looked quite shitty and moreso up close. Another girl in this class noticed is well, and we made snide comments to ourselves during a break. Ahhh, what fun. To be so young and catty again!

[raving sidebar hijack]
Lemme pass on a secret. Buy the nicest ( not biggest) you can afford. If you go cheap (the four c’s kind of cheap.) on it this ring, it will bother you for along time.(A friend of ours bought his wife the next price level down ring and nearly 10 years later, he still kicks himself for not going with the ring he really wanted to get her but the extra $300-500 bucks he didn’t think he could swing.) You will never again have the mula to buy a ring (or anything else for that matter) because your money , after you propose, is not your own anymore to blow on stuff. Because then it’s mortgages, car payments,gotta buy a new lawnmower/hose/sprinkler,a mouse sabotaged the transmission on one car and tried to make a retirement home in another, there goes $2500 down to tubes… paying off credit card blunders, oh wait…here comes a kid…oh wait, the car needs new brakes…it never ends. [/rave.]
We had our rings made and my wedding band is just a very basic ring of gold that cost $50. It is all I wear right now because of handling my children all the time.

I have to side with Cristi on the pawn shop rings. It may sound cheezy to you, but I’ve purchased a very fine (and dignified ring) for myself at a pawnshop for a mere pittance of what it is worth. ( It helps that I knew the guy too.)

As for emeralds or other stones as engagement rings. I could not do that. I don’t really care for colored stones ( even if it held great sentimentality to me) because the stone color throws off the entire outfit you are wearing. Jewelry and clothing should always be complimentary, not contrasting, IMHO. I have a lovely sapphire ring, emerald ring and a blue something (dunno what, not topaz and I don’t think it’s an aquamarine) that I never wear because they never look good/match/compliment the outfit. This is why I don’t like those “Mother” rings. Look like little stop lights on your hand. But that is my opinion.

I just don’t get the appeal or reason for platinum. Yeah, it’s one of the most durable substances on earth. What in the hell are you doing with your hands that you need a platinum ring? Rapelling off a mountian, sans gloves? Working a jack hammer? Bare knuckle boxing? White gold works just fine for me.

If I could afford it ( see raving sidebar hijack) I would have my wedding ring and the two other diamond rings I have, made into one band with white and yellow gold. Then it would match whatever watch du jour I wear.

My fashion motto is: Everything goes with diamonds and khaki’s.

Don’t forget to get your wedding bands engraved with something real cutesy. My only condition with my husband was that he NOT have the little endearment done in German (which he speaks). Naturally, after the ceremony and I pull my ring off in the car, I read, " Fur Immer Dein Man." Which is either, " I am a well hung man." or “I leave shoes and underwear randomly throughout the house.”
[ramble]

Good luck and make sure the proposal is really nifty! You have to tell us all the details after you pop the question!

19

seriousart, is the woman a jeweler?

Try for the biggest stone with the most off color. Why? She won’t notice that part at all. A smaller band, makes the stone look bigger. But you can get a pretty large stone if you choose a yellow one. Id buy from a wholesaler, the stone, & have the stone set at a jeweler.

20

I think the question was “Will OTHER women judge the ring by it’s size?” Honestly, to an extent, yes they will. Just like we judge each others clothes, hair styles, and men. OK, maybe not EVERY woman, but the vast majority will, even if they never say it out loud. But WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK??? The opposing side of women is our ability to dismiss other women as catty, shallow, bitches.
So, no problem!