if it truly, truly, truly is just a glance than lingers a touch longer…then I see it as a mild compliment. I look at men, too, and sometimes they catch me looking. 
Disclaimer: I’m a guy.
I’m also a gym rat, and believe that the world needs more athletic women. To that end, I always go out of my way to complement a woman who has a nice physique, saying something like “nice arms” or “great shoulders” in passing. I’ve never once had a woman react negatively to me doing that.
You have this tendency to spout a quick angry reaction without reading the OP.
Do you just do this at the gym, or out on the street or elsewhere? I’m sure some women take it as a nice compliment, but I’m a bit surprised none have been bothered by it, unless you haven’t done it very often. Or some have been bothered by it, you just haven’t noticed their creeped out looks after they’ve walked past you.
Exactly as the OP describes, with no creep factor involved, no salacious leering?
I don’t really have a problem with that. Doubtful I’d even notice, but if I did, I’d just completely ignore it and would make the assumption that the man is just people-watching and I attracted no more attention than anyone else who happened to pass in front of him at that moment.
Everywhere.
Mostly at the local grocers (Sprouts), which gets lots of cross-fit and other fitness folks.
And, no, I’ve never had a negative reaction. Some women just nod, and go on with their business, but most stop to chat, or at least say “thank you.”
Probably helps than I’m pretty harmless looking.
For reasons I don’t quite understand, “nice glutes!” doesn’t seem to go over as well. Perhaps it’s the exclamation mark.
A man can look and then a man can smile. A woman can too; they just never choose to.
And if a man makes sure that his ass never approaches and never gets anywhere NEAR the personal space if the person involved, just looking some… and just smiling some… shouldn’t it all be good?
We’re just guys & you’re a woman who takes care of herself & dresses to the nines. Someone might have looked at you and accidentally thought, “My God, You Really Are Such a Beautiful Woman! WOW!”.
You may like that, you may hate that… but you shouldn’t be calling the cops or Gloria Albright just because a man finds you attractive.
Its not like we find every woman that attactive… or even every 100th woman.
Looking at you from a distance, finding you attractive, and wishing we knew you. I just don’t see the crime here.
Yeah…
Walking the dogs along as commercial avenue early this afternoon, we passed an optician shop, Giving the floor a quick sweep in prep for opening was a young African American woman, haiir cropped in a short Natural, oversized horn-rimmed glasses.
She was wearing a tightish top, buttoned to the throat, with a broad domino black-and-white pattern, like a harlequin. Bare arms. Short black skirt that “pouffed” like a tutu, hem falling about mid-thigh. Knee-high black boots with flat soles, laced up the front with white laces. Clearly not an outfit she’d picked up off the floor and thrown on.
I noticed all this in the few seconds it took to pass by, then had an overwhelming urge to turn around and say something like “WOW! Nice outfit!”
My beard is graying and I have an overall “funky hippie liberal arts professor” look, so I don’t come across as a threat; I occasionally compliment younger women (on their fashion choices, not “great rack!”) and get positive feedback. But today I recalled reading through this thread and kept on walking with my mouth shut.
Was I wrong?
When I was younger, it made me smile.
Now, I assume he needs glasses or his head examined.
It’s actually kind of weird when you realize you have become the invisible old lady.
Depending on the previous events of the day, anything from mildly irritated to mad as hell. I should be able to walk in the open without having to constantly access whether or not I should be immediately prepared to defend myself against a physical attack.
How would you feel is a gay man capable of raping you sent the same message your way?
I’ll never feel that way.
If you do, they need to commit You, because you honestly can never be let out in public unaccompanied.
And if you have a problem with that, you can take it to the Pit where you can rightfully be called what you can’t be here.
“No, no, no. Fire is good. Fire is good. Yes, fire is our friend.
Yes. I’ll show you. You see? You have your cigar?”
If you feel the need for personal insults, you take it to the Pit. Announcing to someone that you are going to call them names if you get the opportunity in the right forum doesn’t get you around the rules. Don’t do this again.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that they’re creeped out by genuine positivity about something other than a woman as a sex object.
Obviously, the majority of comments women get from men on the street are not of the same category as you saying “Wow! Nice outfit!” to somebody who very clearly took some pride in putting the outfit together. I mean, you’d say the same thing to a man in a similarly striking getup, right? But guys who say “hey, beautiful, give me a smile… hey, where are you going, I’m complimenting you!” to women on the street do not say that to me on the street.
I don’t have any problem with that because it’s not necessarily sexualizing me when I’m trying to go about my business. I can think of two instances where I took that sort of comment as a genuine compliment. One involved some construction guys who were doing some work around the office. While leading them to the room where their work was to be done, I bent at the knees and picked up a piece of stray paper on the floor without really stopping or breaking my stride. Guy asked if I’m a dancer. I was actually teaching dance at a studio at the time (side gig), so I just said yes and asked why he wanted to know. He said “you look like you have a dancer’s build”. Another incident was while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy. Guy walks up and asks me if I run. I laughed and told him I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears, why do you ask? He said something about “you look pretty tight” and walked away.
I took both of those as a comment on my general fitness and not necessarily as being sexualized or as a sexual come-on or anything threatening at all. In both cases, the guy immediately dropped it and we both went our separate ways.
I think I take issue with being sexualized without my consent. If I choose to sexualize myself and a man comments on that, well, I think I’m implying consent to objectification. There might be a good reason for me to choose to do that (dance performance for example), but because that isn’t the sum total of who I am as a person, I want to be in control of the choice as to how, when, where, and under which circumstances I express myself in that way.
I don’t think so. I think those are compliments on fashion choices, as you said, so that’s really commenting on a person’s taste and how they think and the effort that went into putting together an outfit and that means you see women as people and not as merely sexual objects. If you’d said, “Nice titties!” that would be sexualizing her or objectifying her without her consent and that is what women hate.
But you will be my BFF if you notice and compliment my shoes.
That’s great for you, but most men reflexively look away from me. Any man who lingered his glance on me would be thinking, at best, “who let this uggo wander the streets during daylight hours?”
No you probably weren’t wrong to keep it to yourself. The OP is setting up a situation that basically never occurs. Comments are almost always rude and/or threatening.