OK since it seems that you are a big fan of nitpicking every.single.word. in an effort to make what you say make sense you’ll note that in post #168 I actually said “in your hand” and not hanging from the wrist. I figured you didn’t need me to repeat that for you once again since you were the person I was addressing in that post.
And extra bonus points for your condescending “nice police officer can explain the difference to you” horseshit. I was using the police as an example of how women are TOLD to carry pepper spray by actual law enforcement officers in direct opposition to what anonymous internet people who think they know how the “law works” say online. If you really don’t understand that and you think I’m using him to settle arguments then you’re worse off than I imagined and that’s pretty bad.
Steophan, I remember that thread. That was the one where you revealed to us that you are unable to distinguish between a weapon display and a weapon brandishment. I suspect it started out as an honest mistake on your part because you thought that brandishing and drawing a weapon are the same thing, but then you just dug your heels in further, and then, well… this. Oh, this.
Please cite where the police tell women to preemptively threaten people with pepper spray, as that is what people where claiming the right to do in that thread, and what I still maintain is unacceptable.
Oh, and I will continue to be condescending towards anyone who can neither keep their arguments straight nor read for comprehension.
Brandishing (or menacing, as it’s more often called) is displaying a weapon in such a way as to make a person feel threatened by it. In the case of a non-lethal weapon, it’s a misdemeanour. Cite.
If I’m doing nothing to you, and you have a weapon in your hand, damn right I have reason to feel threatened.
There are men, especially notable men, who have come to grief by posting erotic pics of themselves, but compared to the numbers of women who have had their private pics exposed and privacy violated the number is minute. Plus, for whatever reason, women seem to have a greater tendency to assemble and transmit erotic galleries of themselves in a variety of poses which offers even more opportunities to trolls.
The advice was offered to women as they are (in almost all cases) what the revenge porn sites are centered around, and what the shaming trolls flock to, eager to contact the associates of the women or to mock them publically as they roll the pics and videos around the net. The advice is equally relevant for men, but in most cases there is little if any appetite for consuming these pics by net trolls. The risk of exposure considering the driving forces behind these sites is much higher for women than for men.
But OK your point is granted. l should have said “people” not women in the OP and related advice warnings.
Earlier in this thread you used “the world around me” as y0ur cite but I can’t cite a police led program I participated in as a cite? Are you serious? Do you always use different rules for yourself than you do for others or is it just these crazy arguments about men and women that make you dig in your heels and behave this way?
Either way I’m done trying to have an actual conversation with you. You seem hellbent on “winning” over actual understanding so feel free to write “I won another internet argument today” in your little book of accomplishments or go crow about it on the GB or whatever you do to celebrate these things because I’m sure you’ll take my desire to not engage you anymore as you winning. Fine. You won. A brick wall would be easier to discuss things with since it only sits there unmoving instead of being unmoving and playing silly semantics/nitpicking games.
You feel that a woman carrying pepper spray in her hand on her way to the car is brandishing a weapon, good for you. Your right to not feel threatened by the pepper spray passing by you is more important than her feeling safer for having done what she’s been told to do to try to be a tiny bit safer. Go you, you scored one for men everywhere. Have fun!
Woohoo you used “reading for comprehension” now you just need either “perfect master” or “fighting ignorance” b[SIZE=1]ecau[SIZE=1]se with your [SIZE=1]previous commitment to pure [SIZE=1]nitpickery and the free spac[SIZE=1]e you’ll have yourself a [SIZE=1]Straight Dope bingo! Cong[SIZE=1]rats, you’ve become [SIZE=1]what you make fun of over [SIZE=1]at the GB.[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
Oh well, having skimmed through the pages I might as well ad my 2 cents.
The opening premise is factually correct, but is also overly simplistic and puts unwarranted blame on the victim. You might as well say to someone “If you don’t want to be in a car accident don’t go out in a car”.
People in a relationship are usually not thinking about what might happen if this all ends badly, they’re in the moment. So some people take photos of themselves or their partner that they wouldn’t show the kids. Both parties get a kick out of it, no harm no foul.
After a break up, to then put those photos up on a public board is a very low act, adding contact details for the person is even lower. Maybe they were badly hurt, wanted revenge, wanted the other party to feel as upset and embarrased as they did, but those are reasons not justification. Maybe the person who put them up thought the other person deserved it, but the argument “If she didn’t want me to post naked photos of her on the web she shouldn’t have let me take them” is ridiculous.
Part of being in a relationship is trust. Sharing bank accounts, sharing a living space, secrets etc etc. A relationship break up usually (not always) ends up with that trust being broken, often very badly, by at least one of the parties.
If it gets really nasty, that’s what laws are for.
Let’s get down to the meat of this then. Why do you feel only women need to take precautions? And you still haven’t stated how women can know, beyond the shadow of all doubt, whether or not they can trust their partner. How much time in a relationship do you think a woman should spend in a relationship before she decides to become intimate with someone? And, if she decides to become intimate with her partner, doesn’t it stand to reason that she should then be able to trust her partner enough to indulge in boudoir photography with him?
Again, is this something only women should take precautions with? And, if not, why did you only address women in your OP?
In a way, it is a similar risk because you are leaving your entire identity open when you leave your purse in someone’s care. Heck, you may even have some compromising photos in your wallet. So, please tell us how well a woman should know a man before she leaves her purse in the same room with him alone? Or should women not trust men with this at all?
But, in your OP, you chose to name women as the sole agents committing this particular faux pas, even though men are also passing on similar photos. So, you are basically telling all women that they are not to trust men in any situation, no matter how long you have known them, is this correct? If not, please outline your guidelines in regards to trustworthiness in relationships. Or should we just get a f’ing crystal ball?
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And not a peep out of you if your ex of many years puts those pix up on a disreputable website with all of your personal info in tow. And not a peep out of you if some ass ogling the pix on the website shows up at your address and decides to assault you. Because, it’s all your fault. You shouldn’t have trusted the man you loved.
Rather than try to get this thread back on topic–something I’m not even sure is remotely close to being possible–I’m closing it. All it is by now is a good combination of heated bickering, sniping comments, and potshots at other posters.
If anyone has any problems with anyone else here, take it to the Pit. If you want to continue this discussion, take it to the Pit.