Ladies, that first Christmas present.

I was curious about this question as I was mulling over possibilities. This may have been covered by another thread, but since I am on the iPhone , searching can be a bit of a pain.

So with that in mind, I have always concidered Christmas gift giving to be in proportion to the length of a relationship. The longer a relationship the more in tune with your SO’s wishes and desires, even to the extreme of not giving them anything if that’s the case.

But a brewing or nascent relationship has rocks and schoals that must be navigated, to weather the early stormy days of expectations and desires. Frankly in my opinion, it’s the little things that set the tone for the future.

So with that in mind, I am looking for opinions on what strikes the balance between proportional time in grade for the relationship , yet one that’s likely to be unique enough to satisfy the reciever.

I expect that you are not telepathic enough for one particular individual, but I thought I would lay out the question and see what the range of ansewers are, hey I might even use some of the suggestions.

At this point, it’s an accedemic exercise, as I am still single and with christmas only a few weeks away, this question may be moot, but next year is a whole new ball game, and like a boy scout, I like to be prepared just in case :slight_smile:


Dude here. I’ve been dating someone for 3.5 months, so I’m posting mostly to subscribe, since this question is obviously of burgeoning importance to me.

With that said, after three months, I have a fairly good idea of what her tastes are, and, most importantly, I know what kind of perfume she likes. I also know that her financial situation is currently a bit tighter than mine, so I’m not going to do anything extravagant.

I figure I’m pretty well covered by 1) A bottle of perfume, 2) something inexpensive/handmade that’s more romantic and meaningful, and 3) something for her dog.

Female here. If the relationship is still “brewing and nascent,” I would prefer to receive a gift that is sentimentally meaningful but not expensive - for example a small photo frame with picture(s) of both of you, a DVD or a book that has meaning in your relationship, or something related to your SO’s favorite hobby or collection.

Girl here.

My personal preference is for a small token of genuine affection / connection. Big hits with me have been inexpensive but thoughtful things that were generally in reference to something we had done together, or something we both thought was funny, or tickets to go do something we’d both enjoy. Things like:

  • Framed photo of us from a previous outing
  • Goofy fridge magnets
  • Tickets to see a favorite band at a small venue (as in, $15 cover – not one of those $100+ stadium shows); tickets to see comedian
  • Action figures from favorite shows (Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Futurama, respectively)
  • Pretty much anything from Archie McPhee

Stuff like that. If the gift can reflect an inside joke or just something unique to your relationship, you’re aces. Anything expensive early on makes me uncomfortable, and anything blandly generic, while I’ll appreciate it, won’t make much of an impression. Teddy bear? Ick. Giant squid whisk for my kitchen? AWESOME.

I was thinking about this too. I’m in a kinda-sorta relationship with a woman over the last eight months, more time than previous posters but again its not boyfriend/girlfriend but almost there, we go on dates do romantic stuff, basically in a heavily romanticized FWB situation right now but I digress…

Anyway in my situation the ladyfriend in question loves getting flowers, but one common problem we’ve had is that whenever I give her flowers there’s never a vase handy and she always has to improvise.

There is a craft store near my apt that basically lets you make your own pottery, paint it, then they glaze/bake it for you. I was thinking of making her a vase, painting it bright, vibrant colors like she likes, then going out and filling it with her favorite flowers. Thoughtful? Creepy? I know every woman’s mileage varies.

Photo in a photo frame is a good idea too, because her and I were at my best friend’s wedding and had a GREAT time together. The tricky thing is to track down people who took our picture… :dubious:

Something inexpensive and quirky is best, I think. Of course, I probably shouldn’t be answering since I’m all about time and attention and not really big on gifts.

As a woman of varying mileage, I think this is a great idea. Personally, I’d get an even bigger kick out of going with you and making the vase as a date, and then getting the result as my gift, but I know some women who would feel that makes it less of a present somehow. You’d know better what she’d prefer.

FWIW, I’m also a big fan of experiences vs. stuff, quirky vs. expensive, and ninjas vs. not-ninjas.

I’m in my late 20s and I feel like all the couples around me in stable relationships spend at the very least $100-200 on Christmas and birthday gifts for each other. Everyone feels pressured to get something nice AND individual. Pottery classes, artsy opal earrings, guitars, whiskey glasses, a tea set - all of these have been gifts my friends have given to their SO, and all of them were not cheap. Then again, all these couples are in long-term relationships, so maybe that’s the difference.

Girl here.

Last year was our first Christmas together. We had been together about 8 months at that point. Money was tight for both of us, and I agree that new relationships and gift-giving can be stressful.

I had drooled over the onyx Scrabble set at Barnes & Noble, he suggested we buy it together as our gift to each other.

In addition, we each bought the other a few small gifts (less than $30).

I had mentioned that I wanted to have a charm bracelet someday. He bought me my first charm, a musical note, because he said I had brought music in to his life (I sing to him sometimes while I give him a back massage).

He also got me a Christmas ornament, so I’d always have something from our first Christmas together. It was a pretty burgundy heart.

His simple gifts made me so happy I cried tears of joy.

Sappy, but oh so very true.

Sentiment will get me every time.

Female here. I’d be totally bowled over by a gift like that.

Totally agree with Beadalin, though I am the sort who likes teddy bears.

Been seeing a guy for three months myself and this will be the first Christmas I have ever been in any kind of relationship at the holiday time so I’m planning something simple but that he’s mentioned in the last while as a present and maybe something quirky too.

Thanks for the suggestions, I am thinking of a generic trip to a spa for her and a girlfreind,but for her I am thinking of getting her a die cast model car, either a bently or a rolls royce cause she likes those.


This is exactly why I was always careful to break up with whomever I was dating just before Christmas when I was unmarried. The problems that can arise from buying Christmas gifts are amazing, not to mention expensive.

I would totally swoon over a vase a man had made for me. It’s the time you spend thinking about it and picking it out and even making it that makes it special. And if she doesn’t think that way, you don’t want her.

When my husband buys gifts for me, he tells me he mentally goes through my day and tries to think of ways to make it easier and more pleasant. I suggest trying that – what does she do? where does she go? What would help her do it better and make her happier doing it, while thinking of you at the same time?

Female, been dating the current boyfriend for about 3 months, I’d love this kind of gift. Extremely thoughtful and appropriate. My birthday is a week before Christmas so my guy is gonna be hit by a double whammy. Perhaps I should steer him towards this thread… :stuck_out_tongue:

I vote make something.

I’m paying close attention to this thread and taking careful notes.

In the past I’d always gone whole hog, but I always met my GFs in spring or summer, so we were pretty well established by the holidays. But this year, if I get a girlfriend before the holidays, it’s probably going to be today or not at all. If all goes well, then… I have no idea what to get her.