I’ve gone on a second date with the woman I mentioned in this thread. Let’s call her “Nicky.” We went to see a Chick Flick, which was just as formulaic and predictable as most Chick Flicks, but it did have some funny moments…I digress.
I know more about her, she seems nice but I’m still unsure if there’s long-term potential there. I mean, there was a woman that I was sort-of-seeing but not really dating a few months ago (call her “Jenny”) and we had great chemistry, a real sense that we were kindred spirits and all that. I’m not feeling that yet with Nicky; now, that’s understandable, since I knew Jenny as a friend for a few years and I’ve only known Nicky from two dates so far. I’m not getting impatient with it, I know sometimes it takes some time and experience to develop anything worth writing home about.
Here’s the trouble: Christmas is coming up, and I’m not sure what would be an appropriate gift for her. We’re probably going to go out again at least once before Christmas and she seems pretty agreeable with the idea of exploring the possibilities of a relationship so far. I wonder if there are just too many differences between us to form something deeper and longer-lasting. I can’t imagine her listening to the music I like (I can’t imagine her going to see Skinny Puppy or Shadows Fall or going into Hot Topic to browse CDs - we don’t have much in the way of music stores around here), I know she doesn’t really like the movies I like (she says she doesn’t like horror movies, and she definitely likes Chick Flicks - she leaned over while the Chick Flick trailers were playing before the Chick Flick and told me that she pretty much wants to see all of them…all of the various Chick Flicks, I mean), she’s not into video games at all, etc., and while I know that most of that stuff is rather superficial, it all kind of adds up to a disconnect of sorts. It’s one thing if you don’t like someone else’s favorite things, another thing entirely if you can’t even fathom why someone would like those things.
On the other hand, she is very nice, charitable, has a nice smile, fairly decent sense of humor and a generous nature. I have little doubt that she is a genuinely warm, caring person, someone that might make a worthwhile companion throughout life. We haven’t touched on matters of personal faith, but I get the feeling that might be the deal breaker if she is a Christian and finds out that I’m a former Christian turned somewhat-bitter-agnostic.
Anyway, all of that is of course mostly unknown. For all I know, she might in fact share a lot of my likes. She might be an agnostic, too. Who knows, right? But that’s not the point…
The point is that I don’t consider us a couple yet; we’re still kind of exploring that possibility, you know? But what kind of gift are you supposed to get for someone that you’ve spent a grand total of 5 hours with, counting a movie, and whom you may or may not end up dating? Do you even get a gift for them in that situation? Or is just a card enough?
The thought even came to mind that maybe I would get her something small, and if it turns out that she did get a gift for me, I’d have the gift on hand to give to her in return, whereas if she didn’t get a gift for me, I would just return the thing I bought for her gift.
Do I sound neurotic enough?
Also, you can put it in a pretty wine bag, or give her a bottle and some wine charms, or something.