Black—I’m 43 and have never “grown out of it.” Never for a moment regretted not having kids.
I’d be a terrible mother—why not leave the child-rearing to those who WANT to do it? More power to 'em, but I have never wanted to be a Mommy.
I don’t want kids, and the man I’m dating doesn’t want kids either, and of course I’d marry him anyway. Plenty of people with little to no parenting skills and little to no desire to have anything other than a baby (meaning not a toddler, not a child and certainly not a teen) procreate everyday just because they feel they have to. I can have a completely meaningful relationship with someone and want to marry them because I want to have a loving and permanent bond with them, not a promise that we’ll pop out some youngins.
Come to think of it . . .
I don’t even have any friends who want children. Most of my friends are in their 30’s and 40’s, some married. Having babies just isn’t part of the program for any of us. MagicSilverKey, maybe you should move to Boston. Seems like the pickings are pretty slim where you are.
(and thanks Eve.)
Since I have no desire to have children (I dig kids, just not into the mothering thing) it actually would be preferable. Then I wouldn’t have to go under the knife and get a tubal ligation.
Neither my roommate nor I ever wants children, and we’re both women (last time I checked). So, yeah, I’d get involved with a guy who couldn’t have kids & didn’t want kids in a heartbeat.
Your WAG about the midwest could be pretty accurate; I’m on the West Coast.
Lizard - as has been mentioned it is both simpler and safer for the male to have the operation done in the first place and to have it reversed should he/she/they decide that’s what they want, as well, IIRC. Better success rate of reversal than TL.
MSK, I too must express complete flabergastation that you’ve never met a woman who didn’t want children. Amongst my peers, the only ones who seem to really want kids are lesbians. Hmmm. Maybe I’m the one who needs to get out more often…
But really, NONE of the straight women I know have expressed even the slightest interest in having children any time soon, if ever. Most are adamantly opposed to the idea. Then again, it may be geographical; I live in SF.
sliv
So where do all these kids come from? Gosh, you see them all over.
I think you are glossing over the term “anytime soon” in your post. Many or most of these women will one day decide to have children.
While on the subject, I would suggest that for many women of childbearing age, the comparison between themselves and their contemporaries with children is favorable to themselves. They have active lifestyles and careers, and little children are a drag. But for women of 55, 60 and older, the comparison starts to switch around. Children have grown up and left the house, and its nice to have them come around every once in a while. Of course, by then it’s too late. It’s conceivable that many women change their minds as they begin to approach these ages.
My mother often asks me who’s going to take care of me when I’m an old woman. I haven’t thought of a witty reply yet but the gears are turning. The point is, there is no justification for having and raising children halfheartedly for the sole purpose of having an adult relationship with them. Talk about unwise parenting decisions.
This doesn’t make sense to me. You’re saying that even though you may not have maternal feelings at 30, those feelings will develop later on? That’s awfully presumptious, and I don’t think it’s true for most women. If you’re sure you don’t want kids now, I doubt you will want them later.
Count me in the camp that does not want kids. I agree with the posters who are shocked that the OP doesn’t know women that don’t want children. By the way, I’m in the midwest.
My sister is 39, newly divorced, and never wants children. She had a TL at age 25 and has not had a day of regret.It truly is a lifestyle choice. I, being male, would jump at the chance of spending the rest of my life with a woman who I loved and who felt it was not nessescery to fofill her womanhood by becoming a mother. please for give spelling
I suspect a woman who wouldn’t have a relationship with this man probably wants children herself. Is that so wrong? Would he want a relationship with a woman who already has children? Probably not. Neither choice is so wrong on its own, it’s just not likely to be a good match if their desires are so different
And about vasectomy - I’ve been waiting almost ten years for my husband to get the one he promised. When did he promise it? When he didn’t want to sign the forms for me to get my tubes tied ( I was willing to have it done along with the delivery, but I’m not willing to go through a third operation) because he wasn’t sure he didn’t want more !
Im a really fertile guy. I wonder if it would be easier to get women for sex if I weren’t so fertile.
I’m not claiming that any of this is not true. What I don’t like is the attitude of some people that “it’s only fair.” Since when is wanting someone to sterilize themself “fair”? Even if I was sure I never wanted kids, I would never even ak my SO to have a surgical procedure that she felt the least bit uncomfortable about. I might bring up the subject, and if she was opposed to it, I’d drop the idea. I think to behave otherwise is rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful of the other person’s most intimate functions and feelings. That’s how I would see any woman who behaved towards me in this manner.
Hey, I just thought of another way to put it:
My Body, my Decision!
No sh*t man.
'And about vasectomy - I’ve been waiting almost ten years for my husband to get the one he promised. When did he promise it? When he didn’t want to sign the forms for me to get my tubes tied
The idea that one needs a permission slip from their mate to have surgery is just evil.
Well, I just got married to a man who loves me regardless. I unfortunatly, will probly have many problems conceiving. We spoke about it at length that I may not be able to have children and wether that will effect his life dramatically. I am also against going to major lengths to have child when there are so many children out there without a home.
Chris and I came to a decision that we will try for a few years and if to no avail we will persue our adoption options.
Also, if I am able to conceive, once we are done babymaking, he has absolutly positively refused to have a vesectomy. I think I can convince him after only ONE baby to sniop away…heehee
a vascectomy is not irreversible, and it can actually grow back. my dad got a vascectomy after the 4th child was born, but 7 years later, oops! mom’s preg-o again!
so, just be careful, kids 
Annie,
Just to clarify- it wasn’t a permission slip. The law required two things for a tubal ligation I had to give written consent 30 days before the surgery and my signature had to be witnessed. The doctor was insistent that my husband be the witness,presumably to head off the possibility of a baseless lawsuit.
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- At 31, no marriage -n- no kids, still not much interest, but I figured I would eventually.
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- I will note that I have heard many people say that they’d never get married and/or that they’d never have kids. Many of those same people have both today. A lot of people who shouldn’t, have them. - MC
Sorry, I think the geography thing is bullshit. I live in the Midwest and I know plenty of women who don’t want kids (or to marry). Now, it’s probably true that in a Midwestern small town, the average child might grow up exposed a heavier dose of “family values” than in some other places, but that doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way.
Of course, I do think people who don’t want kids are in a minority, wherever you are. It’s probably a little harder to find a like-minded mate, if a mate is desired. However, my BIL managed just fine.
FWIW, I’ve never thought the “gulf” between we “breeders” and people who didn’t want kids was all that great.
I find it interesting that you went from a hypothetical question in OP to an exasperated “Where is is written that a man has to procreate!” two replies later. LOL