A+
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease honey, won’t you just give it a try? For me? It’s my birthday next week.”
“For the last time I’m not sucking another man’s dick, now will you please leave me alone while I try and watch the game!”.
And now friend has told the internet - trust doesn’t exactly abound in this friendship clearly.
This guy would be better off without your friend.
Nope. It happened to me and though I was very surprised with this particular bloke, it didn’t make him any less attractive and made me feel closer to him (partly as he claimed not to have told anyone else).
But what woman hasn’t fooled around with another woman? I think it gets hammered in so much that women’s sexuality is “fluid” and men are either gay or straight, even from men themselves (gay and straight), it’s easy to forget guys experiment, too. Or that they want to experiment, but are afraid of admitting it. And because of this, it makes sense that women would be more open about it, and that guys would keep it secret, making it a vicious circle. Speaking of circles, all the gay goings on at the local all-boys school only came out years after I graduated high school.
As for the woman it sounds like she is overreacting, but who knows what else she knows or sense about him? Or maybe she is just mad at herself because she thought she was open-minded and finds that this is a turn off. SO maybe she is a bit homophobic. Or maybe she would react the same way if he admitted to having slept with her best friend once in college or having drank urine once in college or a number of things that she should be able to get over, as they are in the distant past, but can’t.
Thank you, **Diosa **and everyone else who expressed the same sentiment. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels completely betrayed whenever stuff I tell a lover on the pillow becomes gossip. To me that’s a one strike, we *obviously *have nothing in common, do not pass GO, you’re out offense.
I’m with the rest of the ladies who say he’s a catch, and she’s some kind of closet homophobe.
I’ve dated a couple of guys who wanted to “experiment,” but as straight guys weren’t comfortable unless there was still a woman in the room. I was like “ARE YOU KIDDING!” I had a great time dating those guys. So obviously I would be fine with a guy who tried a BJ once, 20 years ago in college.
It saddens me that he confided something so personal to her and she has to be a freak about it. He sounds like a great - and straight - dude.
- Your friend is not as gay-friendly as she’s convinced herself (and you) she is. If she were gay-friendly, or even gay-neutral, she would not care about his sexual history.
- I (mostly straight female) am currently messing around with a guy who is bisexual. It’s awesome frankly because I like doing things to my SO’s bum. And he’s already done that so I don’t have to convince him. Win win.
I wouldn’t dump a guy for having a gay experience years ago. Or yesterday, for that matter. I might be a bit peeved if he lied about it first and told me later, because of the lie. But not because of the gay.
He sounds like the answer to the earth’s problems! The eighth wonder of the world!
Another Barak Obama!
Another Harry Potter!
Are you serious???
“He sounds like a great dude???”
All you know about him is that he had sex with another guy, and then told his gf about it. And he’s a *great *dude? Nothing like ‘nothing wrong with what he did’ ? He’s gone automatically to great?
Why not slow down, and get some info before passing judgment on either of them?
As to the OP, I don’t think it’s ‘a somewhat normal thing.’ I think it’s an ‘unnormal’ thing, using the definition of the word normal. You can be gay-friendly, if that’s important, and still not want that past in an SO. I consider myself gay-friendly, in that I don’t hate gay people anymore than I hate the rest of the world, and, yet, I don’t condemn the female in the OP because she is having second thoughts.
He can’t be too gay-friendly himself if he is hiding his past, and, when it comes to light, blames it on drunkenness, and averring that it won’t happen again.
Also, I agree with the previous poster who senses that the story of his gay activity is unfinished…
Best wishes,
hh
Agree.
hh
What I know about him, aside from one experimental indiscretion, is this, from the OP:
So, yeah, the OP says he’s a great guy, I said he sounds great, too. Is that such a hard jump? Or maybe you’re a bit hung up on a little diddling he did once, TWENTY years ago.
All I can say is, when I ask a woman 'what do I have to do to get a date with you" this wouldn’t be the answer I expected.
Regards,
Shodan
As someone who was with a man who admitted to full-on sex with another man (which he described as a pity-fuck and for which the guy had to get him stoned first) I can definitively say that my reaction would be more along the lines of curiosity as to how it went, but no judgment and certainly no wanting out. The guy in question in my case said it answered him for good the question he’d always had about whether or not he was bisexual. He decided he was NOT.
Lady in question is overreacting or has other reasons to question the relationship and is using this as an excuse.
Barak Obama/Harry Potter?
is there a scene where Severus Snape walks in on them and joins in?
From a gay male’s view; As much as I would like to join the crowd and say ‘she shouldn’t have a problem with that!’, I’d be somewhat hypocritical if I did. Because I honestly can’t say how’d I’d react if a boyfriend of mine said he’d been with a woman in the past. I probably wouldn’t break up with them just over that, but I’m pretty sure I’d feel strange about it.
Though as mentioned repeatedly in this thread, people do experiment (at least from what I hear, I never had any desire to do so) so I’d hope I’d get over it pretty quickly.
Whereas I’m the opposite - I’ve dated bi guys who’ve been with women (sexually and in relationship) and it doesn’t bother me at all. Why should it? Is there something wrong with women? The fact that I don’t want to sleep with them doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate that best part of half the population of the world does.
But isn’t it rather rare for a gay guy to have NEVER tried sex with women? I guess there could be guys so sure of their sexuality that they never have to prove to themselves that women don’t work for them. But most of them?
I don’t think it’s THAT rare. I’ve never had sex with a woman and I lots of gay men I’ve known have been in the same boat.
I don’t know off hand, but there are polls about such things. In any case, I can only speak for me and my history and potential reactions.
I’m not a lady but I know I wouldn’t date a guy who’d been with another guy.