what did one candle say to the other?
are you going out tonight?
HAAAA! i used to loooooooove telling that one when i was little…
There were three men traveling together in a remote rural area when their car broke down.
They left thier disabled auto and found a farmhouse. They knocked on the door and a farmer answered the door.
They explained their plight to the farmer and asked if he could possibly give them shalter until the next day when they could get a mechanic.
The farmer agreed and even asked them to join he and his family for dinner.
The three were very pleased and gladly accepted.
Befoire going to the dining room the farmer said " I have something to tell you that you need to know". He went on to explain that his son was born without any ears and was very self conscious about his appearance. He asked the three to please not say anything about the boy not having any ears.
They agreed and went in and sat down and began eating the meal with the family.
After a short time the son saw on of the three men staring at him and yelled " what you lookin at"?
The man said " well son I was just admiring your hair. You have a beautiful head of hair, and if you brush it and shampoo it and take care of it regularly, you will have nice hair all of your life".
The boy said OK and they went back to eating.
Befor long the boy caught the second man staring at him and the boy yelled " what you lookin at?"
The second man said " well son I was admiring your teeth. You have beautiful white teeth and if you brush them regularly and floss and take care of them, you will have beautiful teeth all of your life".
The boy finally said OK and they returned to their eating.
Then the boy caught the third man looking at him and the boy again yelled " what you lookin at?"
The third man said " well son I was just admiring your eyes. You have nice bright and clear eyes, and I hope you take care of them because you are never going to be able to wear glasses.
Knock Knock.
(reply)*
I’m a pile-up.
laugh uncontrollably**
Heres one!!! Its the best Knock Knock joke you’ll ever hear(continue with the build up for a few mins.
Ok, now you start it
The Victim says “Knock Knock”
You say “Who’s There?”
walk away laughing
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it…
A little boy and his dad go to the mall and the boy gets lost. An old lady comes up to him and asks if hes lost. The boy says yah and then the old lady says “So whats your dad like?” and the little boy replies:
Pussy and Beer.
A guy and gal are going to bed on the night of their wedding. They are both virgins and have never “done it” before. The man takes off his shoes and socks and his wife says
“Wow! Whats wrong with your toes?”
The man replies, “When I was young I had Toelio.”
He takes off his pants and his wife says, “Whats wrong with your knees?”
The man replies, “When I was young, I had the Neesles.”
They turn the light off and go at it. Suddenly, the wife turns on the light and says:
“Don’t tell me that when you were young, you caught SmallCox!!!”
hehehehehehehe