The Make Me Laugh thread

There is no point to this thread other than to make the previous poster laugh his or her ass off. It can be anything: high-brow political humor, fart jokes, poop stories…this thread should be the one-stop shop to cheer up anyone who’s had a bad day. So g’head, make me laugh. :smiley:


Yay! I love a good sense of humor. Sexier than a six-pack. Here goes my fav joke of all time:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame fell from his bell tower and died. The Abbot put out a notice looking for a replacement. The very next day a guy came in and said, “Hey Abbot, I’m the Quasimodo’s brother, let me ring the bell, you don’t even have to pay me, I feel like it’s kind of my duty.” He even looks just like his brother. So the Abbot hires him. The very next day, the guy falls off the tower and dies too. All the crowd’s gathered around him and the Abbot realizes he never even got his name. The constable asks him, “Abbot, who was this man?” And the Abbot says,
“I don’t know, but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
So the Abbot puts out another notice for another bellringer and the next day another guys shows up, in a wheelchair. He’s got no arms and no legs, and he says “Abbot I really really need this job. You don’t have to pay me, just give me food and board.” The Abbot says, “How do you expect to ring the bell like that?” And the guy shows him that he can grab the clapper in his teeth and ring it beautifully. The Abbot hires him. The next day (surprise!) he falls off the bell and dies. This time the constable asks the Abbot again, “Who was this man, Abbot?” And the the Abbot replies,

“I don’t know, but his face sure rings a bell.”

Thank you! Try the veal! I’ll be here all week!

I’m not going to even attempt to put a joke or some witty saying here. To get you to laugh, I will simply post this link to something I think is incredibly funny. Once you are there, click “Watch this movie” and let the hilarity ensue.


This video is a hoot :smiley:

Sorry about the popups.

Ah, yes. Ninjakitty.

The Classic: Insanity Test

How do you make an 80-year-old woman yell “Fuck!”

Get another 80 year-old woman to yell “Bingo!”

  1. Somewhere around Denver is a white Ford Bronco with the license plate “IMNOTOJ”. It appears to be the right model & year, too. Almost made me drive off the highway when I saw it a few weeks ago.

  2. How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice? Screw her in the ass, then wipe on the drapes.

In French, but needs no translation. The movie takes a little while to load properly.

One day a man and his Priest went fishing. After a few hours the Priest gets a nibble and begins to reel in a huge fish. Forgetting who and where he was, the man exclaimed, “Ha! You sure got that son-of-a-bitch!”.
The Priest gasps and looks at the man in anger. Thinking fast the man replys that the fish was actually called a “son-of-a-bitch fish”. Satisfied with that the Priest lands the fish. Relieved that the Priest believed him, they head back to the church.
Upon arriving, they receive notice that the Pope was on his way there to surprise them with a visit. Excited, the Priest tells the man to prepare the fish for the pope. Well, the man is quite busy so he asks a maid to help him clean the fish. Instructing her to also call it a Son-of-a-bitch fish because of his verbal slip up earlier with the Priest.
The Pope arrives and is escourted into the dinning room by the priest. Within minutes the Man and the maid arrive with the freshly cooked fish. They all wait patiently as the Pope begins to taste it. Absouletly loving the meal, the pope thanks them all. Never had he had such a fine meal he claimed.
“You’re welcome. I helped cleaned the Son-of-a-Bitch!” the maid blushed.
“And I cooked the Son-of-a-Bitch!” the man replied.
“And I caught the Son-of-a-Bitch” the Priest said proudly.
At that the Pope gasps and stares at them all. He then leans back in his chair, puts his feet on the table, throws off his hat and says, “Ya know, you fuckers are alright.”

Outside links? Bah.

Just picture a * raccoon driving a car!*

Funny, huh?

I had to replace my toilet seat today, don’t ask why.

So I get to the checkout and the girl there kind of laughs and says, “I hope you are a good aim”.

I said, “No not really, would you like to give me some lessons?”

Q: How many EMO kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 2. One to screw it in and the other to write a song about the bulb they just flew away.

A penguin eating a hotdog

And slowly the sheep turned to eachother and glared.

Thanks for that; pure brilliance.

I was in the mood for a nasty snack, so I walked over the 7-11 for Coke, Hot Beef Jercky, and Lays. The place was super busy, do to about 11 people buying gas and there being only one cashier.

Slightly harried, she looked at my purchase choices and ask, “Do you have gas?”

Replied I…,

“Not yet.”

She had a real purdy laugh.

Them little words are the eysiest to fuck up when your’e high

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Thank you thank you, great crowd, fun times, tell your mother…

Two boys of grammar school age were to be in a class play. Each of the boys had small lines to recite. The first was to say, “Oh, fair maiden, I have come to snatch a kiss, and fill your soul with hope.” The second was to say, “Hark! A pistol shot!”

The night of the play came to find the two boys very nervous, knowing that their parents were in the front row of the audience. When it came time for the first boy to speak, being very nervous, he said, “Oh, fair maiden, I have come to kiss your snatch and fill your hole with soap.” The second boy, alarmed at this, cried, “Hard! A shistol pot! A shit pot! A pit shot! A cow shit!..Bullshit! I shouldn’t have been in the goddamned play in the first place!”

That was the world’s most hilarious joke when I was in Grade 4.

This Starbucks comercial is funny.
So is this Bush/Kerry video.

I love that commercial. But is it just me, or does the lead singer of Survivor look an awful lot like Jack Black? :eek:

Yeah, the singer does look and act a lot like Jack Black in the comercial.