Latest on Bin Laden?

What’s the latest news on the whereabouts/condition of Osama Bin Laden?
I haven’t heard anything on him for weeks now. Any recent news?

Nope.

One of his wives was quoted one or two days ago as saying she hadn’t seen him since 9/11, and that he has kidney trouble.

It’s just a guess, but I think ol’ Osama is dead. Maybe he’s in a caved-in cave, or maybe he was in a truck that got pulverized by a passing F-18. Maybe his kidneys gave up the ghost and so did he. All in all, his silence is deafening. I think he’s roasting in the inner circle right now.

I think we are facing a scenario in which he may be dead but the news will be delayed for security reasons.

After his death is established, there might be hostage grabbing or rush of suicide missions.

I know that some doctors were very confident that he had kidney issues in the last video. Some reports out of China say that he diverted portable dialyses equipment to Afghanistan before hitting the road.

Apparently, our intelligence in central Asia is soooo bad that we don’t know squat about where he is. Odd are about 25% that he is dead to about 75% that he was smuggled into pakistan. Pakistan is where the Al Qaeda are refreshing troops for the ground battles recently.

Excellent diversion.

In another thread which I think is now lost, Q the M gave us a little bit ‘o schoolin’ on the type of dialysis that Osama may need to undergo.

If I remember correctly, he may not actually need a dialysis machine; there’s another process where the blood is pumped with a hand crank and filtered through a plastic bag full of Pop Rocks or something. Okay, I’m making that part up. Could you refresh my memory, Qadgop? (By the way, there is no letter “u” in either “Qadgop” or “al-Qaeda.”)

I’m rambling here because this week I sat in on a hearing where the head of the Indian Health Service, Dr. Michael Trujillo, was being grilled by Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell about dialysis. One interesting thing that American Indians and Osama bin Laden have in common is that it’s a total pain in the ass for both to get access to dialysis machines,. As a result, some patients on a reservation in Montana have to make a 360-mile round trip to the hospital in Billings, three times a week I think the Senator said.

Dr. Trujillo was asked to explain why a dialisys machine which was specifically requested for the Northern Cheyenne health facility by the Senator was then subsequently taken away. Dr. Trujillo said that while they could keep the machine around, the IHS couldn’t afford to staff a nephrologist and the two highly trained technicians needed to keep the machine clean and running. Apparently (obviously?) it is very dangerous to use one of these things improperly. That, I presume, would include hooking one up to a Honda generator in a dirty-ass cave which is being pummeled by B-52s.

The people behind the gizmo seem to be the most important part of it. I wonder if we’ve got our eyes open for those sorts of folks over there in Afghanistan.

Latest I’ve heard is that sometime ago a CIA drone plane was overflying Afghanistan when it spotted a group of men. One of the men was significantly taller than the rest (bin Laden was over 6 foot). He was wearing white robes (as BL is wont to do) and was being treated deferentially by the others.

The drone observed them for a while and then fired a Hellcat missile at them killing them all. US soldiers then recovered remains from the site and brought them back to the US. The US government has asked the bin Laden family to provide DNA samples so that they can confirm it was BL (or rule it out).

As far as I’m aware we are still awaiting the decision of the bin Laden family as to whether to send these DNA samples. Or maybe they’ve provided the samples and we are awaiting the results. I’m not sure which.

Correction, the missile fired was a Hellfire missile, not Hellcat (don’t know where I got that from). Here’s a link to an article about it:

Osama could be getting by with peritoneal dialysis, which does not require access to the circulatory system, and is much simpler. Basically, you dump a few quarts of fluid into the abdominal cavity via a catheter around the navel, let it slosh in there for a while, then let it out. The peritoneum (not to be confused with the perineum) is very vascular, and the blood toxins cross thru the peritoneal barrier into the saline quite nicely. The equipment is much less high tech.

Oh, I think they know exactly where ol’ Osama is. It would be inconvenient for him to turn up now, though. If he did, dead or alive in chains, support for the “war on terrorism” might flag a bit and that would definately not be welcome in Washington.

Hell, he may even be back at his desk job at Langley.

Me, I think he’s dead in some cave somewhere. At “best”, he went over the mountains into Pakistan.