What the hell is going on with Kayak? Someone at their ad agency having a contest for the stupidest commercial?
Recent Kayak commercials.
There’s a local jeweler who runs ads during Seattle Mariners games … and I want to walk down to his shop and punch him in the face because his commercials are so fucking stupid!
Sorry, no links, these are local radio ads.
But I will try to transcribe these ads if I can.
The commercial for some Asus tablet annoys me. Some woman who has a coffee shop or cafe or something and when some delivery guy says he needs the boss to sign, she gives a cocky smirk and shake of her head and says “I’m the boss”.
Lady, the guy doesn’t give a shit who the boss is. If the bowl of avocados next to you had arms and could sign, he would let it sign. He doesn’t care about your journey of business success despite being a tank-top wearing woman, he just needs someone to sign so he can go do his next delivery.
I can sort of understand because the delivery guy comes in and asks for the boss and looks around because, obviously, a girl couldn’t be the boss.
The funniest part of that ad is that they’re playing The Pixies’ “Gigantic”, which is about a big black cock.
Like I said earlier, one of my favorite Pixies songs. 
Exchange I used to have with a friend of mine when this song would come on…
Me: “Hey Bo, what’s this song about?”
Bo: “It’s about a big black cock!”
I think it had less to do with her being a “girl” and more to do with her looking like she just came from the gym. Which is fine and all but why would any assume you must be the boss when you look like every other employee? He just says “I need the boss to sign this” which seems a perfectly reasonable request, not “Hey little girl, run along and fetch me your boss who must be a huge strapping male to own a coffee shop like this”.
Heh. The thing that amuses me about that commercial is that she’s apparently committed her life savings to this restaurant and then apparently spends her busy day slowly taking avocados out of one bowl and putting them in another bowl. I’m not quite sure what she’s doing, but it doesn’t look like cooking to me.
Subaru’s newest “At don’t have to put up with that new car smell for long”.
Uh, I think a lot of people like that new car smell. That’s why they sell bottles of it (that never get it right). Also, an advertising program that says “This car will stink faster than the rest” isn’t going to lure me into the showroom.
“The car for people who can’t be bothered with cleaning their car.”
Every time I see that commercial, I wonder about the condition of their house. shudder
Well, as a metaphor for “You’re going to get a lot of living out of this car”, I get it. But it isn’t a very well thought out commercial. It’s particularly amusing that after all the soccer playing and manure hauling, the guy’s hot wife gets in the car and * that’s* when he wrinkles up his nose and gives her the “Was that you?” look. I’m not sure that’s what they were going for with this commercial
Actually, she’s taking them out of the shipping crate and putting them in the bowl.
Why she’s doing this at the front counter rather than in the back, I don’t know.
And the employee behind her is dressed like an employee. She doesn’t even look like she works there.
Actually, she includes a file with pictures and/or video from all the things they were doing. She was recording everything.
+1
I’m assuming it’s the Upright Citizen’s Brigade.
So local businesses in my town have a reputation for charging way too much for their goods. And there’s some truth to that, based in this being a fairly small — but rapidly growing — city in which many of these longstanding businesses enjoyed decades of being “the only game in town” for whatever it is they sell. That has historically prompted local residents to travel out of town, to larger cities, to purchase big-ticket items.
So the local GMC/Buick dealer has a radio ad in which the elderly owner recites a downright whiny monologue about supporting local businesses (“Not just my business…”) instead of going out of town, because local businesses support local schools. Which would be a fine message (without the whiny tone), but one line in the commercial makes me want to hop in my car and drive right down to this dealership … so that I can yell at the owner and inform him that the word “athletics” only has THREE syllables. It’s “ath-LET-ics”, not “ATH-a-LET-ics”, you moron!
This same dealership also has some radio commercials in which the owner plays the part of a character named “The General”. I’m guessing that “The General” is supposed to be a spoof of General Patton from WW2 (did Patton end his speeches with “That’s all.”?). “The General” delivers a patriotic speech about how great America is and aren’t veterans awesome, and come buy our cars. And they’re just painful to listen to, because instead of sounding inspiring, they just sound like an old man rambling and fumbling around trying to remember what he wanted to say. I suspect the problem is that the speaker is more focused on trying to imitate Patton (or whichever General) than on succinctly delivering his message. Thankfully, I haven’t heard one of these in a while, but I anticipate they flooding my local sports radio station as July 4 draws nearer. The guy really ought to let his son do the commercials. The son’s commercials all sound much more professional and less irritating.
Then there’s a local jeweler … god how I wish this place had online links to their radio ads so that I could share the horror with y’all. In these, the owner recites these twee, overly-verbose descriptions of a man proposing to a woman, or how much your mother means to you, or all manner of other sentimental bullshit to guilt men into buying diamonds for women. I only live two blocks away from this jewelry store, and every time one of these commercials intrudes into my Mariners games I want to walk right down there and throttle the guy.
Not just the commercial but the whole idea of Beggin Poppers. Designed specifically for people that don’t know how throw dog treats in the air.
Beggin Poppers. :smack:
How long will it take some kid to say, “Hey, I wonder if we could launch a frog?”
Subaru’s recent commercials seem to have a really high “WTF” factor. Like the “driving lesson” one where the father is teaching son #2 (apparently) to drive their manual-trans Subey while son #1 has a major meltdown in the back seat, screaming that his brother’s going to destroy the car. What parent in their right mind would try to teach something that requires concentration and at least a smidgen of calm with the Family Idiot ranting and raving in the back?
I’ve taught quite a few people to drive stick, and the LAST thing I would have wanted or allowed was a howling out-of-control nutjob in the peanut gallery. Dad, your calmness is admirable, but it ain’t working. Just turn around and tell Big-Mouth Bozo “YOU. OUT.” End of problem.
I LOVE Subeys. I OWN a Subey. But their commercials seem to be saying that Subey owners are all either refugees from third-rate sitcoms or prime candidates for the Darwin Awards. :smack:
That one makes sense to me. The kids are twins - which means they’re both learning to drive at the same time and they’re switching off halfway through the lesson. Also, I was taught to drive stick with my siblings in the backseat of the car making peanut gallery comments the whole time, too. So - it happens.