When two people are (slow) dancing, how can you tell who’s “leading”?
The man
Dancing with someone is like having a conversation. The lead may change at any given time.
Are you asking as a participant or as an observer?
If you are a participant, the person who decides when/how the dance goes, when/how the turns happen, etc.
If you are an observer, usually the man, or the person who takes the man’s traditional hold. This may not hold true for beginners.
If you are talking about a “high school” slow dance where two people hug and move their feet every now and then, usually no one.
It meant more before the 1960s, when dancers still held on to each other.
The lead is usually the man, who places one hand (usually the right) in the small of his partner’s back to guide her. The woman would put her free hand on the man’s shoulder.
A woman can lead, too. Check the hand position: the one dancing lead has his or her hand on the other person’s back.
If you are doing social ballroom dancing, someone has to lead, and it is usually the man. Of course any lady ballroom instructor can take the lead to show how the man’s part is supposed to be done.
It is the lead that keeps the couple in the line of dance, hopefully not bumping into other couples, and indicates when to take a turn or other pattern.
As far as the lead changing at any time, that is not something I have ever really experienced.
Choreographed dancing (like you see on dance shows) may have a bit less lead and follow, because the routine is already known and rehearsed. With social lead and follow, the partner doing the following does not know what is coming up next, and gets the signals from the lead.
Yes, but which one?
Sandra-I meant as an observer. And yes, I meant the “male” role.
As others have said, it’s the hand placement when they’re in close. When they’re dancing in a more open formation, it’s tough to tell unless you really know what you’re looking for.
Since it’s the lead’s job to make the follow look good, the better looking person is usually the follow.
Another thing to look for in social ballroom is where the ladies left hand is. If it’s on top of the gent’s shoulder, he’s probably leading. If it’s resting on his shoulder blade, then she’s probably leading. (And the gent is probably learning/less experienced.)