Trying to train an new employee this. IDK if she’s scared to push or what. Speaking to 2 other my age (45-60, I know, big age range, but it’s my sample) people who are training younger (20-30 year olds), it’s not just me.
My concern, which I’ve expressed to her, is that she can’t take a simple “no” to the boss as a reason something didn’t happen, at least not unless she can explain all the things she did to overcome the no. No is a starting point to negotiation etc.
And no, we’re not dealing with legal matters–nothing where no is final as that.
It’s a cultural issue. If you come from a culture where challenge is expected and encouraged, then this comes easy, even for young people. If this practice is foreign to people, they have to learn it through example. Leaders have to invite challenge and demonstrate that there aren’t negative consequences for the challenge. That makes it easier for that type of culture to thrive.
If the boss says did you do this, did you get this whatever, and she gave up at a “no” in response to her queries to say one of our vendors or manufacturers we rep, that won’t be a sufficient answer. Unless she can detail all of the ways she tried to get around that no or work to a compromise. Otherwise, he will.
No, not sales, but getting things she needs to do her job. Example: she needed art that she couldn’t find anywhere. I suggested she call the manufacturer. The receptionist ( I guess, the first person she spoke with on the phone ) said no. And for my trainee, it ended there.
That’s just one example. Another was when a vendor said that something we wanted that I’d sent her to pursue, was not possible. Well, IMHO, that’s where you start figuring out what is possible, but instead, she came back and said “he said no.”
Based on your examples, I think I get what you’re saying. But if I was training someone, I wouldn’t quite frame it as “not taking no for an answer,” because that wouldn’t make sense to me. Like if my boss wanted (for example), 1,000 blue binders for a presentation, and I called the vendor and it turns out they don’t have 1,000 blue binders in stock, then “no” is really the only answer to the question “can I purchase 1,000 blue binders?” Because no, you can’t.
It sounds to me like your employee needs to get into the habit of coming up with options B and C, (and D and E and however many you need). Maybe you could purchase:
Option B: 500 blue and 500 green binders
Option C: 1,000 aqua binders
Option D: 1,000 blue binders from a different vendor that are more expensive
Option E: 1,000 red binders and then we get 1,000 stickers with our logo printed in blue and stick them on
To me, it’s not “don’t take no for an answer,” it’s “for every request, come in with at least three options to propose.” I think those are slightly different things, and it is possible that your employee honestly don’t get what you are looking for.
Very good point, so OK, when I’m not here to suggest that she think of options or present them to her, then how to I push her to think of options on her own?
I would start by giving her goals rather than specific tasks. So, instead of having her call the manufacturer requesting a specific piece of art put it in terms of “I need to create a presentation highlighting your product. Who can I speak about any collateral you might be able to provide to best highlight “X”.”
This leaves the situation vague enough that it is difficult to say a direct “No”. It also helps to bring the other party into the transaction and makes them feel like they have a stake in it.
That’s hard to answer, not knowing how your office is set up! But it might be process-driven, like having her use a template for every project that has spaces for Option A, Option B, and Option C so that it’s obvious she’s supposed to have three options.
It’s definitely not age, and mostly just a matter of training or habit. Some cultures expect everything to be a negotiation, for example, so they’re going to “automatically” learn that no is just an opening position. Even within a single culture, different personalities and what people learn from family members and other authority figures will give varying responses.
In an office training situation, there might also be some hesitancy as people learn what their place is and what’s expected from them.
Just as an example of both points, I grew up being taught that people in business were always professional all the time. They never made mistakes, were always experts in their field, never showed up late, never procrastinated. My grandfather loved to say “The difference between yes and yeah is $20,000/year.” Of course, once I got into the business world, I quickly discovered that it is filled with incompetence, laziness and stupidity… and even people who don’t fit that description still make honest mistakes now and then. Lo and behold, business people are actually just people. Go figure! Anyway, I quickly learned that things were far more negotiable than I’d grown up believing they would be.
Yes, it’s something that some people have to grow out of. I remember having to develop a sense of agency when I was younger, and it didn’t come quickly. Coaching helps.
It’s not necessarily that you have to word the assignment differently, but taking the time to brainstorm a little when giving the assignments can sometimes help. Here’s the assignment, what are the first steps? And what if she says no, then what? Make her practice coming up with options now and then.
Seeing others work their way past roadblocks can also help. So if you can give examples of developing alternatives or pushing through an initial no, then tell her about them. For the receptionist saying no, unless the receptionist is one of the owners, they don’t have the authority to say no to a request for artwork. You need to find someone else to talk to.
How does she know what’s negotiable and what isn’t. If her job is to get 1,000 blue binders, and she’s told they aren’t available, is that an opening to accept 500 blue binders, or 1,000 red binders, or “blue would be nice but color really doesn’t matter”?
Has she been involved enough in the project to see the big picture, and the alternative ways to achieve the goal, or is she just another interchangeable assistant who only knows the single task in front of her.
“The manufacturer” is a pretty big entity. Was she supposed to know who your contact is over there, or that there’s probably an entire marketing department that would be happy to help her?
What* is* possible? Did she think she could try a different vendor, or that you were completely dependent on that vendor? And, going back to the blue vs. red binders, does the think she has the authority to be flexible?
And to me, here’s the biggest question. What’s the company culture? Not what you say the culture is, but what it really is. I’ve known managers who talked the talk about employee empowerment, then dressed down employees in front of everyone for daring to choose a different brand of pencil without clearing it through the boss.
I was struggling to find the right word to describe the concept; I kept coming up with “resourceful” and “problem solver,” but “having a sense of agency” seems to fit pretty good.
Maybe she should watch a few episodes of Macgyver. I say that only half in jest, because there really is a common theme there, i.e. recognizing that there are usually multiple solutions to a problem, and it’s up to you to look around and see what your resources/options are.
Sounds like it needs to be framed as her finding a creative solution to a problem, rather than asking a specific person for an answer to a specific question. So, using delphica’s example, “We’re going to need 1,000 blue binders for this presentation, and I’m not sure what the best way is to make that happen. I’d suggest you start by trying to contact ABC Company, but if they can’t provide that for us, I’d like you to figure out another solution. Explore what other resources there might be to obtain the binders we need and let me know what you’re able to find.”