I was looking at the LBMB, and came across a debate on something they’re doing in Texas. They’ve set up these places where (correct me if I’m wrong) women can drop off unwanted babies (to be put up for adoption), no questions asked.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Personally, I think that this is overall a good thing. Some of you might have a problem with the idea of women walking away from responsibility. My response is that if a woman wishes to just ditch the responsibility of being a mother, the best thing to do (for both her and the baby) is to let her, and let the baby be adopted by people who are 100% willing and able to raise it.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
No. That is a horrible idea. Bad, bad, bad idea. And let me tell you why I think so.
I am very much for adoption. I am a birthmother, and relinquished a child for adoption 11 years ago. We have an open adoption. I still see my daughter. She knows who I am. She will never have to go through a long, painful search for me or her biological history. If she has a question, she can reach me, any time, day or night.
Prior to the birth of my daughter, I received excellent counselling through the agency that handled the adoption, Catholic Social Services. Not just a one-shot deal, either. Once a month for 5 months before my daughter was born, and once a week for nearly a year afterwards. Thanks to my amazing social worker, I survived the whole thing.
The “no questions asked” policy that was mentioned bothers me. What do they mean, no questions? Do they mean no questions at all, or no questions as to why the decision to relinquish is being made? I mean, questions have to be asked. The agency must be informed of the medical history of the birthparents, at the very least. And what of counselling? A woman who makes the decision to relinquish needs counselling. She needs near-constant reassurance that she has made the right choice. She needs to know that she is not an evil, horrible person for choosing not to raise the child she carried.
Adoption is a very good thing. But these folks are going about it the wrong way. They’ve got an idea, but they need to work on it a bit. The “no questions asked” policy leaves too much room for black-marketing, and no room at all for searching by the child or birthparent.
I don’t think there’s anything overtly wrong with it. It might encourage a few women to drop their babies when otherwise they wouldn’t, but I don’t think that’ll be too many. They might have problems with funding (gotta make sure the babies are healthy), but if the women want to get rid of the babies, then it’s best for the babies that there be some place for them to go.
Its better that, if they have any doubts about their abilty to raise the child, that they give him/her up now instead of waiting until the child gets older and possible getting abusive.
It’s nice to see the religious right finally acknowledging that unwanted children have to be dealt with after birth, but I agree with Cristi, the “no questions asked” part is disturbing. The whole thing sounds like a PR scam. And a lawsuit waiting to happen.
You mean like, “Here, take this baby, my husband wants it but I don’t,” … or “Here, this is my neighbor’s baby, which has been keeping me up all night with its incessant bawling”?
It’s obvious that you are just barely NOTICING that the “religious right” are doing something about unwanted children. The Alpha Crisis Pregnancy organization has chapters in most cities. They provide counseling, maternity clothes, diapers, cribs, strollers, as well as referring those (who want it) to adoption services. They exist strictly on donations, unlike Planned Parenthood who glean tax dollars from the public. That’s just one such organization that I personally know of, but I am sure there are more out there. I know that they have been in existence for years, but not exactly sure of how many. I’ll try to find out.
Kinda makes sense. You see, Planned Parenthood ain’t only about abortions. They will help or put expectant mothers in touch with help to do all of those things if she decides to keep the baby.
The difference is that if a pregnant woman decides to have an abortion, the Planned Parenthood people will try and help her for that legal choice as well.
Whereas the other places (I read a neat little story about them, don’t know if it’s this organizatioon in particular, but I’m sure it ain’t much different) will preach against it, show mothers film strips of abortions and fetuses, and generally not make them feel very good about their choice.
You want tax dollars? (Yeah, like religious organizations NEVER get any tax breaks!) Do the complete job and help out with ALL of the legal choices. Not just the ones that you think are neato.
Not to mention that Planned Parenthood’s major purpose is to provide low-cost birth control and gynecological examinations to poor women, many of whom have no medical insurance. This, of course, is a public health issue, so of course they should receive tax dollars.
Plus, the cheap birth control they give helps reduce unplanned pregnancies in the first place. Or are you people against that too?
I think it is sad that we need such a place, but we do. You hear far too many stories of babies found in dumpsters and such. The ‘women’(I use the term loosely here) that dump their babies in restrooms and trash bins are obviously doing it ‘no questions asked’. At least with a facility such as this the child lives and a couple that wants a child can give them a loving home.
If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun.
-Benjamin Franklin
But if the birthmothers are going to be allowed to just abandon babies at this place (and if there’s no questions asked, it’s abandonment), just how thoroughly can we expect the prospective adoptive parents to be screened? Or will the be screened at all? This gets to something I said in my earlier post about leaving too much room for black marketing, or something similar. It would be easy for a place like this to get funded. Simply charge the couples wanting to adopt a ridiculous sum of money for the privilege of adopting a baby. If the couple can produce the bucks, they must be able to give the baby a good home, right? Wrong. And if there’s no questions asked of the birthparents, how are the adoptive parents supposed to have any kind of clue about the child they may be adopting? What if they end up adopting a special needs child without knowing it in advance? Some people genuinely want to adopt children with special needs, others don’t.
I believe that most people have good hearts, and want to do something to help others. But something about this place is disturbing me greatly. Is there a site somewhere that I could look at? I’d like to read more about it, if I can find something.
What?!? What do you mean? Of course she’s an evil horrible person. She probably had sex out of wedlock, and (gasp!) doesn’t want a child. These good Christian people are going to give this child a life MUCH better than this wanton sinner of a mother ever could. Gimme the baby! No, you can’t say goodbye!
Cristi- I don’t think you get my point, here.
It is a terrible thing, yes. But the child lives. My point here is I don’t like to see a stray dog or cat, let alone think of a newborn infant, freezing, filthy, starving to death at the bottom of a dumpster. If a woman carries a pregnancy to full term and birth(abortion is always an option), and then loses her mind and doesn’t know what to do, here is a better option, purely for the childs sake. Here’s what I found http://www.james.com/openarms/index.htm
If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun.
-Benjamin Franklin
Thanks for the link. I was glad to see that there were some counseling options available. Something about it is still making me vaguely uneasy, though. I can’t exactly put my finger on it.
What do they do with the ones who don’t get adopted?
What do they do when the funding doesn’t cover expenses?
How do they screen adoptive parents, and how are they affected by state regulations pertaining to adoption? Ditto foster parents. Are they considered childcare providers and subject to those regulations?
Do they have a return policy?
What type of medical care do the kids get? Do they have group medical insurance?
Have they read at least one Charles Dickens novel?
I’m not sure if it’s really “no questions asked” per se, that’s just what I heard on the LBMB.
How do they screen adoptive parents, and how are they affected by state regulations pertaining to adoption? Ditto foster parents. Are they considered childcare providers and subject to those regulations?
Maybe they just have the regular adoption agency handle the part about adoption.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.