Ding, dong, the thread is dead
(Ahem) Something odd going on here; what I was attempting to post was:
Ding, dong, the thread is dead!
“Which dead thread?”
You pled. “Unread!”
Ding, dong, the threadcatgut your tongue!
Hmmmmmmm… maybe there’s a reason the server burped?
When my username appears in the “Last Post By” column it is a sure sign that the thread is going to die.
More thread death types to categorize:
What about a thread in which no one ever posts? Is this Crib Thread Death? Would the OPer be considered guilty of threadfanticide?
How about a thread in which the OP is eaten by the thread-hating hamsters? Would this be a Headless Thread? Or worse yet, a Stillborn Thread?
I must know the answers soon or I won’t be able to sleep tonight.
And when a thread dies, can some of its posts be donated to other threads to prevent them from dying?
“Hi Opal”, “og”, “cow-orkers”, numerous donations from now dead thread live on among us.
Endangering the welfare of a thread…
i think threadicide would be killing your own thread.
a thread which gets locked would be a thread that died of natural causes (too sick to go on).
the only way that i could see for a thread not to have a killer is to be locked, or for another thread to take over for that thread, linking to it of course.
now, someone admire my wisdom, as i don’t want charges brought against me.
I heard this thread is filing a restraining order against me.
This thread is summoning me to a grand jury inquisition.
F_X
Every time you kill a thread…
God kills a kitten!
I love threads. I’m a threadaphiliac.
The worst is involuntary threadslaughter while posting under the influence.
There’s not an uglier sight in all the world.
Happy
What about serial threadslaughter? Or multiple threadslaughter? Or even spree threadslaughter?
Some threads just die natural deaths. For example, in a thread on panagrams, I posted MR JOCK, TV QUIZ PHD, BAGS FEW LYNX. Who could top that?
Uh oh…if threadslaughter becomes a crime, I’d better start runnin’ for the border…yesterday.
When threads go bad…
Inevitably, liberals are going to claim that computers were used in all these thread deaths. And then they’re going to start with all their talk about registering computers and background checks and three day waiting periods. Well all I can say is - computers don’t kill threads, people kill threads.
Ligamenicide.
Unless done in self-defense: then; Justifiable Ligamenicide.
Well, Little Nemo, they can have my computer when they pry it from my cold, dead, carpal-tunnel-syndromed fingers!
[sings] I shot a thread in Memphis, just to watch it die…[/sings]