firstly, how long will it take since the threadkiller’s last post for the thread to be officially certified dead?
secondly, if someone else came along to resurrect the officially dead thread would it absolve the threadkiller of his or her crime?
thirdly, is the one who resurrected the thread guilty of a crime?
and lastly, is a resurrected thread truly alive or is it a zombie thread? (which might help explain some poster’s reaction to it.)
Anyone who is convicted of threadslaughter should be forced to become a moderator for a week. Then they would see the great pain which all the mods go through when they have to read all of the horrible threads out there.
I think we could start a reality type T.V. show called “MODS”. It would start with some cheesy Jamaican music and some guy singing “Bad threads, Bad threads, whatcha gonna do?”, then the MODS would be hoping over computers tackling people and so on…
moejuck
Since it would be a TV show about a group of MODS maybe we could call it :
the MOD Bunch - no wait - how about
the MOD Gang - hmm still not right - maybe
the MOD Crowd - hmm okay how about…
Wouldn’t there have to be some sort of statute of limitations? If I was the last poster in a thread I could post once every day to keep the thread alive, thus preventing a threadslaughter.
And it would only be a matter of time before some sort of organized crime ring sprung up. You know, “Pay me $50 and your thread stays alive”. The Threadsano family could make millions!
And I heard about a thread that woke up in a bathtub full of ice with its OP removed…
::shudder::
If you’ll notice, some threads have a DNR order on them.
Anyone care to discuss the proper penalties for lesser Crimes against Thread?
It seems we should establish just punishments for the entire range; from light verbal abuse (grammar and spelling errors) and technical negligence (typographical errors and multiple posts), all the way up to thread-jacking and general permanent disfigurement and non-lethal maiming.
A separate thread may be necessary for dealing with Weapons of Thread Destruction, but nobody will be able to find it.
Mod: “This thread’s dead”
OP: “No it’s not, it’s uh, resting”
Mod: I know a dead thread when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now"
OP: “It’s just…stunned. This thread stuns easily”
Mod: “This thread is definately deceased”
OP: “It’s probably just pining for the fjords…”
Mod: “This is an EX-THREAD!!”
It ain’t dead till Coldfire snaps a lock on it. 
This thread has been threadsurrected!
I absolutely agree.
It’s clearly a case of negligent threadicide, where the death could have been prevented by any ‘reasonable man’ passerby. If you think about it, the Last Poster was keeping the thread aliv, just a little bit longer. They were averting a death, not causing it.
Oh the horror. Are we here in the SDMB at the same moral level of the 38 New Yorkers who watched from their apartment windows as Kitty Genovese was brutally (and ultimately fatally) assaulted not once but three times, without trying to help or calling the police? Those who want to punish Last Posters would probably fine Kitty Genovese for ‘disturbing the peace’ - After the apartment dwellers had shut off their lights and returned to bed, her screams woke them again during each subsequent assault.
[I suppose I should provide a [url=http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/lyrics/small-circle-of-friends.html]link[/url for this famous historical incident, which inspired Phil Ochs classic protest song “A Small Circle of Friends”]
Must we mandate a Samaritan Law (in some jurisdictions, physicians with MD plates were obligated to stop and help if they encountered a roadside accidents before EMTs arrived). For that matter, where are our EMT (Emergency Message for Threads) squad or Highway Patrol? (Have you seen the hijacking that goes on on here?)
My services as a professional can be enlisted to deal with any threads that have meddled in your browsing for the last time. I only accept payment in wire transfers to my offshore accounts. You may contact me via a temporary cell phone number. Then watch the desired thread drift off the front page for eternity.
Remember, my methods can be gruesome. If you blanch out and double cross me, I may just appear in your birthday thread.
You wouldn’t want that, would you?