If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they’re gone.
- jack Handy
Speaking of poison ivy, if you’re camping out and you build a fire, be careful about what you feed into it. You can get a pretty serious case of poison ivy from the smoke if you burn it.
When out in the woods, don’t use leaves to wipe if you don’t know what poison ivy looks like.
Never come in from pulling up poison ivy by hand in your yard and casually rub your young child’s back. Just because you aren’t allergic to it doesn’t mean that your child isn’t.
Hey everybody, how about we learn what poison ivy looks like?
Thankfully no…but 10 years later i still cannot feel in two fingertips (above top knuckle) and it took about 5/6 years before the fingernails were somewhat back to normal.
At the time was covered in black nasty old engine sludge. I had to scrub hand and affected fingers with gasoline to clean them. I super-glued both fingertips to stop bleeding and keep the nail on (temporarily). I, in fact was at work the next day, albeit in a tad bit of pain.
If you start to nod off while driving, pull over, NOW. Take a nap on the side of the road if you have to. Be late to your own coronation. But PULL OVER!
You learned this the hard way?? :eek:
Yup. But I learned it good.
I had a few seconds of sleeping while driving at about age 18. Scared the crap outta me, but no blood or scraped paint. Never been close since. Learned it good. Real good.
A few seconds seem like an eternity in that scenario.
If you drop an Xacto knife, don’t try to catch it.
Hot steel looks just like cold steel.
Pee can look indistinguishable from Mountain Dew, at least when it’s in the bottle.
If you had a major struggle getting that bottom hose replaced and when you start the engine it is still leaking, it is a bad idea to try to locate the leak by reaching in there to try to feel where it is coming from.
But I have almost always heeded the advice from that one coffee cup: “Never eat at a place called Mom’s, never play cards with a man named Ace and never invest in anything that eats or needs paint.”
But if you live in the part of the country where poison ivy does not grow, you should learn what the other stuff looks like.
Ewww…
If you’re a bald man who wears baseball caps, and a woman starts showing interest in you, take off your cap as soon as possible. Otherwise, things may turn out very, very badly. One should assume that women aren’t interested in bald men until proven otherwise.
Yes, Quills is an excellent movie, with a fine script and flawless acting. All the same, mentioning the Marquis de Sade during a dinner date is a bad idea.
Joining the military is like getting married. If you do it for money, you’re going to be miserable.
If you’re going 45 on a two-way street in the winter in Northern USA, and a car swings out from a side street right in front of you, do not hit the breaks. Just plow right into him. Hitting him is a ~40mph collision. Skidding into the opposite lane is a ~90mph one.
Never assume that a cup of coffee is roach free.
If you are doing a high-school physics lab with your hopeless crush, the one you’ve been pining over for years, and the teacher hands you one end of a stretched slinky with your crush on the other end, and instructs you to back off down the hall and then swing it from side to side to simulate wave motion… stop backing up before your hand slips and you drop the Slinky, and the end goes rocketing back down the hall to smash into your crush and the teacher.
Also, never dance in hiking boots.
Do not put the nasty caked with litter scoop into a bleach solution either. I moved out of the way of that sinister little cloud of gas fast!