Today I learned that “kerosene” is NOT “lamp oil”. Not if you want to use it indoors.
Olives need to be cured before you can eat them. I learned that years ago when I was hiking. The trail passed through what used to be an olive orchard. I noticed a tree that was still producing olives. So I thought I’d try a fresh olive off the tree, found one that looked ripe, and popped it in my mouth. It was one of the most bitter, unplesant things I have ever put in my mouth.
Don’t jump to marry the first guy who asks you, no matter how head over heels in love you are.
There is a right way and a wrong way to pick up a rabbit.
Never, ever, ever ask a kid, “Why?”
The circumstances of asking this of a kid means that the kid has done something wrong. You are already mad. There is NO answer that the kid can have that will alleviate whatever problem exists.
Any answer will just make you more mad.
Be kind to yourself. Never ask a kid, “Why?”
Just. Don’t.
~VOW
I did the same thing, in Chile. It took me days to get the taste out of my mouth.
Double-check that the soldering pencil is unplugged before picking it up by the business end.
Never pick up a strange cat.
Though I’ve violated that one a number of times since; including the time that wound up with this nice yellow cat snoozing on my couch. Maybe I’d better amend that:
Always use caution when offering to pick up a strange cat; and be ready to let go extremely fast.
Don’t ever punch your 16yo younger brother.
I had tormented him for many years. One day he punched back. I didn’t mess with him after that.
My kids are two and a half years apart. Ever since her brother came into her life, The Daughter has used every opportunity to let him know she was FIRST. She’d really whale on the kid.
She was about four or five when I pulled her aside for a little talk. I told her, “Right now, you are bigger than he is, because you are older. But before long, he’s going to be much bigger and stronger than you are. Just look how big your daddy is.”
As they grew, the fights got louder and more violent. I used to tell them to take it to the other room, and the survivor to come back and tell me how many plates to set for dinner.
~VOW
Same with my 2 oldest ~VOW, some days I seriosly wondered would both grow up. The great equalizer happened as the teen years came on. Then I wondered would I survive.
Me and the lil’wrekker used to hide from them. Of course she was a joy as a teen. :dubious: (at least there was only one of her)
Never carry credit card debt.
Don’t catch a cactus plant that you knocked off the counter.
And of course the automatic instinct is to catch knocked-off items… :smack:
Backhoes don’t float.
Oh Man - Spanish olives are just the same. Jeez, it was a shocker.
j
Never jump too soon at an opportunity, and never jump at it too late, either. A great many things in my life were wasted/wrecked because of poor timing.
Early on in a relationship, if she tells you out of the blue that she considers Splendor In The Grass “a beautiful movie”, she might be trying to tell you something.
Roughly six hours and approximately 11 separate phone calls later… the way to complain about your internet/phone/cable TV bill going up up up is to cancel one of your services and ask how much that reduces it. They’ll instead pitch to you a new promotional rate to keep you signed up. It’ll probably expire in a year so mark it on your calendar to renegotiate.
We still don’t have much use for the TV part — although we hold out hope for Outlander or Better Call Saul to be televised in a place we can get to without “joining” something else — but if they’re gonna reduce the rate for the whole package each time we threaten to cancel it…
Her mother treated her father like a punching bag and her favorite novel was Ethan Frome. I should have run and run fast.