That oh so cool guy in highschool will break your tiny teenage heart.
In a related lesson, look at the soldering iron when reaching for it. Even if you think you have to keep your eyes on the workpiece to keep everything aligned and in place, when you grab the iron by the barrel instead of the handle the resulting spasm of pain and fear will make you knock the workpiece apart anyway.
Cow corn is not the same as people corn, no matter how good it looks.
Baking powder and baking soda are NOT interchangeable as cooking ingredients.
Guaifenesin and guanfacine are two very different drugs for very different purposes.
Remove the obturator from the anoscope very, very slowly when using it to examine a patient. And during that process, be ready to put it back in quickly at need.
Lose the first five pounds when they appear.
Don’t grab a hot dish in the oven with a wet hotpad. Just don’t.
I laughed. But I bet you didn’t!
Ditto on the olives. A lovely trip through southern Spain cured me of that.
Don’t have sex with the crazy.
Never take your eyes off the knife when chopping things up.
Never put said knife in the sink.
Metal handles on pans that come out of the 400F oven are also 400F. After an incident with a pan full of seared lamb chops a few nights ago, it turns out I still haven’t learned that one.
When cats roll onto their back, it is NOT an invitation to skritch their tummies.
“We’ll see” is moms way of saying NO!
From my much younger days: If she cheated on him with you, she’ll cheat on you as well. Also, no matter how hot she is, somewhere there is a guy who is sick of her shit!
In the wee hours of the night it is better to have beer though no money than to have money but no beer.
Did NOT learn the hard way, but came awfully damn close: do not mix bleach and ammonia.
Being alone doesn’t hurt nearly as much as being with the wrong person.
When you feel down, find somebody who needs your help and help them. There is always something you can do for somebody else, and there is no better way to raise your mood and self-esteem.
Liquid propane is, like, really cold.
To my men folks: clean that ice chest as soon as you get the fish out. It seems even expensive ice chests won’t release the odor of fish.
Make sure the gas grill is a few feet away from the vinyl siding on your house when lighting the grill. 1 foot is not enough. I have a 2’X3’ warped spot of siding by my back door of my old house.
Neither do D-8 Cats!
Damn good advice.
related–never pick up a curling iron by the business end even if it is unplugged.
Don’t drive your new 4Runner across a knee-deep creek if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Don’t ever go to pet an unknown dog.
Both of these. Lessons I have carried for close to 30 years now, and will keep carrying to my grave.