Never tell a crazy bipolar friend that she can stay with you just until she finds a place. Next thing you know she’s cranking up the shit-hop and getting into fights with the neighbors until you get an eviction warning.
Always keep your hands behind the sharp edge of the tool; especially wood chisels.
Buy comfortable house shoes and wear them. My broken toe still gives me pains after 20 years.
When picking peppers, do NOT wipe the sweat from your forehead.
Dish washing soap is NOT the same thing as dish washing machine soap.
Paper towels do NOT flush just like toilet paper.
The white stuff you use to mix with tuna is mayonnaise, NOT sour cream
Double post
There’s never just one round of layoffs.
When a kid says they’re gonna puke, pull over fast.
When my kids were growing up, I said, “Pick somebody that fits in to your family. If someone hates your parents, despises your siblings, only wants to be with their friends and family, move on to someone else.”
Fortunately, my two children both made wise choices in that regard.
~VOW
When ANYONE says they gotta puke, pull over fast!:eek:
~VOW
The good news - I finally convinced work to allow us to work from home.
The bad news - I finally convinced work to allow us to work from home.
My work day is now… always. I have to get this shit balanced out.
(but really lucky compared to a lot of people at this time)
When the check engine light comes on while you’re driving down the freeway, don’t just go “Eh, it seems to be running just fine. It’s probably not a big deal,” and keep driving.
Also, maybe glance at the temperature gauge from time to time.
When it does start running poorly and you’re two hours from home, don’t try to make it home.
Even a Toyota can fail catastrophically if you drive it without coolant. But on a positive note, I got the excuse I was looking for to buy the Miata I’d been wanting.
According to a school of German heretics, God is responsible for everything, but Satan controls the timing. The original Plausible Deniability.
This one depends on the cat. My cat love having his belly rubbed, and it’s totally safe to do it. Well, most of the time.
As a fellow office worker working from home, I find it helps to have routine that signals the beginning and end of the work day. At the beginning of the work day I put on the same clothes I’d wear if I were going to the office, and I put my shoes on. For me, this sends my brain the message that I’m now “at work”. At the end of the work day (I’ve also seen the advise to have a set quitting time for yourself) I take off my shoes and put on slippers. This tells my brain that I’m now “at home”. Yeah, it seems a bit like Mr. Rogers, except I don’t have a cardigan to go along with the changing of the shoes.
If a friend of yours asks if he can store a few boxes in your garage: before answering, find out just what he means by “a few”.
Cats like to jump and claw at things that dangle. If you’re a dude and have cats, don’t walk around your house naked.
Believe me, I tried. 
When a potato salad recipe lists “1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus more to taste”, it doesn’t mean add a tablespoon to the dressing, plus more if you think it needs it. As far as I can tell, the 1 tablespoon referred to the salt to add to the cooking water for the potatoes, and the dressing was just supposed to be salted to taste.
Wow, that’s a poorly written recipe not to spell that one out.
The problem was at least in part me not reading the actually reading the instructions portion of the recipe closely enough. “1 tablespoon plus more to taste” was how it was listed in the ingredient list, but in the instructions it does say “add 1 tablespoon salt” to the water for cooking the potatoes, and “add salt and pepper to taste” to the dressing.
Don’t drive tired.