So there I was with my friend Patrick running around the track (I work on a college campus) when I hear those words: “Let me hold your stick in case I find any balls under there.” That is an exact quote. It is burned into my brain.
I couldn’t stop laughing for half a lap.
You see, the women’s Lacrosse team was getting ready to practice and one girl, I guess, was going in search of some misplaced balls and wanted to borrow another girls Lacrosse stick to help in the search. So this was, in context, an innocent remark. But out of context, hilarious.
Ever overhear an innocent comment that made you double over in laughter?
A co-worker of mine bartends on weekends at a small, very informal place. One night her mom was there visiting and took over the tap for a few while we chatted. As her mom was dispensing a beer, my friend yelled out “No head, mom.”
While in a bar with some friends, one guy commented, “On nights like this, I go home, pee, and pass out.”
Apparently, he meant that he goes right to sleep on the couch because beer makes him sleepy. But it sure sounded like he passes out because of the peeing. We kept asking him, “Have you seen a doctor about that?” and “Does it burn before you pass out?”
We were talking about Book 10 of Paradise Lost in my Milton class yesterday. Now, Milton, being a somewhat rabid Protestant, slipped a lot of anti-Catholic propaganda into this book. Specifically, he has Satan turn Death into his second-in-command, in a sort of parody of a papal investiture.
One of my classmates commented, “So Death is Satan’s Peter.”
I had an organic chem class a while back where the prof used styrofoam balls to model atoms. We were talking about this one specific reaction, and, lacking enough models, he said, “I’d like to show you how this works, but I don’t have enough balls for it.” He honestly didn’t understand why everyone began sniggering.
LateComer - This was a women’s lacrosse team, right? Sorry, don’t get it.
Smeghead - AFAIK, quantity has never been a concern when it comes to…uh…the family jewels. Anything more than two, I’d say, is a cause for concern.
Cripes, isn’t it horrible how COMPLETELY ORDINARY WORDS have become synonymous with a bazillion-and-one sex terms…and nearly as many horrendous South Park jokes? (You know, “munch box”, “lick carpet”, etc.)
Female friend and I had been discussing depression and how some people opt to treat their depression by self-medicating with intravenous drugs.
Completely oblivious to any other possible meaning, she turned to me and said, “I wish you had something you could stick in me that would make me happy.”
LateComer, I guess you just have to be in the right circles. As soon as I saw the thread title, I knew exactly what you were talking about…at my high school our lacrosse balls are constantly rolling under the bleachers!
My girlfriend and I have this thing where she asks me “How much do you love me?”, and I say something like "I love you from here to China, or here to the end of the Universe, or here to Pluto, and so on…well, one time, we were out to dinner with her parents, and she asked me “How much do you love me?” Without thinking, I said “I love you from here all the way to Uranus.” :eek: Then we both stared at each other, realizing what I just said, and broke out in hysterical laughter, while getting the strangest looks from her parents.
One of my co-workers a few years back was describing how he spent the weekend assembling a set of shelves he had purchased, that were held together by screws. Showing us his right hand, he said “Look at the blisters, I haven’t screwed for a long time.” Don’t know what was funnier, his comment or my buddy spewing orange juice out his nose as he started laughing!
Just last week I entered the Nuclear Medicine room and heard my co-worker say to a rather well-endowed young woman, “Wow, you have a couple of nice ones here!”
He was getting ready to inject a radioisotope into the back of her hand, and was talking about her veins.
My supervisor at the time was a woman. She and another male co-worker were discussing something with me at my cubicle. She was waiting for a third man to get out of a long meeting. He walked by, and she said something. Before I quote her, I must emphasize that the first word was said in a short, slightly explosive manner. She said “Oh! Are you done?” We men laughed, and fortunately for us, she also laughed.
