Let me save you an hour [Bob Saget stand-up]

Cafe Society
1

I watched a “comedy” special the other night. It was a Bob Saget standup piece.

Ok, Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos were not indicative of Saget’s style of comedy. I get that. I’ve seen a few clips of him doing standup in CA, and they were actually pretty funny. He has tried hard to distance himself from the “family humor” he is known for (see his cameo on Entourage, and his role in Dumb and Dumberer). I get that too.

This show was fucking awful. I mean seriously bad, like bad enough that I was practically angry after a while. Did I mention that I suffered through the first half hour of this only? Did I laugh? No, not even once. It was as forced a performance as I have ever seen in my life. It was sad, but at the same time, I was very upset with either the person that made BS (hah!) do such a thing, or BS himself for thinking that any of that material was even remotely funny.

This isn’t in the Pit because I can’t do justice to the vitriol that deserves to be spat on this show. I find myself speechless. My roommate teased me about having TiVo’d it, and I said “C’mon, I’ve seen a few of his sets that killed. It can’t be that bad.” I was so wrong that I should punch myself. However, the fact that my arms are attached to my body restricts me from getting up the necessary momentum needed to deliver a punch that would fit my level of wrongness.

I’m sure that the second half hour is the funniest thing ever recorded on tape, but I’m willing to live without it.

If I were to ever encounter Bob Saget IRL, which by my calculations are nigh impossible, I’d need to have a plan so that I could deal with the situation appropriately. I’m thinking that any time I enter an airport, I should carry a note with me. I would give this note to BS, and walk away quickly. He would get the message, and I’d have a greatly reduced urge to slap him in the mouth.

The note might read:

Dear Mr. Saget,

Wait. I need to be honest here. Replace Mr. with asshole. This note has been given to you in lieu of me kicking you repeatedly in the penis. What was it like to work with John Stamos and Dave Coulier? Sorry, I digress. Back to me wanting to hurt you genitally. Wait, you already have daughters. Damnit! Your DNA has been passed on, and it’s too late to keep you from infecting the gene pool.

So, I watched your comedy special on HBO. Yeah, that’s right, I’m one of those people that are very upset with you. Good thing for you though, I only watched half of it. From what I’ve heard, the people that were forced to watch it all are seeking blood.

As you know, my time during that half hour could have been better spent in many ways. I could have been forcibly sodomized, stabbed repeatedly, set on fire, shot in the face, or even gotten a good caning in. No, I had to waste my time by watching your show. There’s enough suffering in the world, and you have to add to it? Consider joining the USO tour, maybe then your “comedy” can be labeled a war crime.

Anyways, as you read this, I have stolen your limo using your name, and a fake ID. I have also informed the local PETA chapter that you’re here to hunt and kill small animals for use as coin purses. They should be here soon. The DEA people are looking for a condom full of Oxycontin in your bowels, don’t worry, they wear gloves. The guys in the cab behind you? Oh, they’re just the Yakuza. I told them about the heroin shipment that you told the DEA about. Those dudes have no sense of humor!

Anyways, the special sucked, and if you’re lucky, you’ll live long enough to make amends. If not, well, sorry about your luck.

2

I saw Bob Saget at the Improv last year. I saw Dave Chappelle a few months before that, also at the Improv. Honestly, if asked to rank who was funnier, I’d have a very, very hard time. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to see his special this weekend, I didn’t think to TIVO it, and I probably won’t get a chance to see it for awhile for various reasons, so I can’t comment on if the special was the same material I saw last year. All I know is, when it was live, Bob Saget had me laughing so hard I hurt myself. But then, I like blue humor. The dirtier and more offensive, generally the more I’m amused—and Saget can be very, very offensive (check out his bit in The Aristocrats for a great example).

The “(Tell Me Why) Danny Tanner is Not Gay” song is one of the best things I ever heard.

3

I saw that show the other night. For about 15 minutes. That’s one quarter hour of my life that I’ll never get back. Not one little giggle or chuckle out of it. It was just… BAD. Full House was comedic genius compared to that routine.

4

I saw Saget perform live last fall, and he KILLED. Played to an entire packed arena, almost entirely a college-age audience, and people were literally rolling in the aisles. He’s raunchy, yes, but he was funny, and fast, and obviously very smart (whether he chooses to hide it or not). I take stand-up comedy as seriously as anyone can, and I’m a huge fan of Saget and his schtick.

5

I was a “fan” of Bob Saget to some degree. You are so lucky to have not seen this piece of shit. Should you choose to do so, know that you are not the only one that has been disillusioned.

6

Out of morbid curiosity, I tuned into the Saget special - and about five minutes later tuned to HGTV and watched paint dry. It was far more entertaining.

7

Lou, I feel you. I loved some of his earlier work, it was pretty fuckin’ funny. This show will make you feel as if someone shat in your mouth.

From what I’ve noticed, you and I have similar tastes. I have no reason to think that this is an exception. It’s kind of like saying “Dude, this milk is rotten!” The other guy disbelieves, and is almost killed in the process of validating the hypothesis.

Hear me now, believe me later. (like that?). This special might go down in history as being the least funny thing to ever occur on tape.

Watch it if you dare. If you’re allergic to boredom, bring a doctor. Also, bring a hammer, you’ll want to destroy a few things before you leave.

8

I had the misfortune of watching it on cable last night.

All he did was babble mindlessly for an hour and then sing a couple songs. I don’t think he completed a single sentence or thought during the entire show.

I think old Bob is sucking dick for coke again. (BTW: He made sure to slip several references to sucking dick for coke into the act.)

9

Good Og, how did you manage 30 full minutes of that dreck? I made it through about 7 and said “enough of that crap” and ereased it. He’s right, everybody. This is not Sagat’s usual level of comedy. This is not anybody’s level of comedy.

10

I edited your thread title, dnooman, to make it more descriptive.

11

I too turned to this horid piece of crap for about five minutes. I have never seen a show suck worse in my life. EVER… I just cannot grasp anyone’s point of view that this was even remotely funny.

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone who watched all of this and had to hurt themselves because of it.

ETA: My wife thinks he might be off his ADHD medication as to his inability to finish a single…

12

I thought it was great. YMMV.

13

I had always heard that Saget’s stand up, in contrast to his acting work, was really blue and really funny.

If the HBO special was any indication, that’s half right, anyway.

I’m willing to accept that it was a lousy night. There were several individual bits that made me laugh, and if you had a whole show of those I could see it being pretty funny.

14

My wife and I sat through the entire special because I kept telling her that Saget had a reputation as a very funny and filthy standup comedian. Christ, he was all over the place – and not in a good way. He was like a monkey flinging shit in a cage. I was hoping that Saget’s routine would be as funny as the Louis C.K. “Shameless” special, but he missed that mark by a country mile. I feel like an asshole now because I conned my wife into watching that entire show in the hopes it would be funny. My thanks to HBO and Bob Saget for making my decision to cancel my HBO subscription an easy one.

15

I also watched about ten minutes and found it painfully unfunny. I never saw a single episode of “Full House,” and I couldn’t stand Saget when he was dorking it up as the host of “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” but I was intrigued (and reluctant to believe it) when I first heard people claim that the real Bob Saget was unbelievably crude, filthy, and hilarious, the polar opposite of his lame family-friendly TV host persona.

He was certainly crude in this show— he appeared to be trying to surpass Scarface in "fuck"s-per-minute— but God, he just wasn’t funny at all. I haven’t seen a “comedy” performance so hacky and frown-inducing since I caught part of a Chelsea Handler monologue a while ago. If he were that bad at sucking dick too, I’d take my coke back.

16

There seems to be no middle ground. Either people think it was side splittingly funny, or they would have rather actually had their sides split open with a dull, rusty chopstick.

17

Really? I haven’t heard a single good thing about it from anyone, anywhere, ever. Where are these people?

18

See post #12. I didn’t think it was side-splittingly funny, but there were several points where I was laughing out loud, which is somewhat uncommon for me. I thought it was much more clever—and much less scattershot—than you folk are giving it credit for being, although I do admit that some bits didn’t work for me very well.

(As a referent, my favorite comedians include, but are not limited to, Eddie Izzard, Steven Wright, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, The Kids in the Hall, and The State.)

19

Thank you.

20

I second this. We laughed quite a bit and were saying WTF regularly, because it was a weird show that went all over the place. Overall, we thought it was above average for a one hour HBO stand up show. I also sat through Mike Epps’ one hour special, and now HE really sucked. Saget was pretty good. I liked it. So there’s two voices of dissent here.