That car’s a classic, man!! It’s old enough to legally buy alcohol in every state in the union. I have no idea what it cost new; I paid $2000 for it when it was nine years old and drove it till last year. It still runs, but now I’m the proud 3rd owner of a little pickup truck, which carries much more firewood than my '85 LTD ever could.
Scratchers?!? No way, pal, I buy Powerball Quick Picks whenever the pot hits $150 million or more. A man’s gotta have *some *standards.
Not only A-B beer, but when I buys wine, I buys Gallo. Mmmmm, cheap merlot.
Whew! Luckily, my choice of pc’s apparently spares me ass-peanuts. Now, that’s a relief.
Religion is idiotic, and religious people are rubes. All of them. Even you. There is no God. Open your eyes, damn it.
Stop talking about evolution, unless you’ve had at least 4 classes in evolutionary biology. If you can’t speak in detail about heterozygosity, crossing over, nucleic acid chemistry, protein chemistry, molecular homology, the Red Queen, and can speak with some proficiency about phylogenetics, at a bare minimum, WITHOUT having to look on Wikipedia, then just shut the fuck up already and let the people who DO understand it do their work, mkay?
A well-dressed man wears a wear a black suit only when:
a. He is attending a funeral.
b. He is attending an evening engagement that does not require black tie.
c. There is no c.
About those black, square-toed shitkickers that you wear from the club to a job interview to Grandmother’s funeral: They make you look like you lost half your foot in a sawmill accident. Meaning that you are not only low-bred, but lazy to boot.
A drink must contain at least a hint of dry vermouth to qualify as a Martini. Blueberry schnapps and whipped cream do not become a Martini simply by virtue of being served in a conical glass.
If you are studying the Starbucks menu as if it were Proust in the original French, kindly step aside so that I can order my coffee. Surely you understand that I’ve been here before, and that my time is valuable.
You look like a fucking advertisement for Express. Ooh, skinny jeans with a black pinstriped sports jacket. So edgy, so stylish. I love the fauxhawk, too. It really ties the douche together.
This is a so-called “fine-dining restaurant”. As a server, you should be able to tell me whether the sea bass is Chilean or Atlantic, whether there are oyster mushrooms in the wild mushroom risotto, and what brand of sparkling mineral water you sell for $15 a bottle. Or you should know to go ask the chef. Don’t just stand there and burble.
It’s not champagne if it didn’t come from Champagne. It’s sparkling wine. In either case, you don’t serve it in regular wine glasses. Flutes only, please.
Fuck pleather. Also fuck “faux” anything.
Storebought cookies/cakes/pies are not appropriate for holidays or birthdays. Costco cake is not “the best”.
Put your cans of cleanser and other bathroom cleaners up on the bathroom windowsill so that folks driving by may view your grubby cleaning supplies.
Slip-slap around the office sockless in sweaty, sticky sounding mules or flip-flops.
Pull the Chevrolet medal off the front of your SUV and replace it with a Cadillac one, hoping no one will notice.
Is this stuff elitist enough for you?
really? i was heavily into sports in high school and early college until i fucked up my back bad enough they were not sure if I would walk again …
That being said, I had the best fun watching an ex roomies basket ball league at the Mystic Athletic Club or whatever the place is called … they paid to play BBall and had a blast doing it. These overpaid morons that bullshitted their way through school to get a “scholarship” and go pro are a waste of time money and skin. Whining about only getting 8 million $US a year, cry me a river, build a fucking bridge and get over it.
You really shouldn’t be in a “fine dining” restaurant if you believe in marketing fiction like Chilean sea bass. You probably shocked that poor minion out of a year’s growth!
I have a very nice apartment. It is very well decorated. Please don’t buy me gifts of “home decor items” at the 99 cent store with the expectation that I will cherish them and display them in home. No, they do not look like the other items in my home even if the colors are the same. To anyone with functioning eyes they are cheap shoddy knicknacks and there is a reason they aren’t selling for a whole dollar. If you must spend less than a dollar on my gift because “it’s the thought that counts”, think of a candy bar.
I give to charities. And sometimes close family members. Not you. If I happen to mention that I gave x amount of money to a certain charity your reaction should not be to tell me what YOU could have done with that money or how much you needed that exact amount of money for something or to otherwise hint or suggest that I somehow should’ve donated it to YOU. It’s tacky and it’s suprising how many people do this. I now understand why people donate anonymously.
And speaking of money, it’s tiresome to listen to you whine about the cost of every single individual item with a price that you encounter during the course of an average day.
If your “works of art” feature Disney characters they aren’t real art no matter how much you paid for them. If they were painted by Thomas Kinkade, ditto, double.
To the OP of this thread: The fact that you are an expert in the ordering jargon at a restaurant where you shout your order into a clown’s mouth does not qualify you as “elite” in any way, shape or form. Sorry, I had to say it.
And if any of you ever get to a really nice restaurant, don’t make constant snarky comments about the prices and don’t get silly and touristy and ask the waiter to photograph you with your food, it annoys your fellow diners within earshot.
It could be any one of a number of species within the toothfish/icefish group, they all get lumped together commerically. They also store waxy esters in their flesh, which are indigestible by us and give many people diarrhea. But now I’m being pedantic, not elitist.
The right people know how much an NPR car decal goes for. Otherwise, telling someone how much money you gave to some charity is pretty gauche. There are better ways to remind someone that you have more money than they do.
