Obviously, he transcends conventional numbering. That is how great he is.
(seriously: probably, various mods, admins, and fast-signer-uppers?)
unleashes Floozy powers
Oh Cecil, you have such a big brain…and you know what they say about guys with big brains…
Can I…can I…touch your brain? Just very lightly?
Trancends? I’m sure he absolutely scoffs at it. After all, Ed Zotti came in at #6 a full month earlier, Cecil in his great and typically humble fashion would probably never give it a second thought.
It’s obvious how to summon the Perfect Master:
Argue as to the accuracy of his columns.
Most of his posts have been in response to such criticism.
When was the last time he posted? Has he paid?
If he hasn’t paid, he can’t post. Fair is fair. 
Nah, he was just fashionably late.
Cecil was originally assigned the first number, but the system had a brain fart and number one got corrupted. Now it doesn’t belong to anybody.
Ahhhh, the corruption of absolute power, even the number one couldn’t handle it. Seriously though, thanks.
You are, Number Six.
I am not a number! I am a free man!
Hey, this gives me a though - we could send Rover after him!
Probably wouldn’t work. The master would look up from his Popeye’s seasoned green beans just long enough to wonder who thought a giant bubble would make a good evil henchman, then poke it with a spork.