Let us concoct a scheme...

…to get The Great Master himself to post here in MPSIMS.

Why? Well, a brief search reveals he’s only done it ten times. Also, it’s not quite two AM, sleep has eluded me, and - well, why not?

So: How shall we lure The Great and Honorable Cecil into frolicking through our fun- and frivolity-filled forum? Anyone know his favorite foods?

I just assume he is banned. There are banned posters who post more often.

Would the Master ever say anything that is merely mundane, or purely pointless? I think not! Those few times must have been when he lost his way … :slight_smile:

Maybe he was banned for being a sock?

Or for being that which must not be spoken. He posts stuff and gets people talking but never replies.

What were the ten things he posted? Is there any pattern to why he posted those times?

We could set a big Havahart trap, and bait it with a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica and a red correcting pen, and beer.

The one I recall was that someone issued sincere praises to him.

You mean him that is all-knowing, all-seeing and the Supreme Master of all knowledge. He Who Can get Away With Wearing These
Not That he Would, But Could?

He whose very breath speaks of wisdom and eloquence?

How the hell would we go about heaping praise on him?

:wink:

Like this.

What we need to do is find out what Cecil wants for Christmas (or Chanukah ;j ) and after he posts it, well, then we’ll buy it for him. So Unca’ Cecil all you have to do is tell me what you want and we (Dopers) will do all that is in our power to get it delivered to the Reader in time for Christmas.

Of course he is probably too smart to fall for something that simplistic.

All we need to do is ask the stupidest, most moronic, ignorant question ever…and then NOT ANSWER IT! Ahahah! Cecil will be so driven by his quest to quell ignorance that he won’t be able to stop himself answering it! :smiley:

So…can anyone think of such a question?

Yeah, but folk will get an-gry. :slight_smile:

Yeah, but everyone knows how much a hen weighs.
I say we take Ed Zotti hostage and demand one million posts in MPSIMS for his safe return.

(The Above example still works if you subsitute Peter Parker as Spider-Man, more or less.)

Oooh, now this? This, I like.

Hm. But now, how do we get Ed in here?

Oh great and powerful Cecil Adams. Would you please grace this thread with your exalted presence?
Never hurts to try. :smiley:

I just like the “perfect master” under his user ID. Makes me giggle every time for some unknown reason

Wouldn’t it be cool if Cecil entered the Death Pool?

Foolish mortals. I have a hunch (just a hunch mind you) that the great and powerful, all knowing master routinly participates in discussions and debates. I believe he does so under a different name (or possibly several), protecting both his identity and the integrety of the discussions (probably uses a made up location as well). If he did not use a pseudonym it would totally distract from the serious (ok, sometimes not so serious) work of fighting ignorance. Any post containing his original screen name would quickly fall into people groveling like -

Watching the Straight Dope tv show was my first introduction to the Great Mr Adams. I don’t know if it was the information presented or the little blue guy (remember the little blue guy?) that got me hooked, but soon after I was reading the articles and books and such and spreading the news about this site. Over the years it has remained a constant in my ever changing existance, one that I hope to keep for many years to come. If I ever were to get the chance, I’m afraid that words would fail me, I could only utter a simple “thank you” to be echoed by each and every one of the teeming millions that read and enjoy and spread word of all media that the Straight Dope produces (get busy on those book sales people) but, no matter how humble or sincere, the words “thank you” could never truly express the level of gratitude that I feel. Mods, please pass my (our) sentiment along, and Unca’ Cece, thanks again for everything.

If nd_n8’s post doesn’t attract The Master in, nothin’ will …

If he posts, he posts. If not, I was still sincere and I believe I’m not alone in the sentiment. Until then a thought occured to me: I wonder who the “Other” 30 people are? As far as I can tell by mouse-overing his name, Cecil is the 31st member of the board (a little high I would think but I’m sure he has more pots on the stove than SDMB). I seem to be #56145, I wonder who the other original members of the SDMB are? Who is #1?