Your husband may have a double life, because he sounds a lot like mine, who isn’t great at doing household related things without explicitly being asked. For example, dinner is every day at 6:30. Not most days - every single day, the goal is to get food into the kids by 6:30 on a weeknight. If I don’t ask before leaving that he have dinner ready by 6:30 and outline exactly what he should make and with what and how, he just won’t do it. And even when I ask him to do it, I have to text or call to remind him what time it is. You know, so he can make the dinner he agreed to in order to make sure I don’t have to do anything.
I put a list of easy to make meals he can choose from for which I have committed to always having ingredients right there on the fridge. If I’m not home by 6, he can just choose a meal and make it, so dinner is ready for everyone on time. Does he use it? No. Because he still “wasn’t sure if you were going to do something else instead. Next time you need me to cook something, just text me and let me know - I want to help.” Dude, if you actually really wanted to help you’d suck it up and just cook something without me having to call you and explain in stupid detail what to cook, how, when, timing, etc. Unfortunately I think this is one of those things we will never resolve. Every time we have a sit down and I ask him to figure this stuff out, he puts me back in the manager seat again. I’m not sure how I was nominated to Director of Dinner and Everything Else, but I was and I hate it.