Let's gripe about social inequality between the sexes

The BBQ Pit
21

I agree with this. I think if most men had the option (and expectation) of wearing a variety of outfits throughout the month, they would prefer to keep things simple. A well groomed, sharp dressed man, doesn’t need to spend near the money and time shopping and on hair appointments etc, that a sharped dressed woman does. And although I woundn’t want to have to wear a tie all day, I think that is more comfortable than nylons and heels. I think that all things considered the men have the benefit when it comes to business attire.

Another thing I think men have the advantage over women is being able to walk into bar, take a seat a the bar, and order a drink without anyone wondering what on earth he is doing there. When I do that, I feel obligated to explain myself.

The bartenders often give me such a strange look I have to tell them, “I am meeting some people for dinner, but I am early. So I thought I would just have a drink while I wait for them. If I sit here at the bar, they will be able to see me when they come in.” Once I explain that, most will stop staring. I have never met a man that felt the need to explain why he is sitting at the bar.

Man goes into a new bar by himself=he must want to relax and have a drink, watch some sports.

Woman goes into a new bar by herself=she must want to get picked up.

Same with going to the race track, or off track betting place. If a man goes to the track by himself, he must be interested in betting the horses.

A woman goes to the racetrack by herself, she must either:

Be married to a trainer or jockey and is alone because they are working.

Work in the industry, and is there is some type of professional capacity.

Be looking to get guys to buy her drinks.

Be looking to get picked up.

Is a trainer or jockey groupie.

When I am asked which of these things I am, and I say I just love to watch horses run and enjoy the challenge of handicapping, people are surprised, that idea just never occured to them. But if I was a man, that would be the default assumption.

22

I wouldn’t, if I asked you out.

But if you had asked me out, I’d make no move to pick up the check, unless it sat there an embarrassingly long time. I’ve always thought the onus of paying for an event lay with the host, the one who extended the invitation.

Once a couple is in a relationship, of course, finances may well dictate that you split expenses for regular dates; even then, I’d be happier with swapping off: “I’ll get this one, you get the next one,” kind of thing. Splitting the check while on a date just seems vaguely unromantic and nit-picky. I don’t mind paying; I don’t mind my date paying; I mind trying to read the receipt to remember who had the extra side order of butternut squash.

23

Ok, I’m back with more. These range on either side of the spectrum.

  • Clothing sizes. Women’s clothing sizes are stupid.

  • Women in literature in general, I find. Women in literature often have to “be” something - a strong wife, a strong mother, a successful executive. Whereas men just have to be, it seems.

  • Women in gaming - similar problem. I neither like to read literature about females nor play games where females are the lead, generally. I don’t need to look at female sex objects. (I’d rather play games like Prince of Persia and look at male sex objects. ;))

  • I won’t even get into porn and how much it annoys me that there is so little porn for women out there. We have to resort to gay porn to see our share of man-flesh.

  • The opposite of the kid thing: All women are supposed to like kids, want to hang out with them and coo over them, and we’re all supposed to be ready to take up babysitting duties at the drop of a hat. I started a thread not too long ago: “Am I the only female that doesn’t go ga-ga over babies?” and was gratified to see many women respond that they felt the same way.

  • I agree with the menstrual thing, YUCK. The most I think it’s OK to say is “I’m not feeling well, it’s that time of the month” and that’s a valid thing to say. No further details!

  • Maternity leave as opposed to paternity leave. What, men don’t want to be with their new baby?

  • Re the sandals thing, I don’t see why men can’t wear sandals, with the right clothes. Suits don’t go well with sandals, and I don’t think women should wear sandals with their suits, either.

24

Agreed. But you make up for it with having a wide selection of shoes to choose from.

Men’s shoes? In my size? Mythological creatures, those.

25

Actually, they do. There are plenty of ads that try to make men think they’re less manly if they don’t buy Product X. It’s amazing the sort of hypermasculine self-image that gets projected at men, while commercials aimed at women portray them as bumbling and inadequate. And that’s not even getting into the deodorant commercials aimed at young men.

26

Actually, I like this. It make getting dressed for work much easier:
Shirt clean? Check.
Slacks clean? Check
Colors look okay together? Check
I’m good.

My wife, OTOH, has to go through several combinations because of all the options.

What I hate, is how every woman at the grocery store feels like they are qualified to give me child rearing advice if my wife isn’t with the boys and me. What the hell? I’ve been doing this for a couple of years now, and the older boy is very well behaved. Did you notice how he never once cried because I wouldn’t buy Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, unlike your hellspawn?

27

I’m not hugely interested in babies, and this turns into a problem for a lot of people. One of the managers where I work brought in his baby daughter a while back, and I was the only female there and the only person who was not fawning over the kid. I did get the “are you an unfeeling alien from outer space?” look from the father of the kid, but I did at least try to make some interested noises and I asked questions about her. Apparently that wasn’t enough.

I’ve noticed that some guys just can’t handle that I’m female and smart and feel the need to put me down because of it. The same manager thinks he’s being subtle about his revulsion toward my interest in things other than being barefoot and pregnant, and the latest one had to do with handwriting. His handwriting is terrible, but somehow I can still manage to read it, whereas mine is legible and mostly neat, but it’s never going to be neat and clean enough to be a “handwriting” font prototype. One day he looks down at my notes and remarks on my handwriting. “Oh, you know what they say about people who write well, don’t you? They say that they’re not always as they appear. See, my handwriting is messy and hard to read, but what you see is what you get.” I respond politely with “I had a lot of teachers in the earlier grades that would fail you if they couldn’t read what you wrote, so I tried hard to make my handwriting legible.” Nope, that wasn’t good enough, as my legible handwriting clearly showed that I was not being forward with who I was and that I must have some sneaky ulterior motives behind my generally pleasant (and somewhat boring and geeky) demeanor. It couldn’t possibly be that my personality may be more multifaceted or that I have a lot more interests than can fit into a five minute conversation! :rolleyes:

28

Yeah, I hate that, too. He’s my kid, lady, and you can take your “It takes a village” crap that you’d never try on a woman, and stick it.

Oh, and because I’m out with my kid, doesn’t mean I’m an access dad, looking to pick up chicks with him as a prop.

29

Can you give me an example?

30

Hear! Hear! Is two weeks too much to ask when my wife had to have a C-section?

31

The Totota Truck commercials come to mind, which are pretty much in the same vein as most truck commercials, where you have the “big dog/ little dog” set up. I would also mention the Enzyte commercials, except I’m pretty sure those aren’t serious.

32

Besides the whole “you don’t really love your wife, if you don’t buy her diamonds every anniversary” crap that DeBeers has foisted upon us? Thank gods Mrs Magill doesn’t buy into that crap.

I could point out fast food commercials. They’re always good for the “Real Men like Massive Hamburgers and Giganto-Fries” commercials.

33

I haven’t noticed those. I suppose I don’t watch TV at the right times.

I’ve seen diamond commercials, but none seemed particularly negative to me.

34

Purses. The traditionality and acceptability thereof for women.

Specifically, that there is no traditional object I’d be allowed, as a man, to take into a movie theatre without raising suspicions of sneaking in snacks or soda…which is what I’d be doing with it, of course. But women can get away with that, whereas if I tried to do it with a backpack or satchel or fannypak I bet I’d be found out.

In general, it seems like a useful item to be able to have, in between a wallet and a backpack, but if it were all that useful I’d have found a way to either wear one or find a substitute like a man’s handbag with strap (I’m sure they make stuff like that.)

35

I hate it when a husband is spending time alone with his child/children and people say he’s “babysitting!” No, he’s not!

36

Diamond commercials suck eggs. I mean, really, it’s always:

“Show her how much you love her.” (Cut to diamond picture.)
“Celebrate…the love of your life.”(Cut to diamond picture.)
“For when you need to say the most.”(Cut to diamond picture.)

Etc.

Slithy Tove, this is an awesome topic btw.

37

Maybe you don’t like them, but I don’t think they are insulting and demeaning as with a commercial where some woman is embarrassed because there is a streak on a plate or leftover food smells because she didn’t use the right plastic bag.

I wouldn’t have as strong an objection to a commercial where the dishes are sparkling because the woman used the right kind of detergent. Because that’s not negative.

Similarly, I don’t object to the smart woman who chooses the right hotel – I’m annoyed by the the use of the idiot husband who has no idea what he’s doing.

38

I don’t think those ads are aimed at men, but at women, in the hopes that they WILL buy into that crap and get their husbands to shell out.

I’d like to think most of us (I’m a girl) are not like that.

39

(bolding mine)

Wait, what? Um, I don’t know if this makes you feel any better or not, but we (women) constantly get parenting advice, even before we have the stupid things! (Children, that is.) I’ve had women in the produce section hand me a bunch of broccoli and tell me I’d better keep up my folic acid levels so when I decide to have a baby, my body will be ready. (This was when my kids weren’t with me in the store, obviously.) The “baby bump” is like a red flag for the Pregnancy Junkies to share every bit of lore they’ve ever heard. And it never stops. Potty training, food choices, exercise, study habits, playgroups, schools - I even had one woman suggest to me in a Walgreens that it was about time to buy my son some condoms (he’s 14 now) as he’s “growing up so fast.”

I mean, jeesh! Do I look *that *incompetent? Trust me, this one’s not a gender thing. If anything, be honored that you’re another “mom” despite your stubble.

40

That doesn’t sound sexist to me. That sounds more like he’s a garden-variety jerk and/or moron.

I’d bet if you could get honest opinions of men in your department, they’d also think he’s a jerk. Or a moron.