Let's make a Magic 8 Ball!

Alright, so I’ve been meaning to waste some time and make the ultimate in digital Magic 8 balls. I’m bored with the “Outlook hazy” and the “Yes” “It shall be” etc. I want to make an eightball for the ages. And so I appeal to you, my SDMB friends to help me with the witty lines.

No line is too perverse, cruel, mean, etc. Or too uplifting, too positive, too gung ho!

Let’s do it! So here’s how we’ll do it. Give the 8 ball response for the person before you, then ask your question and shake the ball. The next person will answer yours with what his or her 8 ball says. Capiche?

Alright, so I want to know, “Will I get my work done today?”

shakes his magic 8 ball to see what it says.

Wibble

:smiley:

Oh, a question, right…

“Will Futurama ever definitively return to our screens, and go on to become the longest running TV show of all time?”

Shake, shake, shake…

“It will happen if you make it so”

Should I change my underwear more often?

“If you have to ask, the answer is yes.”
Should I have asked that cute blonde to the prom ten years ago?

“Do not ask that which you do not truly want answered.”
Will Mike and Ness* wind up buying a place nearby us?

*no Social D jokes, please.

Only in months with an “R” in them.

Will I see Mr. X before the 4th of July?

Which Year?
Will my cat ever leave my sofa alone?

“Do not question your master! WHACK Now fetch more catnip, biped servitor!” (This Magic 8-Ball may have been modified- it bears claw-marks)

How long till I die?

4.5"

Should I go blonde? shake shake

Don’t worry about it; it’ll never happen.

Will my family like my boyfriend?
(I’m taking him home from college for the first time this weekend, after a year of dating.)

“The stars will be more inclined to give a favorable answer if you ply them with liquor.”

Will my brother ever get a job?

HEY! You SKIPPED me!! :angry:

Yes, but bring pie.

No, but eat pie.

Will my softball team go undefeated this season?

3.1415926535897932384626433832795

What flavour pie?

Only if MLB steriod investigations reach new hights.

Raspberry jam with a layer of beef, onions, potatoes and peas.

What’s that smell?

You. :smiley:

Why didn’t Zhahava424 post a question?

Thank you, come again!

(I shook an actual Magic 8 Ball for that answer.)

What will I see on my next trip?

Answer cloudy. Try again later.

Should I go to Vegas this OCtober?