If OpalCat were still here, you’d be in BIG trouble!
I just thought of something, the Atomic Earth Blaster. It’s an invention I saw in a book I read as a child:
The Atomic Earth Blaster (AEB) is a machine that looks like a rocket, but pointing down. When you switch it on, it tunnels into the ground but instead of digging, it BLASTS all matter - and I mean EVERYTHING - out of its way.
When it gets to the Core it is destroyed but causes a Giant gusher of molten iron to spurt to the surface - man, you don’t want to be standing next to that!
Now this doesn’t exactly solve the original problem, but maybe you could find a way to cool it at the surface, then put it back. Or most of it, you will want to save some to build stuff. That way it pays for itself!
PS I don’t know when the Atomic Earth Blaster (AEB) was invented but it was a long time ago - years and years. I bet there’s a good chance there’s one sitting around in a warehouse somewhere, collecting dust. We need to get it out, crank it up and have the Courage to use the tools that are available to us!
Yeah, but but but . . .
You say it self-destructed when it’s job was done.
So how many more of them were ever built?
Was there just one? Or was there a production facility that built a bunch?
Were the plans preserved, or was it lost to history?
(ETA: This was a Tom Swift Jr. book that I missed. After the first half-dozen or so in the series, they began to get silly. What was the point of building this Atomic Earth Blaster in the first place? What was he trying to accomplish? What problem was he trying to solve?)
I think just having an Atomic Earth Blaster, and proving it works (a lot of naysayers out there) is reward enough.
I don’t remember what it was built for. Tom Swift Jr. was one of our Great teenage scientists. You just couldn’t stop him inventing all these Genius inventions. My favorite was the one that turned sunlight into air, which he used on the Moon. Throw away that spacesuit! (I think the air is gone now; something to do with tidal forces whooshing it away.)
Mining iron…the hard way.
It has to be a Tungsten-Neodymium alloy. We need the magnetic field to be ridiculously strong, so that we can build simple hoverboards.
Could we please set aside Comical Jokes for the time being?
I have an exciting new idea, and this might be the best one yet. We make a Hero’s Engine out of the Earth (Terra) and use it to increase the speed of rotation, flinging all that hot liquid into space.
Hero was an Ancient scientist who was the first to harness Steam Power. His Engine looked like this:
(You should see a picture of it - if it doesn’t show, I’m afraid there’s a technical reason but I can’t fix it, this has been bugging me for a long time now, shows how far we’ve come - not far at all!)
Now, suppose we scale this thing up and stick pipes into the ground at regular intervals around the Equator? Say one pipe per mile - Circumference of Terra is 24,901 miles = 24,901 pipes. These will be inserted at an angle, so when they strike Magma it will spurt outward and increase the planet’s rotation, just like Hero intended. The faster it goes, the farther the liquid core is flung out until it reaches Escape Velocity and is harmlessly consigned to the Vastness of Space. (Just to be safe, evacuate everyone living nearby! I’m not crazy!)
When all the energy is expended, Earth can coast to the Normal rotational speed. And we’re left with a bonus, which is a hollow sphere - we send in a cleaning crew, mop up whatever’s left inside, and it’s like we have a whole new planet’s worth of Real Estate, lots of problems solved like more food for a hungry population, new tourism opportunities etc.! (Not forgetting Monorails, which will now be practical since everything in there will be upside down - a problem sure, but one I think the Best Minds can “iron out”.)
I challenge all of you to do better.
(Preamble to latest post: I haven’t updated this for a while, and if you are one of those lazy people who skips to the end when reading a thread, please go back and read the beginning because this is important!
Right now, I am incorporating in this post a letter I have sent to one of America’s most respected “movers and shakers”, ex-Congressman Ted Yoho (Pirate American) pleading my case to get the ball (in this case, Our Planet) rolling in this matter, which I fear will remain stalled unless we bring some staunch allies into our orbit. So please read it, and if you can suggest other influential types who might come to our aid, by all means copy and paste and let a thousand flowers bloom like Chairman Mao said. I will let you know what Ted replies. Very excited to be moving forward!)
Ex-US Rep. Ted Yoho
c/o US Congress
Washington, DC (please forward)
Dear Ex-Cong. Yoho,
Hello! Let me first congratulate you for leaving Congress, “America’s Madhouse”, in a timely fashion. I figure you were itching to make your exit from Animal House, and get yourself a real job as a lobbyist, or whatever part of private enterprise offered the best deal, in time to preserve your sanity while still young enough to cash in, having built up enough access to the corridors of power to attract the high bidders. Smart move! I’m especially impressed with how you got your name in the papers by giving that kook Alexandria “Octopussy” Cortez the beatdown she deserved. Believe me, she got taken down a peg, and don’t listen to the Fake News media who would have us believe you got “owned”. You were a Class Act all the way.
I am writing about a matter that concerns me greatly, in hopes that I can get you on board now that your future stretches out ahead of you, to use your considerable influence to help resolve the Molten Core of Terra (Earth) situation that threatens us all. To wit, we all know that our planet, in the billions of years of its existence, has somehow failed to cool to a solid mass. Wrong on so many levels! There’s the bothersome matter of the aforementioned Core, a huge blob of hot liquid iron and rock that refuses to stabilize and causes problems, including destructive volcanoes and other phenomena like earthquakes that plague us on a regular basis. Think about this: the Earth’s outer layer, the Crust, on which we all live is but a tiny fraction of the Matter making up our Planet, and who can tell but when it might soon sink into the lower boiling magma layer, destroying all life and all of Man’s (and Woman’s) works we have struggled so hard to create?
I watched a documentary recently that claimed the Iron Core was necessary because it is responsible for the Magnetic Field which surrounds Terra, which deflects the harmful plasma the Sun bombards us with. Hogwash! I’m pretty sure the Sun has no blood, hence no plasma. How dumb do they think we are?
In any event, I see no reason why we humans, as Masters of Earth, should not set our sights on bringing the Cooling process of our home to its self-evident conclusion. I have spent a great deal of time lately thinking up ways to do this, but I won’t waste my steam until I can get some powerful allies such as yourself in my corner, because this is obviously going to take a major effort, and right now with all the squabbling going on in the world it definitely seems like an uphill climb. However I have been focusing my efforts on some of our more Powerful world leaders, and I think Bolsonaro for one will be an easy sell. Tentatively my name for this effort is The Cool Squad, but if you have a better suggestion of course I am all ears; I’m guessing Public Relations is right there in your wheelhose so by all means let’s spitball this and see what we can come up with.
Thanks a million for your attention. Right now is Early days but as they say, a journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step. (A league = 3.45234 miles, so the Circumference of Terra (Earth) at the Equator being 24,902 miles is 7.21307866548486 leagues, if my calculations are correct, which doesn’t seem so bad; this could definitely be a rallying point if we are to make any progress.)
Best Regards,
J. Vincent Hatch (“Pete”)
If you really want to solidify it, go grab Pluto (which you seem to be so fond of) and bring it down here. It is very cold, so all you have to do is drill deep holes in the Earth, carve off chunks of Pluto and drop them down in the holes. Problem solved.
Well, as one of the Board’s resident Saucy Neds I’m sure you are having yourself a jolly chuckle, but I might point out your idea, if practical, which I doubt it is, could be done more easily if we used one of Saturn’s moons such as Eucephalus, which is closer by and would not be missed (Saturn has lots of them).
But I’m sure a saucebox like yourself has better uses of your time, like thinking up new jokes about Uranus, so I won’t be offended if you fail to take me seriously. I totally get it - maybe the Earth won’t blow up for a thousand years; we’ll all be dead by then so why should we care, right Mister Smarty-Smart Wise Guy McBrain?
You’re off by a factor of 1000 there. But if a journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step, you need to start your journey with 7.213 steps. A single step won’t do.
Are you sure it’s off? If so I will have to send my Texas Instruments calculator in for an adjustment.
But the main point is, in order for this to get traction you have to fool people into thinking it’ll be easy and cheap, which it definitely won’t be but once the papers are signed there’s no turning back!
Look, I’m getting tired of the neighbor kids looking at me funny when I yell this, but I’ve got to repeat myself yet again:
“The Nazis had some wonderful ideas.”
Like them, let’s ditch the whole molten center thing, and go with the Führer’s preference: The Hollow Earth. He had his Aryan Hordes searching for the entrance, and claimed it was in Antarctica.
Not only would that solve the continental drift issues, but it would open up a lot of prime vacation land.
I see what you are trying to do here, and it won’t work. There’s a thing called “Godric’s Exception”, something like that, that says as soon as someone mentions the Nazis, you have to shut down the whole casino.
I would say “nice try” except it isn’t nice at all. Now it becomes clear, the forces working in the background to derail my efforts; well too bad because I won’t be so easily thwarted, it just saddens me really. Anyway, happy St. Paddy’s Day.
That is Wednesday. Today is Monday.
I know it’s Monday; I’m sorry you aren’t enjoying the holiday but you don’t have to spoil it for others.
A guy with pencils coming out of his back. I’m sure it’s significant. Can we please get this streetcar back on the track?
Beware the March of Dimes.
Or something like that.
“Et Number Tu, Brute?”
IANA seismologist, but if I have learned anything from candies, the soft gooey center of our planet ought to be delicious.