Here’s a list of the original Ferengi Rules of Acquisition from ST:DS9: Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition
Hard to improve on, but let’s try! Let’s add to the list! To get us started:
“A Ferengi’s word is worth its weight in latinum!” 
- If you can take their money once, you can do it again. (A necessary corollary to The First Rule Of Acquisition)
Pay bribes with caution, for very offer can be refused, every agreement betrayed.
Buy low, sell high. Buy all and name your price.
Even for the wife of a big-lobed Ferengi, oomox is comes after profit. For his mistresses, it is their first duty.
Don’t sue poor people—they don’t have any money.
Remember, “He would have died eventually, anyway.”
Listen to your “gut,” but your heart is just a pump.
Money isn’t everything … just kidding.
Remember in your private life that it is not about money. Instead it is about the money.
Amassing a fortune is meaningless without a means of securing it.
Blasphemy! Amassing a fortune under any circumstances is never meaningless. You sound like a hue-man!
Where no market exists, one can be created.
The truth is sacred. Employing it in a commercial transaction would profane it.
What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is negotiable.
Blood is thicker than water, and latinum is thicker than either.
If you sell a man a fish, you feed a man for one day. If you teach a man to fish, you lose a steady customer.
He who profits from both enemies during war has a nice chunk of the action.
Prostitution: you have it, you sell it – you still have it after you sell it.
The best black market is a place no customer wants to go – they HAVE to go.
A fair deal is what happens when you just aren’t trying.
Man, you guys are good. 
Forget whether it’s half-empty or half-full! It has lipstick on it! I demand my meal be comped!
A great hue-mon teacher once said “No one can own the stars.” Stupid hue-mons.
Sometimes, schemes are like females. Leave them naked and in plain sight and everybody will ignore them. But, cover them up and everybody tries to uncover them.
The proudest and saddest day in a father’s life is when his son first manages to cheat him.
A fool and his latinum are yours for the taking.
Trust no one. Your employees, your friends, and your relatives are all stealing from you. You should be stealing from them.
Some of the best things in life are free-the wise Ferengi can gain new profit without risk or capital outlay.
Death is only another opportunity for profit.
Any businessman can sell worthless goods to fools. A true Ferengi can sell wothless goods to fools at ridiculously high prices and have them beg for the chance to buy more.
An apprentice will chase away a poor customer to deal with a rich one. A master will find a way to fleece both customers.
A Klingon values honor above all else. A true Ferengi will find a way to sell it to him.
In the course of a long life, a wise Ferengi will be prepared to abandon his merchandise several times. But make sure you periodically deposit your latinum in a sound Ferengar bank.
This is fun. But BrainGlutton and now DocCathode keep writing Rules I wish I’d thought of. So…
“Fairness” is a delusion of lesser beings.
Every species has its vanity. With Hue-mons it is curiosity. Klingons, honor. Cardassians, control. Romulans, conquest. Ferengar, lust. None of which is particularly helpful with the goddamn Vulcans, until pon farr. Then it’s all gravy.
Hunger, sunder, plunder – run.
If you don’t exploit them, some other Ferengar will come along and beat you to it and make a huge profit and then gloat unbearably while getting your mate to perform oomox fully clothed. Is that what you want?
Remember the Latinum Rule: He who hoards his latinum is exempt from the rules.
If you love your latinum, sometimes you must set it free. Consider opening an account with the Bank of Ferengar. High fees, low interest and security. This Rule Of Acquisition is paid for by the Bank of Ferengar.
Right after I hit “Enter” I remembered that Ferengi females chew their mates food for them. So now I want to change “gravy” to “pre-chewed roast Cardassian vole puree.”
You will not have the lobes for business until you have made your second fortune.
Profit is the universal solvent, it disolves all problems.