Let's name some SDMB posting 'moves'

[DrDeth]

@running_coach

Sure, cut a man …

snipped.

[armedmonkey]

@running_coach

Sure, cut a man when he’s down.

It’s better than cutting him when he’s “up”.

[leftfield6]

@running_coach

Sure, cut a man when he’s down.

Clearly, it’s the best time to cut him. I mean, shit, he is already down so, no chasing or tackling needed. This seems so obvious.

[Archeonomist]

@Gatopescado

The “Paper Towel Tube” defense.

What was this one about?

[Chefguy]

The Google-Perplexed Complex: wherein a poster feels the need to post a question in GQ without bothering to try an online search first. The question is usually longer than a Google query. On second thought, I like the term Yahoo Yahoo better.

[TruCelt]

@Gatopescado

The “Paper Towel Tube” defense.

@Archeonomist

What was this one about?

Now you’ve gone and done it . . .:eek:

[Biggirl]

@Archeonomist

What was this one about?

DO NOT ASK!

The Tantalizer- Poster who tells another not to look up, ask about or search for a thing knowing this will just make everyone want to see it that much more.

[DrDeth]

“Can’t be Arsed”: The poster whose OP is

“What do you guys think about this”? (Where “this” is a link to youtube or some other linky"

[Biggirl]

The Disappearing Artist– Vigorously argue a vile, stupid and wrong point, dig yourself in really good and tight, then disappear for a long while. Pop up one day and hope everybody forgot what a nasty person you are.

[Green_Bean]

@Biggirl

DO NOT ASK!

The Tantalizer- Poster who tells another not to look up, ask about or search for a thing knowing this will just make everyone want to see it that much more.

The Green Bean - Where a lovely poster kindly provides a link withheld by Biggirl.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14724158&postcount=2430

[Biggirl]

@Green_Bean

The Green Bean - Where a lovely poster kindly provides a link withheld by Biggirl.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14724158&postcount=2430

For some reason The Tantalizer reminds me of you and a certain stretched anus.

DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE STRETCHED ANUS!!!

Oh alright. It was goatse.

[OneCentStamp]

Tashabotting: retelling a personal story while twisting the facts thereof to make you look like a victim/heroine. When promptly owned by someone digging up the real facts with five minutes of search-fu, double down. When pitted for your repeated lies, drop by the pit thread with a transparently desperate “yay.” Make that “yay” be your last post for…(checks)…seven years and counting.

[Archeonomist]

Thanks

No more questions your honor! This has been enough for one day.

[Fenris]

The Ducati
or
Anything You Can Do, I’ve Already Done Bigger/More Expensive/Tougher.

Sample:

Poster 1: Yay! I just bought my first house! It’s a little one room house, but it’s my first! I’m so excited!

The Ducati: When I bought my first house, I paid for it with gold pirate treasure I got fighting cannibals in the South Seas when my private yacht beached on a deserted island. My first house was only a 3 wing, 87 room mansion designed by Frank Lloyd Wright…and he built it for me, personally, on that island that was once owned by the cannibals. Oh, and we built a moat and filled it with Dom Perignon White Gold, '95…an impertent little vintage, but it was a first home and I was only 17 at the time, fresh from my double-stint in the Green Berets AND the Navy Seals.

[Green_Bean]

the Sockubus - When a poster has an off-board person post in support of their position and it backfires hilariously. Whether the Sockubus is an actual different person or not is irrelevant.

[Fenris]

@bup

Those are both great.

Another, that someone probably mentioned but I missed, is the “disprove an irrelevant part of the assertion, therefore believing one has disproved the assertion.” Well, it needs a pithier name.

Like:

“Owning a gun actually *increases *one’s odds of dying violently. In fact, cops are shot more by their own revolvers than anyone else’s weapon.”

“Cops don’t usually carry revolvers. Most of them carry Glocks, less bulky than a revolver, easier to draw, with a magazine in the handle. Revolvers are Hollywood-lore.”

“Whatever. The point is cops get shot by their own guns.”

“You’re basing your whole argument on myth, dude. Learn something about guns.”

There is also the "Don’t get all TECHNICAL on me, [sub]especially if it makes your case[/sub].

So:

Poster 1: IF WE DIDN’T HAVE FULLY AUTOMATIC ASSAULT GUNS, THIS SHOOTING WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPEN! THE FOUNDERS DIDN’T MEAN THIS!!!

Poster 2: Um…he used a revolver. As a matter of fact, the shooting was with a black powder revolver, just like Thomas Jefferson used. And it’s not an automatic weapon or an assault weapon.

Poster 1: That’s just JARGON! Don’t pollute the thread with jargon!

(NOTE: I used the ‘gun’ example because your post reminded me of it, but it’s not just guns. Anti-vaxxers use this all the time as do global warming deniers. )

[Gatopescado]

@OneCentStamp

Tashabotting: retelling a personal story while twisting the facts thereof to make you look like a victim/heroine. When promptly owned by someone digging up the real facts with five minutes of search-fu, double down. When pitted for your repeated lies, drop by the pit thread with a transparently desperate “yay.” Make that “yay” be your last post for…(checks)…seven years and counting.

Damn!

[jimbuff314]

The Clueless Outrageur:

Poster A posts something intended to demonstrate some point in such an obvious manner that all understand, except of course for

Poster B who either misunderstands or fails to bring 2 brain cells to the party, hoping to coast by on looks alone. (On a message board!)

Newest canonical example:

Originally Posted by Giraffe
Those people are the worst! Always calling out other people for posting behavior they don’t like! It’s just disgusting. The only thing that could possibly make it worse would be if they dressed up their criticism in holier-than-thou sanctimony. That would be really annoying.

Thank goodness we don’t have any posters who do that.

Sorry if that touched a nerve there. Although, as I said, there’s a lot of competition for that title.

Though of course, there’s also the Former-Moderator-Still-Smarting-From-a-Current-Moderator-Smackdown type. That’s a much narrower category.

[Green_Bean]

@Fenris

The Ducati: When I bought my first house, I paid for it with gold pirate treasure I got fighting cannibals in the South Seas when my private yacht beached on a deserted island. My first house was only a 3 wing, 87 room mansion designed by Frank Lloyd Wright…and he built it for me, personally, on that island that was once owned by the cannibals.

…“Frank wanted to add a fourth wing, but I told him, ‘That’s it. You’re done.’”

[Fenris]

@Green_Bean

…“Frank wanted to add a fourth wing, but I told him, ‘That’s it. You’re done.’”

< worships Green Bean >
You win the thread. We are not worthy. :D:D
< /worship >