Being as I am in a depraved, disgruntled frame of mind, I feel it necessary to start a thread where we vandalise song lyrics, substituting close-sounding obscene lyrics for the originals. Bonus points if only very minor substitutions are necessary.
Here is my humble initial contribution:
Gentlemen (and ladies, of course), assume the position!
Face Fuckin’, by Deep Purple
We had a lot of fuck on penis
We also had some balls on Mars
Fuckin’ all the groovey people
We’ve fucked the Milky Way so far
We screwed around with Borealice
We’re face fuckin’ round the the stars
Come on let’s go face fuckin’
With apologies to Faith Hill…
Cause I can feel you pee
It’s washing over me
And suddenly I’m melting into you
There’s nothing left to prove
Baby, all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s suppose to be
I can feel you pee
My Own Worst Enemy by Lit
Please tell me why…
My pants are 'round my ankles,
My ass is really sore and,
I’ve got a dozen roses (he said, “read the card!”)
Well, since this is a thread where one can get their junior high on…
I’ve never had to suck on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if i could
It makes me wonder if
I’ve never had to suck on wood
And I’m glad i haven’t yet
Because I’m sure it isn’t good
That’s the impression that I get
or
*Oh yeah I tell you somethin’
I think you’ll drink my glass
When I say that somethin’
I want a piece of ass
I want a piece of ass
I want a piece of ass
Oh please say to me
You’ll let me make a pass
And please say to me
You’ll let me tap that ass
Now, let me tap that ass
I want a piece of ass
And when I fuck you
Mr. happy’s inside
I hope you rated me a sponge
Spermacide
Spermacide
Spermacide!*