Let's play "guess the drug" with this Lindsey Lohan email

The press has gotten ahold of this rambling, incoherent semi-literate (http://thesuperficial.com/2006/12/lindsay_lohans_full_letter_of.html) recently sent out by Lindsey Lohan. i think it might be kind of fun to see if we can figure out exactly what chemical – or combination of chemicals – Ms. Lohan was on when she hammered this out on her Blackberry.

I don’t think think the text of the email is copyrighted material but I’ll only quote some selected portions to be extra careful. You should really click the link and read the whole thing to get the full effect. All spelling and grammatical errors are original to Ms. Lohan.

I see energy in this, and some grandiosity. It appears she has also recently seen The Aviator. I’m sure we can all agree that “people are just mean.”

Frenetic, listmaking, ambitious, delusional.

I’m going to guess meth, although cocaine is also a possibility.

I would also have to say that whoever was paid to tutor her on the set during her childhood has failed her greatly.

This poor girl ‘those people’ are going to put an end to her as well as be the demise of her. Won’t somebody think of the starlets?


I really like this critique of the email on gofugyourself.com - it’s marked up in red pen like a school homework assignment.

Final grade: D-

Geeziz…when you said “drug”, I figured this would be something entertaining.

Just a whole bunch of mindless rambling by a dope who can’t write. Dime a dozen. Wake me up when she gets around to defending Bush administration policy or denouncing Michael Moore, a’right?

The corrections and comments on that page are hilarious. “Also proofread, or just read ANYTHING…and buy panties.”

Lindsay can “educate on” me any time she wants. :stuck_out_tongue:

The rumor is that she’s takin’ Oxy. That’s what the new scandal re: her is, at least.

Oh and within a day of this being released, Gore released a statement saying he’d met her once and has no idea wtf she’s babbling about.

It’s a shame she doesn’t have her shit in better shape. I think she has the potential to be a really good actor if only she didn’t party so hard.


I think you mean actress. Trust me, I have photo proof :stuck_out_tongue:

It is a shame. I can’t garauntee what kind of actress she might become. Like you, I think maybe pretty good. But she is just throwing her life away at this point. Someone needs to step in and intervene with this girl.

And that comes from someone who thinks interventions are the epitome of butt-in-nedness.

Is this the message she sent after she learned director Robert Altman died? Or this a follow-up, after all the flack she got for the earlier one?

Alcohol and stupidity

I don’t think there’s any good reason why we need the word “actress”. A female head of a state is not called a “governess”.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lohan refers to herself as an “actor” rather than an “actress.” Many female actors of recent years do.

I can’t believe that you all have missed the point so completely, your eyes are a thousand blind windows. It’s a brilliant stream of consciousness beat poem. Howl for the new age.

See the parallels:

The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said.

I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help.

Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country.

Our people.

Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me.

Which we all know and can obviously see.

People are just mean.

I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me.

Its my life.

I want to live it.

I don’t know what drugs, if any, she’s on, but she has obviously been sharing them with some of my freshman comp students.

It’s funny, Diogenes, I was playing just this game with a friend of mine yesterday after I read her email online.

My amateur opinion is definitely alcohol and cocaine. I can almost sense the breaks where she leaned over to snort another rail.

I’m also tempted to include Xanax (or other benzodiazepine) into the mix, but I suspect we’d see even more typos and general incoherence if that were the case.

Black hair dye.

Alcohol & meth.