Small picture of Bujold as Captain Janeway.
Bette Midler as Senator Hansen in The Contender.
“Yeah, that all happened, but you left out the Lacrosse Team and the ROTC color guard, but hey, at least I didn’t stoop to fucking you! Now shut the fuck up and let me get to work!”
Bette’s character would probably say that whether or not the rumors were true. She’ss one of my favorite actresses because she doesn’t give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks of her. When she says she lives by the saying “Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke, she’s not kidding.”
If Fight Club had been made earlier, maybe we could have seen James Spader as Tyler Durden and Robert Downey Jr. in the Narrator’s role. Of course you know who’d have played Marla: Ally Sheedy. Meatloaf would still be in it.
And it would suck, only partly because it would be directed by Joel Hackmacher.
I just realized that if you replace RDJ with Rob Lowe in the above, and take out everything else but the hack director and the homoeroticism, you have Bad Influence , a movie so bad it makes Jack’s Back look like high art. (What? I collect James Spader movies. Shut up.)
Speaking of The Breakfast Club, what if Chuck Norris played the part of Principal Vernon (What’s a principal doing running Saturday School, anyway?). It wouldn’t work, because the whole movie would be about 45 seconds long.
Unabridged screenplay for the revised Breakfast Club
Principal Vernon: You’ll sit here quietly and write your essays.
Dumb jock, Nerdy outcast, juvenile delinquent, rich snob, weirdo outcast: Yes Sir!
(Everyone sits there all day and writes their essays, and nobody says a fucking word.)