Inspired by this thread, I’ve come down with an urge to roast a chicken. Since CS is supposed to be one of the more sedate forums, let’s keep it rated PG. Okay, PG13.
I’ll start:
I don’t want to say this chicken is lifeless, but it sure doesn’t move around much. It’s so stupid that when I asked it why it crossed the road, it just said “What’s a road?”
Okay, Jackie Mason I’m not. Help me out here, folks.
We asked the chicken’s girlfriend which came first, and she got really pissed.
Get a load of these legs! Last time I saw legs this pale and wrinkled was when I saw Bea Arthur at the beach.
It’s pretty safe here. I understand that there is a restraining order keeping Jim Perdue at least 500 yards from this building.
[foghorn leghorn]
That chicken, Ah say, that chicken is so dumb he needs a turkey to show 'im where the corn is!
[/fl]
Jessica Simpson was supposed to be here tonight, but we just got word from her people that she’s in Buffalo.
:: Briefly glances at the chicken ::
Well, at least now we know why he crossed the road.
To, uh, be here …
:: Taps microphone ::
Hello, is this thing on?
Courtney Love was supposed to be here, too. But it turns out she’s fried in Kentucky.
Hey, nobody said these had to be good.
“…and then I said clucker?! I barely even know her!”
NO no! He said he was going to pluck and stuff you!
Well, hey, if chickens are so dumb, how come they can catch a Tory?
Poor chicken. Gets kicked outta Cafe Society 'cause this kind of roast belongs in MPSIMS.
It’s just not fair.
I wouldn’t stuff that chicken with Bea Arthur’s dick!
…and I haven’t seen breasts that flabby and wrinkled since the nudist retirement community called the cops and they took away my binocculars…
what?
That chicken didn’t attend her roast because she decided to get fried instead.
This roast had to be postponed 'cause she wanted to go to the Winter Eggs Games.
Then she was damn near killed on the road. She went halfway across; she wanted to lay it on the line.