Christian fight! <slappity slappity slappity> 
Thus sayeth the Lord: Ha-ha!
What I frankly don’t understand is how anyone (I’m looking at you, Dio) can grant the possibility of the Rapture but quibble over the word “up”, as if God’s going to whisk the righteous off the earth but have them burn up in the atmosphere or something. Either it’s all miraculous, in which case the “how” is irrelevant, or it’s all hooey, in which case it’s all irrelevant.
Even better… Christian CHICK fight!
and not the Jack T kind!
Up, up & away…
IF there is a pre-Trib Rapture, all Christians are going up, and it will be right & just for those Left Behind. And God will have plenty of people helping & everyone will get opportunity to escape the harsh crap!
But I doubt there will be a pre-Trib Rapture.
When we do meet Jesus in the air, yeah- I think we’ll be actually going “up” from the perspective of wherever we are on Earth- maybe to swing around to join the landing party in Jerusalem, maybe to just land back to wherever we took off from.
I have no idea where Hell is. Interdimensional rifts, earthly fiery chasms, maybe just people collapsing into their abyssmal selves or raging forever against the unrelenting love of God. Or maybe not forever.
Vanilla, my intention was most assuredly not to be snotty about it, and I tried to make sure I put things in such a way that you knew I was joking. Obviously, I failed. My tone of voice was intended to be a bit absent-minded as a new thought occured to me. If you choose to see that as snottiness, so be it. I assure you, tactless creature that I am, when I do choose to be snotty, it will be about as obvious as, well, the rapture and/or Christ’s return, itself.
Look, lady, I’m getting a little tired of these accusations. I have tried to treat you with respect despite the opinion I hold of rapture theology. I have appealed to you in Christian spirit and been shot down. I now throw myself on the mercy of my fellow Dopers. Have I been snotty and obnoxious? If so, I apologize.
CJ
Oh, and FriarTed, my best guess on hell, and I do believe it exists, is, like heaven, it’s extradimensional, unimaginable and formed, in part, of our own worst horrors. I’d assume it includes realizing the full, awful consequences of our worst acts of cruelty, indifference, and, if you will, snottiness. Since I’ll no longer be occupying a physical body if I go, I’m discounting physical tortures, although I guess it would be possible to experience physical tortures made worse by human imagination. Still, the worst of it, I assume, and this is all wholesale guesswork, is simply being separated from God, from all that is Good, True, Holy, and Pure. That, to me, would be far worse than any mere lake of fire.
Anyway, that’s my WAG.
CJ
Now that was funny.
I cannot imagine who the dopers would be on the side of, someone who agrees with much of what they do and don’t believe, no punishment all is accepted or someone who believes in fundamentalism. That is so hard to figure out!
Really, what you said was you didn’t want to go to Heaven (right away) you cared more about people here than me or others.
Doubt thats true and it sure wouldn’t be a good choice, you wouldn’;t be much help nor would it be needed, actually.
It certainly isn’t a very christian-like attitude, to just leave everyone to their own devices. But what if the fundies are right? Do you know a single person that you’re reasonably sure will make the trip? Or will we see a bunch of posters the next day that say, “What if they threw a rapture and nobody came?” ? Maybe all your efforts (and by you I mean all christians) won’t be enough. Maybe no one will make the cut.
Would “throwing a rapture” be the opposite of “pitching a fit?”
Well…with the earth’s population approaching 7 billion by 2010 and expected to reach 10 billion ( the planet’s limit ) by 2050, and the fact that 33% of them are Christians, even if they all go, with the limited natural resources available, I say the sooner the rapture the better.
I have no interest in Heaven at all, now or ever. I’d much rather hang out on earth and help others (if I could) then go hang out on a cloud singing hosannas all day. After I die I’d rather be anihilated than to go to Rapture Heaven.
I dunno. But I’ll bet it’s infinitely more entertaining! What I want to know is, do they just sort of “pop” and leave a little cartoon star in place of the person, or do they adopt more of a bungee cord approach…a stretch-and-snap movement? Or will they become transparent and slowly float away? And is there a powder room to freshen up in once you get there? I’m picturing a lot of really bad hair when it’s all over.
vanilla, I love you dearly, but I think your mirror is warped.
Vanilla, I have had just about enough. My words were intended to comment on my beliefs response, not yours**! If you have any more problems with my replies in this thread, I suggest you take them up with the moderators. Otherwise, I may wind up inviting you into the BBQ Pit. Please be advised that I do not make idle threats.
You and I have radically different beliefs when it comes to the rapture. I don’t expect you to change your beliefs. In fact, I’d sooner expect you to become a Wiccan. I have my own reasons for not embracing those beliefs, and I’m not likely to change them, either. Because of who I am, what I’ve done, and what has happened to me, I am unable to have the assurance of being taken into heaven you do. I can’t do it. Maybe I’m irreperably damaged in your point of view; maybe I’m hopelessly sinful; maybe I’m insane. Whatever the case, I cannot have the absolute, 100% assurance that I will go to heaven when my life here on earth is done, anymore than I can paint a sunset effortlessly. That gift simply isn’t one I was given.
My responses to you in this thread have not been intended to make me look holier, more righteous, more Christian, or more anything else than you. They have simply been intended to explain why I don’t believe in rapture theology. If you choose to see it that way, that is your choice, and there’s nothing I can do about it. You used to know me better than that.
I am what I am, as surely as you are what you are. We’ve lived very different lives and made very different choices, and I’m sure both of us are amazed the other could do some of the things she’s done. To me, “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad” or “wrong”. It’d better not – for far too much of my life, I was the one who was “different” or “bad” or “wrong” and I’m still not sure I’m right now. That’s NOT intended to imply you think you’re right. It’s simply intended to mean I could be wrong. I could always be wrong, and I don’t think I’ve ever said otherwise.
I’m not sure what you want me to do. Accepting the rapture is out. I’m not even going to stop arguing against it. I feel too strongly about it. Do you want me to stop posting what I believe? A fine evangelist I’d make if I did that!
Enough. This is already getting too close to a Pit thread for my taste.
Peace be with you, vanilla, and I do mean that as a friend and fellow Christian, regardless of how you choose to take it.
CJ
How do you think YOU come across, vanilla? All you seem to do is set yourself up to be the arbitrator of who’s a “proper” Christian, and accuse everyone else of “watering it down because they want to be popular.” And then you paint yourself as a martyr, claiming that no one on the Straight Dope likes Christians, and we’re all just sooo mean and intolerant.
Thanks, Siege for the mention, but I no longer consider myself a Christian, just a theist who believes in something vague. You don’t sound “snotty” to me. Maybe a bit weary and tired of this whole thing-but that could describe any one of us.
A bible expert like you should know that hanging on clouds is not mentioned in the Bible as what goes on when we are with Jesus
After reading this comment I just realized if we all disappear in the twinkling of an eye, we may leave a small sonic boom, or lots of them.
Cool.
Thank you, the feeling is mutual, but I think youre wrong about that.
Uhmm, thanks, but I think that was Polycarp. It’s ok – we look a lot alike.
CJ
Hmmm… Revelation 3:3: “I shall come upone you like a thief, and you will not know the moment of my coming.”
Matthew 22:34-40 Matthew 25:44-46
Well, on here, anyway.
So instead of a Trumpet blast, the Rapture may sound more like millions of bubble wrap pops? G
As to who wins “Snottiest Christian Doper Babe”…
Vanilla, you do get overly dramatic with the claims of C’tian bashing, especially when they are aimed at those who are quite C’tian, just of a different type than you.
Siege, expounding on the moral defectiveness of Rapturism can sound somewhat accusatory towards those who do hold onto Rapture theology.
I declare a tie!
“And as Mayor of Druggachsettes, I hereby declare this pizza- AWESOME!”