Let's talk about work ettiquette

Our administrative assistant is starting a new position at another department next Monday. It’s in a completely different building, so while we are still working for the same company, it’s a big deal that she is leaving. Yesterday, we had a nice lunch for her and sent her off with a nice little farewell. Everything was nicely arranged and the (catered) food was delicious. So as the director, our admin assistant, and I were standing around chatting, it came to my discovery that the director was going around bragging about how he got our admin assistant to order the food and set up for the gathering - all without knowing it was for her. He was saying it as if he was a genius for concocting such a devious plan. I, on the other hand, thought it was incredibly tacky. It was supposed to be a farewell lunch for her, and she ends up doing all the work??? I wish someone had informed me earlier, then I would have done the ordering and setting up. It was a black mark on such a nice lunch.

Wow, that’s just pure tackiness on the director’s part. I wouldn’t be bragging about that.

On the other hand, it’s nice your admin asst got a send off. Those folks are seriously taken for granted.

What a jerk! Was the adminstrative assistant annoyed, or amused? I think it’s horrible.

It depends on the spirit in which it was meant.

My SIL told her mom she needed three lasagnas for a school party. Mom grumbled, but made the lasagnas. (My SIL helped.)

Then, while MIL and FIL are out with friends for their anniversary (my in-laws, not the friends) my SIL called up, saying she wasn’t feeling well, and they were out of Pepto Bismol.

Grumbling again, MIL interrupted her “dinner” and came home, friends in tow, Pepto Bismol in hand, to find a surprise anniversary party waiting for her, with the spotlight food being…you guessed it…the lasagnas.

MIL had a good laugh about how she was tricked into cooking for her own party. Quite frankly, it would have been rather suspicious if SIL had shoved mom out of her own kitchen and said “I need to make three lasagnas for a—a---a school party, yeah, that’s the ticket,” since mom is famous for her lasagnas, and is asked often to cook them for special occasions. The friends they were meeting for the “dinner out” were in on the whole thing.

Is it possible, Sad and Deranged, that the admin asst would have been suspicious if she’d seen anyone else ordering a catered lunch, especially if it’s her job to handle such tasks?

I had a similar thing happen while temping - my supervisor noticed it was Secretary Day (or whatever they’re calling it now), and said he would take me out for lunch. And by the way, would I mind making all the arrangements for it? I just didn’t bother (partially since making arrangements for seminars and stuff was my least favourite part of that job). I would say most admins don’t particularly care for making arrangments for their own parties - it’s a work duty, not a hobby.

I dunno, if this was the sort of thing you generally did as part of your job, it might be a nice surprise to find out that this time it was for you. As long as it wasn’t extra work.

Yep, I see it as pretty tacky. It’s akin to giving your Mom a vacuum cleaner for Mother’s Day.

But, I get where the Director’s glee was coming from, if this was the admin asst’s normal function in the company. If she’s the one who does all that work to make those events happen normally, he probably thought that getting her all involved with the event, and making it go as smoothly as she usually does, then Surprise! it was all for You! would seem like a hee hee tables turned event.

But, unless she’s just an absolute true sweetheart, that sort of thing would leave most people feeling rather odd. To truly appreciate her, she shouldn’t have to work for her own party to happen. She had to have all the responsibility of it, and worry until it happened. OK, Surprise! “Yay!, thanks, can I do the dishes now?”

I see the director as being a jerk.

I don’t know what is in this man’s mind, but I would give him the benefit of doubt. He thought it was a fun trick to pull on her. I mean, to organize a big event and then find out it was for you? That sounds kinda cool.

I don’t mean to pick on you, Sapo, but I think that would only sound cool to someone who has never been the person whose job it is to plan the events (i.e. the director in the OP). If you gave me the choice of plan my own farewell party or have no party at all, I would pick no party at all every single time.

Another vote for tacky. Maybe that’s why she’s changing jobs, if that’s normal behavior for her boss.

I once attended a suprise baby shower that was planned by the guest of honor. Guest of honor was the Bell Choir Director, and a paid employee of the church. The rest of the attendees were members or former members of the bell choir.

Director picked a date, in consultation with the choirs, for what she thought of as a “End of Season Potluck Dinner”, reserved the Fellowship Hall, and did some organizing of the potluck–sign-ups, so we had 1 lasagna and 2 salads, that kind of thing.

My mother and I made up invitations, and distributed them discreetly to all bell choir members, plus a few former members, and urged them to each buy and bring a gift to the party. We also made mints, decorated a cake, bought baby-themed napkins, etc.

The evening of the party, we did a little early prep work while the Director was distracted, and when she walked in, she was surprised to see the trappings of a baby shower.

She was tickled pink. And delighted with our cleverness, in making her plan her own shower–especially since she would have done the work she did regardless of our plans.

Reminds me of last year’s Xmas bonuses. The Veep gives me a list of names and amounts and says 'Give me a check for this amount." I do. A week later he tells me "I need a check for XXX dollars). I ask why. “I need a check.” Gee, could that be for my Xmas bonus. Quelle Surprise :rolleyes:

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

I think you can pull this off, depending on everyone’s personality, the general office atmosphere, etc., but you absolutely need to “make it up” to the person who’s leaving and who wound up arranging her own going away party. OK, ha-ha-ha, it’s a big joke – Cindy-Lou set up her own going away, but Cindy-Lou, you do it best, you always have, we’ll miss you a ton, and here’s a [more-than-suitable-gift] to say thanks.

If the boss is actually just thrilled that he suckered the admin a good one, then yeah, he’s a jerk.