Let's talk about zombie defence plans.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Or Z.D.P.'s, for short. As every interweb geek knows, having a Z.D.P. is crucial if you are to avoid being lunch for a zed. So, what’s your plan in the event that either the undead rise with the intent of eating your brain, or some sort of virus renders your fellow man into a shambling husk hellbent consuming human flesh? You know you have one. And if you don’t, well, try to die quietly. Don’t let them bite you.

Mine’s based on the assumption of slow zombies (my Z.D.P. for the fabled “fast zombies” is a bullet to the brain - ain’t no surviving that!). Basically, use the natural advantage of the human over the zed-threat: speed. Assuming a nomadic existence in the countryside (less humans = less potential zeds), scrounging off farms and the environment (farms may also have firearms to nick) will be the basis of my plan. Too often in Z-day scenarios our hapless heroes barricade themselves in urban areas, robbing themselves of their natural advantage and playing to the z strength in numbers, until eventually, through human error or zombie effort, the perimeter is breached and it’s all over. Keep on the move, keep foraging, travel light, those’d be my survivors maxims come Z-day. Oh, and try and rough it alone. More people means more potential zombies.

2

Have you ever seen the movie Fido? It is one of the most engaging films I have seen in years and deals with this topic. It is quite strange yet very watchable and involves a 1950’s town that has a sealed zombie perimeter provided by the mega-corp Zomcom. Some zombies are allowed inside the perimeter as servants or even sex slaves but they have to be outfitted with a special collar that keeps them under control. However, the collars have glitches sometimes.

I highly recommend it and Netflix has it on its Watch Instantly list.

3

No I haven’t, but it sounds like good viewing on the subject - thanks for the recommend! Zombie sex slaves? Are they mad?!
Jibblies!

4

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5

Psst…you want the best zombie plan? just read the brilliant first post.

Actually since I’ve moved I’ll do a new one.

Plan 1-home- Eat a bullet. I’m stuck in a one story house with a sliding glass door in every room. the only other buildings near me are other similar death traps. Unless I can get to work but thats…

Plan 2-work- I do maintenance at a condo/apartment complex. Step one would be to gather supplies and weapons. I’ve been rereading World War Z so I got this idea today to sharpen up one of the many shovels around. Tomorrow I’ll make a more thorough weapons search. After supplies have been acquired then all I have to do is head to the second floor of one of the buildings and remove the stair case. After that I have two whole zombie-proofed floors the kick it on.
(looks at Terrifel, looks at sharpened shovel, looks back at Terrifel, thinks to self, "man people really don’t know how to type anymore.)

6

Capital! I should have known fearless dopers had already pondered this ponderment.

Is there such thing as an e-shotgun? Once they infect the web we’re all doomed.

7

Judging from Terrifel’s post, they already have.

8

I fear not the shambling dead. Upon the first outbreak I shall collect up Nashiitashii, and the two dogs and grab the gas cans from the garage. The car will be loaded with food, potable water, camping gear, and tools. We then head immediately down the road to the gas station at the end of the block and fuel up. I have a large prybar, and a .38 that ought to keep any zombies at bay while the tanks are filled. Our area is fairly rural so the zombies ought to be low as of yet. Next stop is Addison’s gun shop just a mile down the road, I will either max out everything I have, or cut a deal with guys inside for additional shotguns and ammo. From there we head south and west to the gulf coast and make our way out to one of the many islands an establish home base. Assuming the zombies cannot operate boats, we ought to do fine. I have plenty of survival skills and can build a pretty nice, durable dwelling for us.

9

Fast zombies or slow zombies?

Either way, you need to have your weapons and ammo in advance. I’m certainly not parting with any of mine just for someone that hasn’t planned ahead. People mock me (from afar) for carrying 300 rounds of ammo in my Corolla, but zombies don’t always attack when you’re already home.

Anyway, beyond that I can only say that my zombie plan involves using your sweet flesh as a diversion :slight_smile:

Obligatory Red vs. Blue zombie plan link

10

Okay, I got a question.

I was just thinking about this zombie stuff in the last couple days because I got this big sheet of plywood which I just put under my new mattress to make the bed harder.

Anyhow, the plywood sat in my bedroom for a few days before I got the mattress and it made me wonder. If the zombies came and I boarded up my windows with plywood would it keep them out? I mean, this is a pretty strong, thick piece of plywood.

11

Yeah, the plywood may be thick but think of what will happen when you have hundreds upon hundreds of zombies pushing on it to get to you. After awhile it is going to give.

12

Okay, that’s what I was afraid of. What’s the best thing to secure windows and doors with?

13

Steel bars that slide into holes drilled into the cinderblock. Make certain your lock is engaged from long the wall somewhere that arms cannot reach.

14

Outstanding. I knew I could count on the Dopers! :smiley:

So I’m gonna guess that my suburban apartment would not be the best place to end up. I’m thinking that when the shit hits the blower I oughta find a large office building somewhere.

15

My plan is along the line of Acid Lamp’s. I’m going to load up all my firearms, ammo and provisions. Scoop up my kid and head out to the wilderness where there will be less zombies to deal with. An office building sounds attractive but you will have to clear it, barricade the entrances and deal with others who may have had the same idea as you but may not want you there.

16

Just sitting here speculating, planning adequately’s going to be a lot harder than I think most people are allowing for.

I’m no survivalist and I don’t see myself cleaning and eating squirrels, so I’ll have to make do with canned goods and non-perishables for the duration. Seems to me with judicious planning, I could hold out for 3-4 weeks in a zombie-overrun zone; after that all bets are off and I’ll need a contingency plan for breakout to the nearest clear zone as a backup.

If I stick it out in the Houston area, the last thing I’d want to do is be downtown, I think. The problem for me with holing up in an urban highrise is the potential for an uncontrolled blaze sweeping across the city soon after the power and water go out; frankly, in an urban setting occupied mostly by zombies this is more a matter of when than if, IMHO.

My first instinct would be to find one of those houses on stilts that are prevalent near the water here, preferably some distance away from others. It would be easy to place obstacles on the stairs or even just knock ‘em down and have a ladder one can draw up to eliminate the chance of unwanted entry from below. It’s about an hour and a half down to the coast from where I live, but I don’t have the sort of car that can plow through a crowd of Zeds without damage, and it’s too small to carry a few weeks’ worth of supplies, so I’ll need to find a large pickup somewhere with a bull bar on the front. Diesel, preferably, for the mileage and relative mechanical simplicity.

Supplies would be mostly an assortment of canned goods, pasta, rice and beans liberated from abandoned supermarkets, plus maybe a weeks worth of drinking water to get through dry spells. We get a lot of rain here so rigging up something to catch some of it should be a doddle. I will say that if I’m by myself, it’s gonna be a royal pain acquiring all that stuff if I haven’t got some laid in already, and getting it up the ladder, especially if there are Zeds about. I don’t look forward to it.

Weapons? Pump shotgun as a standoff piece, .45 auto handgun for close-in work, and, as someone already mentioned, a shovel. For some reason I really like the shovel. I’m tempted to lay in a bunch of cans of charcoal lighter fluid and a flaregun as well, but the potential for an uncontrolled conflagration from a mess of flaming zombies wandering into the weeds is just too high.

Pretty sure I’ll have to give up on any electric power; getting a generator up onto the elevated deck is doable, but then you’ve got fuel to worry about. I went close to week without power following Hurricane Ike last year, so I think I’d get by OK.

17

I think that zombies are not nearly as smart or agile as some people think they are based on modern science. A single semi-automatic twelve gauge shotgun with buck shot should be more than enough to fend them off although it is obviously better to have two or three and train your kids to use them. All you have to do is shoot them in the head and they will die for real.

You can stay in your house but all family members need to sleep on the same room with one or more people keeping watch at all times. It isn’t that difficult to shoot them while climbing through a window or trying to force the door open. If you move around in packs around the house, it would be nothing more than a minor inconvenience except when your kids need to go to school or when you need to call your insurance company about getting your windows replaced and buck-shot damage repaired in the house.

I am not seeing much of an issue here.

18

A zombie bite-proof suit, a gun, and plenty of ammo. Why is there always such a lack of zombie bite-proof suits? They can’t be that difficult to construct.

19

Not only is there bite-proof suits, but you have so many options you can put together your own style.

20

I guess Bobothepessimist drives around in an M1 Abrahms.