Lie about yourself

I invented a new body part: Feeth.

I have Julian Assange’s cat.

Al Gore got the whole idea for having an inter-net from me originally.

I used to be Captain Tootsie. Now I’m just a stew bum.

I have never ever posted in this thread before.

I’ve posted 34,365 off-topic true things about myself in this thread.

I reprogrammed my Casio calculator to work in septendecimal.

That wasn’t me who posted on the 17th.

There’s a curious low-pitched hum coming from my hypothalamus.

Earlier this year, in a secret lab in Canada, indestructible metal implants were affixed to my skeleton.

Indestructible, eh? Bwa-hah-hah-hah! If only kenobi_65 knew what I put in them! He’ll soon be marching to my tune!

After that last post, I realize now that Quondam_Mechanic is the reincarnation of John Phillip Sousa.

I have every post in this thread memorized.

I have every post of CairoCarol’s memorized backwards.

I have been hired - with quite a princely advance sum, I might add - to ghostwrite, “From Amnesia to Academia: The Remarkable Journey of Professor Pepperwinkle,” which is of course the autobiography of our very own poster, @Prof.Pepperwinkle.

I drove a Saab 90 across the Simpson desert.

I was sadder when my dog died than when I died.

I have never yet failed to solve the daily Wordle puzzle.

-“BB”-

I am happier than my dog.

I live in Hooterville and get rip-roaring drunk with Sam Drucker every third Wednesday night.