I want to try some light BDSM with my boyfriend, but I’m not exactly sure what we should do other than tying up and blindfolding. We are both on the less creative side of the spectrum, so it makes it hard to come up with ideas. Help anyone? Thanks
team2blonde, one thread per subject is enough. I’ve closed your other threads, but I’m leaving this one open since it’s in the right forum.
Well, right-ish – I’m going to move the thread to IMHO, where advice threads go.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
First off, have a safe word so that you both know when enough is enough. Make it something easy to remember and definitely out of context, like colours or a nonsense word “Red!” or “Balloon!”. There are lots of things you can have safe fun with including food, fabrics, light spanking, whatever you think will rev up the others motor. Clothes pins can be useful as well. If you are going to try bondage make sure you can get your partner untied in a hurry in case of a problem; the last thing you want is to try and untie granny knots while your smoke detector is going off, for example…
The sky is the limit as long as you remember the big three, Safe, Sane, Consensual ! This is some one you ostensibly Love so you don’t want to do anything that is hazardous to life or limb!
I’ll give you an easy starter, try tieing them up, blindfolding them, and then lightly applying a feather or some ice to various locations and see what happens.
Remember Safe, Sane, Consensual!
Watch the following films
9 1/2 Weeks
The Secretary
I’m sure they’ll be more suggestions.
May I suggest wandering through Wikipedia? If that doesn’t provide you with ideas, perhaps BDSM is not for you.
safe word for both is good so you both know when to stop the play. “red” is not a good safe word, it is a skin color.
Safe, Sane, Consensual is the thing. both of you may feel transported to a new space but you’re both in control.
I started with things like nipple clamps, floggers and paddles for spanking, hot wax on top of the handcuffs. Name calling is a good starter too like being called a whore or a bitch. A little degradation :). Forced orgasm while tied up is fun. Hair pulling during fellatio or being held and gagged with his penis. It may not sound too light but you control the extent or degree of these things.
[QUOTE=johnpost]
“red” is not a good safe word, it is a skin color.
[/QUOTE]
I have always used red as a safe word. More often than not, I am SO transported to a new space (perfect description, I’m stealing it…thank you) that the play will go on and on because I don’t call red if I am in the zone. As a result, often my master or mistress will call red for me, give me some water and some aftercare.
Team2blonde, my tastes run beyond light play, so cannot advise there except to say explore and find out what you like, talk openly with your partner, and be honest and clear about what you will and won’t do. Also, I don’t drink or use drugs ever, nor do I play with people who drink more a couple of drinks and never those who use drugs. There is more potential for something going bad when people are drunk/high. The pain is the best high ever anyway, no other buzz necessary.
Have fun! You might not stay “light” for long.
Seems to me that the difference between, “Look, a red mark” and “RED! RED! RED!” would be pretty obvious.
Regardless, I don’t think I’ve never had any occasion to mention penguins during sex, so that might work.
some people did use traffic lights as safe words; so ‘yellow’ might be ‘slow down and proceed with caution but don’t stop’ and ‘red’ would be ‘stop right now’. so ‘red’ got to be a frequent safe word for many, even if you used a single word.
and it depends if you agree on a single utterance of a word for a safe word or a repeated one. my mention was in regard to ‘red’ being a common word to occur in this context. lots of good diction can disappear when things get whipping along.
also if you gag someone then you need a nonverbal safe word like dropping a held object.
good communication and understanding between the persons makes things better.
Is causing each other pain what you’re looking for? Or just fun games?