Let’s say you have a pair of friends, Lindsay and Josh, ages 30 & 40, respectively. They are engaged to be married; while you are buddies with both, you became so with each independently of the other.
You have known Josh for twice as long as you have known Lindsay. You are probably his best friend; please note that I did not say he was YOUR best friend. Josh is sometimes hard to get along with, you see. Oh, he is always there when a friend needs a favor, either practical or emotional; nonetheless, he is somewhat emotionally rigid, which can make him insufferable. You generally like him, but staying around him can be a trial.
As for Lindsay, you out right love her, and I do not mean in a sexual sense. She is simply a joy: smart, funny, reliable, easy-going, and for the most part sensible. (We will come to a way she was NOT sensible in just a moment.) remaining HER friend has never been a trial at all. You count yourself extremely lucky that she wants to be yours.
About a month before the wedding, Lindsay comes to you in tears. Josh is extremely upset with her and is considering calling the marriage off. Why? It is that issue she was less than sensible about. You see, when Lindsay was about 18, she had a brief career in pornography. She never told Josh about it; the closest she came to admitting the truth of the matter was to say she had done some nude modeling between high school and college. But in fact, what she did was a great deal rougher. In particular, she shot a gonzo scene in which she not only was verbally and physically abused by the director and male models on camera, but also confessed to having been molested by a funny uncle when she was much younger. Eliciting this confession from her — and making her call her mail co-stars "Uncle " while she cried— was the highlight of the scene.
Lindsey had hoped Josh would not find out about this, but an ex-boyfriend of hers, angry at being rebuffed, sent him a link to the video online, in which Lindsay’s face, along with a very distinctive tech to, was clearly visible. There was no denying that she was the girl in the video, so she told Josh everything, including that she participated of her own free will. (It was her last seen in porn, by the way; soon afterward she went into therapy and became the frankly extraordinary woman she is today.)
Josh is very angry. He felt that Lindsay had lied to him by describing her work between high school & college merely as modeling, for one thing; for another, he thinks he should have been told about the molestation. He has declared that he no longer trust her and that he doesn’t know whether he can go through with the wedding.
Now while she is generally quite self-reliant and sensible, Lindsay is crazy in love with Josh. The thought of losing him has her frantic. In the past, you have been able to act as a moderating influence When Josh was being rigid in other ways, so Lindsay hopes you might be able to persuade him not to break things off with her. She requests that you try.
Are you willing to do what Lindsay ask? If not, why not? If so, what would you say to Josh? When Josh was being rigid in other ways, so Lindsay hopes you might be able to persuade him not to break things off with her. She requests that you try.
Are you willing to do what Lindsay ask? If not, why not? If so, what would you say to Josh?