Oh, I can play her role:
I wish people without colanders or people who only have old colanders would stop talking. I was in the same room with a colander once. I know a lot about this.
I hope that annoying person over there has a horrible miscolander and her spaghetti goes all over the floor.
Because of my parents’ connections, I’m going to be part owner of a colander factory. You people were just too lazy to have the right parents.
I just about spit my coffee across my desk…:o
Well, what’s your colander status, man? (Or woman.) We must know this before you fully uncloak.
I’m afraid my status is poor. I have one crappy plastic one that I can never seem to get clean. I am in the market for a shiny metal one though…
I think I feel a new sig-line coming on. 
“Just because you can colander doesn’t mean you should.”
The WordMan saves the day once again!
Fighting for truth, justice and the correct way to spell!!
Bravo!!!
Yea, all you high falutin types with your fancy micro planers, lemon zesters, and colanders can kiss my ass.
Peasants.
Colanders? Lemon ballers? Garlic presses? Maybe if you’re living in the street or something.
I do all my cooking with space-aged … MICROWAVES!
I hang my individual lettuce leaves on a washing line.
You do it yourself? I thought everyone had a lettuce-hanging servant.
lindsaybluth also has somebody to take care of the issue of the vaccum cleaner hose being left sticking up in front of the TV screen. I wish I did. 
Apparently now that RNATB is married, he has to hang his lettuce all by himself.
And before anyone asks, I have a Villeroy & Boch colander (among others) and well over 30 tea strainers. And a baby, so apparently tea strainers are not dual use technology.
It’s a tragedy when a couple’s lettuce hanging drives don’t match.
I think you need to make this about the obese trainwreck who got her colander through a government subsidy, and then you’ll be on the right track.
Well…I think having a horrible colander accident and missing a meal might actually be a good thing for some of you fat people on here. I once knew someone who went to India and volunteered for people who grew up with no colanders so they weren’t even privileged enough to have colander accidents. So suck it up!
Cheerio,
lindsaybluth.
I never realized how rich I was until this thread. And not just rich in spirit, but really rich! You see, I own four colanders. (Well, one of them is a mini colander, which matches the normal-sized one it came with). And last night…I used two different colanders in the course of making one meal. You heard me right…two colanders for one meal. I’m that wealthy. Envy me.
I just had to pipe up just to say that this thread delivers on a few levels. I have lollerskated the whole way through all 12 pages.
.
And I have two colanders and a French press. So there!
Being a physician, in our household we refer to our many so-called “colanders” as cribriformities.
lollerskated? LOVE IT.