Is it just me or is this a Universal problem? When talking to peers or when talking backed by confidence I consider myself quite intellectual and articulate and often witty too. But introduce an element of diminished confidence I turn into a stuttering fool.
It can be triggered when talking to Authority figures. Especially if they are someone whom it is important that I have/build a good reputation in the mind of. Someone who gets to decide my suitability for promotion and how much I get paid.
I can walk the walk but can’t talk the talk. My rivals are the reverse.
I’m quite similar. Ordinarily, in comfortable and familiar social situations, or in professional situations where I know what I’m talking about, I can speak quite confidently and with authority. Put me in an uncomfortable social situation, or one where my knowledge of the material is shaky but I have to try and muddle through it anyway, I turn into a moron that can’t form two coherent thoughts in a row, and even the ones I do form can’t be articulated without being peppered with “Ums” and “Likes.”
I know this sounds ridiculous but the whole reason why I quit smoking pot is because of what it did to my confidence.
I remember I was over at a friends house once when a couple of very attractive ladies came over to hang out.
Normally, I’m very comfortable around the ladies, but this night, because I was so high, I couldn’t form a sentence to save my life. In my head I just KNEW these girls thought I was a complete spaz.
It was that day I decided to never touch the stuff again because I never want to feel that way again.
If this is how people who have confidence issues feel all the time; They have my complete sympathies.
This summer, there was an occassion when a local crisis made the national news. I’m not going to identify the crisis–it really doesn’t matter to my story.
We had the radio on NPR when we heard the news at the top of the hour. First Local Guy says (somewhat hesitantly) " There’s been a crisis here in Location. This is what we know now . . . and now for the national news"
Next National News Guy says " This is National News guy, and we’re following a story on Location, here’s the local guy with more"
Local Guy reads three or four prepared sentences with confidence.
And back they go to the national news.
It was amazing how different he sounded when talking off the cuff and when he’d been recorded on tape. Even though the facts didn’t change, the circumstances did–and this is a guy who makes his living talking on the radio.
There was a time when I taught vocational subjects in the Navy. I was confident in my field and had no problems controlling a classroom, even when challenged on some point. I really enjoyed what I did and I was often cited as being popular in student critiques.
When asked to speak at a social function I was always nervous and apprehensive, and always felt that my presentations were terrible, even though others told me I did just fine.
When I find myself in a confrontational situation, I’m one of those who always thinks of the perfect response after it’s too late. :smack: