Hmm, drat it. Just put this in with the above hi-jack. We are immensly cheered by the fact that his middle brother will be going into the military after he graduates. He’s finishing his junior year now. For now, we hardly see him. He’s got school, and a job so he’s hardly home. 
I just have to ask: what’s the deal with “the hand request”? C’mon, it’s the pit. You can say it.
At 14, I’d have done anything with my hand just to get it out of my pants.
Oh, fisting. Never mind.
It’s funny how, in one thread, fisting is an extreme, adventurous form of sexual expression that’s maybe not for everyone, but God help the court that legislates against it, while in another, it’s cause for social condemnation.
The point is, hansel she was a virgin and wanted that done. To me, that’s not entirely emotionally/mentally healthy. I’m not bland at all when it comes to sexual expression, but I took the time to find out what I liked in the “tame” catagory before getting really adventerous. I don’t mean strictly missionary, just not hardcore either. Trust me, she’s still too emotionally/mentally immature to be experimenting that way.
Fisting is very extreme, you are aware it can cause internal damage aren’t you? (Fallen bladder for one.) This is why most women don’t want it.
My attitude about sexual preference is “to each their own”. However, don’t you think it odd that a 14 year old virgin would want something that could cause lasting phsyical harm? She wanted something done on such an extreme level, where does she go from there? Auto-eroticism? What is the next level? Normally people start out at a lower level, and get more adventuresome later. Where can she go when she wants to explore?
The girl is seriously warped in many ways. Go back and re-read the OP, and my other posts. She caused serious harm to another human’s psyche. She was emotionally, verbally, physically/sexually abusive to my husband. (She’d beat/berate him if he wanted to try something during sex. It had to be her way, and her pleasure.) This is why I’m pissed. She’s using/abusing him again. She’s going to get a thrill out of the attention she’ll garner playing the stalwart saint letting his hand touch her again.
This is why I started the tread, to vent the anger. I still shake my head in wonder at her nerve. She actually slandered my husband to my face. She actually implied that HE had caused her such pain she’d never recover. Words can’t really capture my ire at that.
Oh, and he wasn’t 14 at the time, ** hansel ** she was. He was young enough to not realize that not every lover he had would want those things right off the bat though. Young enough that he thought all females that weren’t his mother were going to be that irrational and violent.
It was certainly wrong of the bride to hit and kick her boyfriend, and for her to lie about him. However, two things in your post bothered me.
First, it’s completely up to the bride to decide how the processional should go. You’re thirty-one, you should be mature enough not to care who your husband walks next to for a few minutes.
Second, you criticized the bride for not wanting to promise to obey. WTF? I think that was very telling about both of you. She wasn’t willing to lie and promise to obey when she knew she wouldn’t (what self-respecting woman would obey?). She’s also committed to her principles enough to stand up to the minister and accept the loss of his services. Good for her. You, on the other hand, were willing to promise to obey (Why? It can easily be cut out of the service), even though you knew you wouldn’t. Saying that you redefined the meaning is just silly, the word has a dictionary definition and I think a bride sullies her vows by saying things she doesn’t mean. Your husband might have known the code, but what about the witnesses and congregation? You lied to them.
Also, it just occurred to me, if you don’t like the bride, why are you a bridesmaid? You can politely decline, you know. My advice to you is for you and your husband to ask to be relieved of the burden of sharing the happy couple’s day, then stay home and watch a movie. If you can’t do that, then suck it up and support the bride as a bridesmaid should.
Hmmm. So he was 17/18, and she was 14, are those numbers right? That’s statutory rape in some states.
I totally agree: for a 14 year old virgin to want to be fisted displays an almost perfect misunderstanding of her own sexuality. I was commenting in general, not on your case specifically. She’s a deeply messed up person.
First of all, ** Daffodil5 ** you only skimmed my posts, and it shows. **It isn’t the bride that’s my husbands abuser, it’s the MOH. **
Secondly, I did NOT critcise the bride for refusing to obey. If you look, I did not make that vow either. We made of that word a code, as I said the word “obey” we both knew that it did not have the dictionary meaning. It meant that I would respect his feelings and listen to them, and that I would treat him as an equal always. Also as I said “obey” he vowed the same too. This worked out well.
FTR, we went to a JOP to get married, and had no chance to consult with him. We were given generic vows that he used. The witnesses knew what the code was, we told them because they knew what the vows were, knew me and asked. They approved. This is why we used this solution. If it’s a solution that wouldn’t work for you, don’t use it. DO NOT sneer at someone else’s solution however, it’s ignorant and rude. :dubious:
My problem is that she had no comprehension of diplomacy. The groom’s mom did not say obey either, but she did not tell the minister beforehand. She just said. “Love and Honor” and shut her mouth. The bride knew our solutions, and still was a bonehead. Because she refused outright to say obey, (instead of just letting the minister think she’d say it) she lost the minister (who is a dogmatic asshat) for not only her wedding, but her in-laws 25th wedding vow renewal. She dropped the “diplomacy ball”.
You really need to thouroughly read a person’s posts BEFORE you lambaste them. :rolleyes: If you had, you would see that we are close to the GROOM, not the bride. We are putting up with psycho bitch, a.k.a. MOH for the GROOM’s sake. We are also putting up with the bride for the groom’s sake, because we respect the fact that he’s chosen her. I’m venting the negativity into the pit, so I can smile, and be graceful at the wedding. The reason I got asked to be a bride’s maid is because I’m one of the brides few “friends”. I’m more friend to her, than she is to me. I’m kind to her, listen to her, offer her sound advice when she asks, am polite etc. I’m her voice of experience through this pregnancy. I’m also teaching her how to cook. I still call her on bad behavior if it’s too outrageous though.
And he was 15/16, NOT 17/18. They had been over for more than a year when we MET through the groom, who is my husband’s best friend/brother. He waited until he turned 18 to court me. That was snide, misinformed and uncalled for. Asshat! :rolleyes:
This is the pit. I came here to sneer, be rude, and vent my own negativity. Who knew I’d stumble onto a refuge from the Jerry Springer Show first thing.
Yup, I skimmed your long-winded post, and your cattiness towards the bride mixed with your cattines towards the moh. You seem really pissed that you weren’t chosen to be moh, I did notice that.
So if your “promise” to obey meant blah meanless feelings crap blah, why didn’t you just actually say respect and listen instead of obey? If you’re so fond of your mother-in-law’s (hasty and sure to make the minister look like an idiot) solution, why didn’t you use it? Also, why were you in such a scurry to get married that you couldn’t even take a moment to discuss the ceremony with the JOP? Pregnancy or fear that the first grey hair would appear before you got down the aisle that first time?
Diplomacy is neglecting to inform the minister of her wishes and making him look like an idiot when he said obey and your mil didn’t repeat after him? The bride you’re complaining about wasn’t a bonehead, she’s more principled than anyone you’ve ever met, and you’re too stupid and jealous to recognize it. The minister that the bride “lost” sounds like no prize. You even call him an “asshat” yet you think she should have shut up and let him officiate on her wedding day? You would have preferred that she lie (by ommission) to the person performing her ceremony? That’s a great start to a marriage. I’m so glad that you can be there to offer your brand of advice on lying and marriage to the bride.
I repeat that if you can’t wholeheartedly support the bride, you shouldn’t be in her wedding party.
PS, glad your hubby isn’t a statutory rapist, sounds like you have enough troubles as it is. BTW, you already used the “asshat” insult once, come up with a new clever little hick insult to use on me.
Look MORON, it’s the groom’s MOTHER who used the “Love and Honor” technique. The JOP, is a very busy man due to the fact that HE’S A JUDGE!!! There was no way to talk to him beforehand, because his appointment book was full.
I wasn’t pregnant, if you’d taken the time to even read my previous posts, you’d see that recently I’d posted that my SECOND husband and I have no intentions of having children. (Since you are such an imbecile, I’ll tell you now plainly. The babies I had in my first marriage died. Feel better knowing this you shit flinging ebola infected ape?) FTR I’m 30, and my current husband is almost 20.
If you want to sneer, at least improve your reading comprehension.
Glad to know you consider someone who has no problem keeping her fiance up until 10pm at night, then wake him up at any hour “to talk, because I’m lonely”, when she KNOWS he has to be up for work at 4 am principled! This is what the bride does, if you had managed to comprehend my posts, you would have seen that.
I don’t care WHO is the MOH. My problem is the fact that to do something that my husband very much wants to do, (Stand beside his best friend/brother on his wedding day.) he has to be subjected to his ex-girlfriend (who is MOH) and her psychological abuse.
The wedding has been thrown together by the groom’s mother, and the bride’s grandmother in less than a month. Time is of the essence. They want to uphold the family honor and have the vows said before their grandbaby is born. This is why she should have taken the diplomatic approach.
I just found out today, the minister was the first one to lie. He told them he had no problem with them writing the ceremony, then when he came to the rehearsal, he refused to allow it and insisted on using the Bible. I did not know this until now. She is very lucky we knew a person ordained in both the Chrisitan and Pagan religions, and that he agreed to perform the ceremony. She was very nearly unable to get married at all.
A few new, though less original, insults, I am pleased. You could have handed the judge a note, or maybe put some more planning into your weddding so that the officiant was someone who knew you. You’re lucky he didn’t pronounce your names wrong.
Why would I read your previous posts? The shrill harpy-ness of the ones in this thread give me no desire to know you any better. I do wonder why you were in such a hurry to marry if you weren’t pregnant. It was fear of getting so old you’d need a walker to get down that aisle, huh?
I don’t care when the bride calls her fiance, and neither should you. If he can’t grow the balls to unplug his phone, your shrieking judgment of his deficiency isn’t going to help matters. Mind your own business. I still believe that the bride is principled for standing up to minister that even you admit is an “asshat” and a liar. Though I’m now inclined to say that her groom is a shivering, pussy-whipped, coward. <shrug> Maybe the whining of the women in your town does that.
It makes no sense for you to say that the bride “was very nearly unable to get married at all”. If worst came to worst she could have taken your hasty half-assed approach to finding an officiant.
Your husband only has to be “subjected” to the moh for a few minutes. Is he another shivering coward, or is the problem really yours. Don’t worry, sweetie, I don’t think she can steal him away in one short day, unless you’re a total bitch. Hmmm…
They bride to be, and groom live together.
The reason I cared about her waking him up, is because he is so tired he can barely stand, and is not entirely coherent either.
It is our business in a way, he’s our friend too, and what she’s doing is endangering his health.
Note: I put the statement I wanted to say in the pit. What I really said was along the lines of, “Don’t you think you should let him rest more? He looks so tired.”
The grandmother, and mother took action and arranged for a formal wedding.
They were going to go to the JOP too, but had been procrastinating.
We had to wait a couple of months to get married because all the judges were busy.
We took the judge that was free the soonest, and he happened to be a friend of my husband’s family.
Ahhh, another display of your scintillating morals, and intellect. So, it’s ok for a person to be subjected to more abuse from their abuser? This is what you’re saying?
Let’s take this elsewhere…
Link
This is going to sound harsh, but I think the OP’s husband should grow a pair and handle his own problems. And if this is really such a huge problem, he should refuse to be the best man. It sounds like the groom is making a mistake he’ll regret before too much longer anyway, but try telling him that.
He went to the groom with his problems, and the groom came up with an idea that would be a beautiful solution. He wanted to have 2 best men, and 2 maids of honor so the problem would not come up. The bride won’t go for it though. 
I have to agree, I don’t think it’s a match made in heaven, but it’s what the groom believes he wants. Cry
After reading this, I take back what I said before. The groom is a fucking idiot who deserves his fate. The gracious thing for him to have done when your husband approached him would be to either let him off the hook, or at most just ask him to be an ordinary groomsman instead. What a retard.
The upside is, there’s no law that says your husband must be the best man, just because he was asked.
Except that he’s the groom’s best friend and would not think twice to get him out from traffic at the cost of his own life and vice versa. My husband wants to stand up with the groom on his wedding day.
It isn’t the groom who’s being insensitive and putting his needs above my spouse, it’s the bride. The wedding is non-traditional in the first place, so it’s not that far of a departure to have 2 best men, and 2 maids of honor. This would work, we don’t care if the current MOH, and other groom’s man go first in procession. It would be much more harmonious.
Oh. My. God! Clawbane, it is your great misfortune that William Faulkner is no longer among the living. You could print this thread and the pit thread it spawned, forward it to him and share in several million dollars worth of royalties.
Let’s start with the somewhat unusual situation of a minister that is ordained in both the Christian and Pagan religions. Then we’ll move along to puppy strangling, five year olds slashing water beds with a knife, and siblings stealing money from parents in order to frame other siblings for theft.
Dwell awhile on abusive relationships and weird wedding arrangements. Tarry for a few chapters with some of the other unconventional and hateful crap that’s going on. Next, there’s some of life’s more serious tragedies to be dealt with. Then we’ll climax it with the 14 year old virgin requesting to be fisted.
Yep, a million seller alright.
While we await Faulkner’s reincarnation, I would suggest that you follow ** Bad News Baboon**'s advice. Get yourself and your husband in the car and get the hell out of that madhouse. Leave Kansas, Toto. Drive until you run out of money, then make a plan. Trust me, it’s your only and last chance at sanity.
/self hijack
nod Alas, ** John Carter of Mars ** the words you speak have rare wit and wisdom. If only we had the werewithal to follow your advice!
(Ok,it’s money and the fact that he’s still going to school, then has welding courses next that’s chaining us)
I do wish it were only a book or bad movie, and not reality. Pinch me, will ya? Maybe it will work. Our regular circle of friends isn’t usually this full of melodrama, often it’s harmonious and peaceful to the point of being almost geeky. Except the fact that we’re goths. Oh, wait, nevermind…
self hijack/