Little Debbie (R)

is too young to be wearing lipstick!

Yep, they sure did tart up (ha!) the figurehead for America’s favorite third-rate baked good perveyor. But she is hardly the first example of scandal in the mass market confection industry, for example:

Little Slugger, the teddy bear seen on Home Run [sup]TM[/sup] fruit pies, has spent years in and out of rehab for his free-base habit.

Charlie the Choc-O-dile: Killed by poachers.

Twinkie the kid, dead of auto-erotic asphixiation. It was well known in some circles that he wanted to take exploration of his creamy center to it’s furthest limits.

Fruit Pie the Magician: Dead, AIDS.

Dolly Madison: Tabloids revealed her lesbian love trist with Peppermint Patty from the Peanuts cartoon. The “Moon-Pie Incident” as it was known almost destroyed the company.

Excuse me, but can we get back to my nutty bars here?
How can I enjoy them watching that little trollope?

<Slight hijack>
When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first Brownie.
</Slight hijack>

Should have posted this first

She does make me want to walk like a camel, though.

Little Debbie, Little Debbie, I’m a comin’ on home!

You think it’s funny!
I have to eat my breakfast looking at that little slut puppy!


She’s going through a phenomenon that is sweeping the nation: the objectification of little girls. When Little Debbie gets her own video, you’ll know that there is no way back. Can you see what she’s wearing in her picture on the box? Is it Prada? Tommy? I want to know more, but I don’t want to buy the product.

Well, gee, she has on this blue checked cow girl blouse with lace around the collar and a stupid looking white straw hat with a string under her chin.

.25 for breakfast, .50 if you are hungry. To paraphrase Churchill, “We know what she is, we are only haggling over the price.”