Hey it’s the fat man, and after replying to this thread What’s it taste like?
I thought “Hmmm. Maybe I shoule repost this in MPSIMS as a lot of the great and lovely sexy ladies there know and love me and wouldn’t sharing a lil pillow wisdom with a Fat guy in a little coat.” So, here is what I need to know.
All of you chicas, like SINsApple, who know about this, tell me this: How do I make it taste good, or at least bearable. My girlfriend flatly refuses to give me head more than once a year cuz she says that pre-cum tastes terrible and makes her want to puke. I don’t know, I don’t think it’s me, my last girlfriend ate that shit like it was
McDonald’s apple pie-filling. Then again, she was kindof a crack-whore. Anyway, is there anything I can do (eat lima beans, do
a headstand, drink that blue stuff you put your combs in) to make it taste better? I love to get head (huge suprise right? requirements for liking to get head=being human.) but my girl will only do it on like Valentine’s day. Not even on my birthday. This is starting to make me sad. Being that I love her and will never leave her, I may be one fiendin’ for a helmet shine s.o.b.
And that sux, so please, pretty please, with sugar on top, help me the fuck out, K?
Send some recipes? Send some tips about Altoids and Fellatio? Fruit roll-ups? Break me off a lil somthin’ somthin’?
Thanks.
Noonch.
Fat Guy in a Little Coat,
SDMB Self-Righteous Clique
boy, that ‘speak english’ stuff would be a help. not to be bitchy, but what the hell is the noonch thing? (i had a loonnng, incredibly intense session last night & was up early anyway. kinda tired.)
drop the beer. i would put money on that being the cause. i have found many times that the same man will taste very different depending on what he has eaten recently, & beer makes for very bitter cum. it’s not what you should eat, i believe, as much as what you shouldn’t.
do you have a diet w/ a lot of other strongly-flavored stuff, garlic, onions, whatever? you surely know what asparagus will do to your urine w/in 15 minutes or so. tell the g.f. what you are doing & see if she will try again. maybe you can even pin down the specific food that produces the taste she dislikes so.
another thought is maybe she is having difficulty w/ size rather than taste & doesn’t want to mention it, feeling you might think she was inadequate to the job. i’ve know a couple guys who were so big they were scary.
as for the former g.f. not minding, she may have been out of it too often to notice.
The old stand-by is to drink lots of pineapple juice. Apparently, that makes it taste better. Being female, and never having a BF who particularly liked pineapple juice, I can’t vouch for this, but it has to be an old stand-by for a reason, right?
Avoid Coffee at all costs!! I cannot stress that enough. Switch to hot chocolate, makes it sweeter, and not as bitter.
Avoid ANY FOODS that cause bad breath or gas.(that is your clue that the food will stink you up).
Avoid all foods that are acidic, grapefruit juice is a bad one.
Basically, eat a blander diet, with hot chocolate. And jerk off ALOT…that will clean out your old nasty … ahem … supply, so you can replenish before valentines day.
THIS IS IMPORTANT: READ THIS TWICE!
Jerk off BEFORE she goes down on you on valentines day…you wont be as …ahem…full, and you wont ooze as much precum (hopefully).
The precum is thicker, slimier tham regulat semen, maybe her problem is more with the texture than the taste.
I often find that after the man has been really hard for a while, the precum seems to exhaust itself, and they cease to ooze till they actually ejaculate. If this is the case with you, engage her in tons of foreplay until you cease to ooze, that, coupled with a good jerk off first might just fix things up.
Please let me know if this works for you…
While I am not an expert at oral sex, it is a hobby of mine!
Not to get real personal (like this thread couldn’t be MORE personal than it already is ), but doublecheck your personal hygiene. This means not only being nice n’ fresh n’ clean but also clean clothes all around, go easy or not at all on the cologne.
If you’re uncircumcised, double double on the being clean part.
Some women appreciate it more if the foliage around the area is trimmed – or even shaved. (Some men say that’s a nicer sensation, too, but ymmv.)The shaving part can be erotic too.
Try to incorporate more of what you want into your loveplay, don’t be guilt tripping her out about it, or begging, or pouting. That being said, on a purely personal note, what two people do together should be for the mutual satisfaction of all parties and denying stuff out of hand (no pun intended) unless it involves small children, farm animals or industrial machinery, well, that ain’t right either.
The tips about diet already mentioned might be useful too. Remember that everybody’s system is different and you’ll probably have to experiment until you find what makes you sweet.
And always, always, offer to reciprocate. And follow through. Repeatedly. It’s how to win friends and influence women.
OK, my two cents…
I’m also not fond of the taste. If all else fails she might try a little trick I use. A little toothpaste on the tongue deadends the tastebuds (eg put a little dab on the tongue and work it around the mouth).
(humour attempt/)
Why is the bride smiling when she walks down the aisle? Because she knows she’s given her last b**wj*b. (/humour attempt)
somebody has to say it, so…
WEAR A CONDOM.
keep up with the health information that’s available to you-- if you can find the oral sex ring thread (i’m too lazy) there was a news link within which mentioned all the diseases that can be transmitted by unprotected oral sex; while you’re at it, get some dental dams from your local health dept. and set a good example by GOING DOWN ON HER.
the hog squeal of the universe is coming from my modem!
Please! Oral sex is only slightly more dangerous than kissing! And thats IF you swallow a load!! A little precum in your mouth…a deep wet toungue kiss, really not that different.
And I DO keep up on the safety of such things!
There have been new cases of aids being spread by oral sex in gay men who engaged in only oral sex as opposed to anal sex. In virtually every case, there were extenuating factors: a cut in the mouth, recent dental work, the partner was hiv positive, and they went ahead and sucked him off daily anyway, etc.
SOOOooooooo if you have a cut in your mouth, recent dental work, or your partner has aids/hiv…wear a condom, or just dont do it. And ejaculating in the mouth is the risk factor her…if they dont, the risk is extremely low.
Pre-ejaculate is slightly bitter in my experience. It took some getting used to, but I didn’t mind. Neither did he.
I have yet to taste actual semen. (As much as we like oral sex, we tend to want to finish–and yes, we, it isn’t just my idea–during intercourse.) But I’m willing to try. Heh heh…that ought to be a stunner for him tonight. All done, and I lick him clean. Heh heh!
wow-- sorry i bummed/grossed everyone out so much, but herpes and gonorrhea are but two epidemics that one might try to avoid-- if not for yourself, then for your next partner!
most people who have herpes don’t know it, and it is precisely that ignorance that causes its spread-- did you know that oral herpes can be transmitted to your partner’s genitalia, and that genital herpes can be transmitted to your partner’s mouth? extrapolate for yourself-- i definitely want some latex between a herpes risk and myself-- and, since symptoms can so easily missed/misdiagnosed, i absolutely want to prevent transmitting anything to my partner!
the reaction on this board to the suggestion of wearing a condom frightnens me, and i’ve seen larry clark’s “kids.” is there even one person out there who agrees that safer sex means protection every time?
the hog squeal of the universe is coming from my modem!
It tastes like bleach to me. But I don’t have a problem until it’s…already down my throat…and then it’s like I’ve swallowed bleach. Ick. But I do it because he likes it and I like to see him enjoying himself because of something I’m doing.
I agree with the bland diet theory. My SO likes hot, spicy food, so that might be the problem with us.
Just before the guy comes, the woman should grasp his penis really really tight on the middle of the shaft. This keeps cum from coming out & the guy can still have an orgasm. It works.
), but doublecheck your personal hygiene. This means not only being nice n’ fresh n’ clean but also clean clothes all around, go easy or not at all on the cologne.