Being hit on by girls younger than my little sister (which has happened suprisingly often over the last year) and knowing that it would be perfectly legal for us to do very naughty things together is very disturbing and makes me feel incredibly old.
It’s a feeling that generally increases ten fold when (as Peak Banana already mentioned) they open their mouths.
Now don’t get me wrong - its very flattering when it happens, and I’m delighted God has apparently suddenly decided to bestow upon me the ability to be highly attractive to certain types of college-age girl. I just wish he’d had the decency to do it, ya know, whilst I was at bloody college. Bastard.
A while back a good friend and I were in a pub where we’d met up just for some drinks and a quick catch-up before heading back to our respective Missuses.
We were perched on our barstools happily supping our pints and trading urban myths (as is the pubbers way) when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a girl who had just stepped up to order drinks. She was the kind of lass that young men’s dreams are made of and wearing a skirt and strappy top combo that, though decent, left very little to the imagination. She bought her drinks, and, with a flick of her long, red, hair, headed back to her table - where an equally gorgeous (and minimally dressed) blonde friend was waiting for her. They were obviously prepared for a night on the town, and had decided to take a few quiet drinks in the pub first, before heading out to a club.
Suddenly, I realised that I had been staring and worse - that the red head had caught me at it. For a brief moment our eyes met across the crowded bar. She smiled at me - and my God, what a smile it was. Before I could look away she said something out of the corner of her mouth to her friend, who looked up and then smiled as well. Annoyed at myself for being caught staring and slightly embarassed, I threw them what I hoped was a decently apologetic smile and turned away - to find that the friend I had been with had just done exactly the same thing.
I was about to open my mouth to say something to him when he shot me a warning glance.
“Hi” said a soft, female voice from behind me. “Anyone sitting here?”
I turned round to found the two girls standing behind me, pointing at the empty barstools next to us.
“Err no,” I said “think they’re free.”
“Good” said the blonde one, sitting down. “So you guys from round here…?”
We chatted with them for a little while - they were nice enough girls, just started studying, enjoying the freedom but still learning how London worked et cetera, et cetera. We gave them some tips on places to go and things to see and in return they laughed at our jokes - which seemed like a fair trade to me.
“Well,” said the red-head, after about ten minutes, “we better get off to the club!”
“We’re heading off to Bar Aquarium” said the blonde lass, smiling, “Why don’t you guys come with us! It’ll be great!”
“Sorry girls” replied my friend, “Some of us have work tomorrow.”
“Aww,” said the red-head, looking at me with a hint of disappointment in her eyes (he says, modestly), “You sure? Nothing we can do to tempt you?”
“Nah,” I said, “Sorry ladies - its past our bedtimes I’m afraid.”
“Hah!” Giggled the blonde girl, “okay but if you change your minds, you know where we are!”
With a final smile and with brief flurry of clicky heels and the straightening of skirts, they both turned and left. We sat there for a moment, watching the door swing shut behind them.
“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Said my friend eventually, breaking the silence.
“I reckon I am” I replied.
“If I ever have a daughter I’m gonna make damn sure she wears a coat if she’s gonna go out dressed like that.”
“Too fucking right” I said, nodding in agreement, “Its fucking freezing out there tonight. They’ll catch their deaths.”
Garius - both too old, and happily nearly married 